Not sure where to start

[StarlitSkye]

Hello,

sooo... I'm new here. Gonna be 44 next month and thinking of trying fertility clinics in London. Not sure what I'm looking for, advice, opinions, anything.

I've had 2 pregnancies in the past 3 years. They both ended at about 12 weeks, low progesterone and they couldn't find any fetus on the scans. I don't think there ever was a fetus. NHS didn't check further, just monitored and told me to wait it out. The first 'waiting it out' was 3 months of off and on bleeding. Verdict was: I got unlucky. I'm not so sure about that given the 'no fetus' thing. My husband is 40 btw.

So now we've been trying for a year with no results, my periods are getting sketchy and I can't get an NHS appointment -been waiting for months now. I get that they are very busy with the pandemic, not complaining but I am thinking that maybe try a private fertility clinic.

Any advice? Thoughts? The whole thing seems extremely complicated and I'm lost in the articles and terminology.

So sorry to hear about this. What a strange experience with your previous pregnancies.

Did you ever have early scans with either of them? Do you know at what point the pregnancy stopped continuing?

Who are you struggling to get an appointment with, your GP? Your GP should be able to refer you for tests (blood and semen) with no issue, the waiting game comes with the fertility consultant and wait for IVF/treatment. However it might be worth googling what the cut offs are for your local council as regards IVF. Where I live (in London) I wouldn’t be eligible for IVF at 44.

Can you afford to go privately?

Hey, thanks for the response :)

Did you ever have early scans with either of them?

No, I didn't. I called my GP and they scheduled a consultation with a midwife at the 12th week. The first time right before the appointment and the second time a few days after meeting the midwife -which was worse cause I was so sure it would be good- I miscarried.

Do you know at what point the pregnancy stopped continuing?

No, idea. They told me it happens and no need to investigate unless I miscarry three times.

Who are you struggling to get an appointment with, your GP?

The gynacologist. I contacted the GP before Christmas and they said they'd get me an appointment. They got me one for 9th March, then they cancelled it -I don't know why- and haven't got another date since. They did explain that wait times are slow due to the pandemic.

Can you afford to go privately?

I can to a point. 5-10K would be ok, 20K would be stretching it. I'm really afraid of spending our savings and getting no result which I understand is a possibility.

However it might be worth googling what the cut offs are for your local council as regards IVF. Where I live (in London) I wouldn’t be eligible for IVF at 44

Will do that thanks.

It doesn't sound like you've had great care. I would have thought a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks would have triggered an early scan at least (but I speak from no experience or expertise, so maybe take that with a pinch of salt!). I had a scan at 5 & 6 weeks with my current pregnancy but I'd previously had an ectopic, so they wanted to rule out reoccurrence.

If I were you I'd start with the GP. If they are any good/able they should be able to get all your bloods done (some on cycle day 2-4 and some of cycle day 22, depending on your cycle) to rule out obvious hormonal issues and progesterone levels.

We had been TTC for 12 months when we spoke to the GP who was helpful and arranged bloods and semen analysis. However at that point I knew the NHS wouldn't be able to offer us any treatment because we already have a child and that precludes us from treatment in our Borough. So we bypassed the NHS altogether and went for a private consultation with our closest fertility clinic.

The prices vary massively depending on where you are, but for reference we paid £450 for: full bloods, semen analysis, AMH levels, comprehensive internal ultrasound for me and an hour long consultation. There is no denying that it's expensive, but I think between deciding to go for it and having the appointment we only waited about 3 weeks, and could have started IVF immediately afterwards. If you have a bit of cash I'd at least recommend it for speed.

Good luck with your decision.

Thank you very much!

So Ive narrowed it down to 4 places:

ARGC, Gennet, Evewell and Agora.

Has anyone had any experience with these? I have booked a phone consultation with the first, no idea if any will even accept someone my age but... well... Evewell seems extremely expensive but then again I have read that in ARGC cost mount in no time.

Calling all four and checking the age cut off is probably a good first step. Some of them might be happy to pursue but want you to use donor eggs? Maybe worth considering how you’d feel about that, if you haven’t already.

I don’t have any experience with any of those clinics but I’m sure they’re all great. Have you been able to find their success rate by age bracket on their websites? Might give you an idea as to which might be better suited.

I feel like I’ve made this about age and I’m sorry for doing that. If you take a look at the fertility boards you’ll see that many people have very successful pregnancies in their 40s, so I do apologise if any of my post came across as insensitive or rude. Hop onto that board and ask your Q about those clinics - I’m sure someone will have had experiences there! X

Thanks, will do. I've already put together an excel sheet with terminology and making lists... lol. It feels weird.

The success rate is very low on all of them for my age bracket about 4% or so. 4% or 5% doesn't really make a difference in reality, I think. We don't mind a donor egg. Neither of us is set on the child being biologically ours (if that's a correct term).

You're not insensitive or rude. You're actually helpful and thanks for that :)

Wonderful. Good luck @StarlitSkye - I wish you all the very best! x

HI @StarlitSkye I've had one round of IVF and two frozen transfers with Evewell. It wasn't successful but the clinic is lovely - all the staff are brilliant. It is expensive, though. We're actually thinking of moving to City, though that's less because of any issue with Evewell than just because we're moving house and City will be more convenient.Good luck with your search for the perfect clinic and with your IVF journey x