Scared about TTC

[daisyintheclouds]

I am 40 and have always been ambivalent about having children as whilst I enjoy being with my niece and other children, I have a fear of getting and being pregnant.

So for years I've been putting it off by saying we'll try next year. Given my age, it is now my last chance (if not too late already) and I agreed with my partner that I would come off the pill, which I have done this week, and whilst not actively try just see what happens.

This has made me feel very stressed and anxious and I don't know what to do. I don't want to regret in 5 years time that I didn't try and I also don't want to stop my partner from having the opportunity to be in a dad.

I really don't know what to do. I know I'm feeling quite low at the moment because of lockdown so I could consider pausing for a few months until I feel brighter, but I worry that I'm just kicking the issue into the long grass again.

It is frightening, your life is never the same again! But for a great reason!

I always say that you would never regret having a baby, but you might regret not doing x

Sounds like therapy should have been on the cards a while back to deal with the fear of getting/being pregnant? There's nothing stopping you (apart from finances of course!) from setting sessions up asap to deal with?

I agree though that if you think you'll regret not having them there is no point delaying anything.