TTC 40+ and just fancy a chat!

[Twothirtyam]

I’m not far off 41 and have been TTC number two for around 7 months. In that time I’ve had one chemical pregnancy and I think I might have conceived one other time (had some spotting a few days after ovulation) but never got a positive test and then my period arrived. Most months we’ve only managed to have sex once in my fertile window due to some considerable life stresses that we were going through so I know we haven’t really given it a proper chance but I still feel really deflated that we haven’t conceived yet and I’m starting to freak out about my advancing age! Life is a bit more settled now so in theory we can try with a bit more effort but one of the other problems is that my partner finds the pressure to have sex to conceive very off putting so I get really stressed about missing my window. He only really feels ‘in the mood’ in the mornings and our daughter is an early riser so it’s not easy to make it happen as often as we need to! Sorry this is turning into a bit of a ramble but it’s just on my mind all the time. I’ll be sad if we don’t have another but I’d just feel so grateful for my daughter. What I would struggle to accept though is not having given it a proper chance. Already I’m kicking myself for letting it take so long to start trying for number two. Anyway, I thought it would be nice to chat to others over 40 who are TTC at the moment?

@ClaireEclair that all sounds really tough. Wishing you the very best of luck.
It’s interesting to understand the statistics a bit more and not feel so frightened by it all. I like to read this every now and then to reassure me! www.bpas.org/get-involved/campaigns/briefings/older-mothers/
I can feel that I’ll be ovulating soon and I just feel so unhelpfully stressed about managing to have sex at the right times as my partner hates the pressure of performing to schedule!

Very interesting article, thanks for posting. I find these statistics labelling older pregnancies as a trend, really surprising. My mother who grew up in South Asia said women used to become pregnant in their 40s all the time, and no one made a fuss of it. Equally my Chinese acupuncturist says the same. I guess it’s really common sense, in the history of women conceiving (the beginning of human kind) I can’t imagine there were many people who were not giving birth in their 40s...! (I say this to make myself feel better- but I’m also sure it is true).

Really interesting article ! That is crazy that it's from such old statistics !!!
Makes me feel better about still trying despite turning 40 !

So as I mentioned previously I seem to have ovulated early this time round so I'm now 12 dpo....but not due my period until next Friday !!

I've used a couple of internet cheapies and got nothing on them so still a bit clueless as to whether we've been successful this time round. Just need to wait and see.

It's beyond frustrating this ttc malarky ! I'm trying not to become obsessed with it, but so glad that I'm still going to work full time just now so it's def keeping my mind off it a bit more !

@BabyMoonPie
Perhaps having a wee break would work ?
My hubby and I decided to take a break from ttc in October- January due to our early MC at the end of September, I think it's actually helped us just taking the break from it all ❤️

Hi All,
I’m 40 and trying to conceive #2
I had a chemical last cycle and a early miscarriage this cycle. It (conception) worked first two months of trying but ending up with losses. So I’m hoping I’ll be third time lucky.

Hi @birdbybird sorry to hear about your losses. It’s good that conception is happening for you but it’s hard isn’t it when they don’t work out. Fingers crossed for next cycle. As my GP said you know you’re fertile so now it’s just a waiting game! I’m in the TWW now but yet again only managed to DTD once in my fertile window. Feel like I’m just wasting the opportunity each month! Hopefully next month we’ll be able to try a bit more.

Hey ladies! I'm 43 and ttc my second DC for a year now without success. MY DH suggested we look into ivf clinics soon, because "If we were able to conceive naturally, we would have by now"... I don't know. It's hard.

@Twothirtyam I know this is an old thread but would like to know how things panned out? In a similar situation.

Hi @winterfox78
Goodness I’d forgotten all about this thread!
It took several months longer (18 months in total) but I’m now 21 weeks pregnant. Feels very weird saying that still!
What is happening with you? Keep the faith that it can happen!

@Twothirtyam congratulations! And you are 42 now?

Trying for number 2 but may have run out of time...I turn 44 in August.

We have been trying on and off for 6 months...

I worry I've left it too late.

Too busy enjoying DD1 who is 3!

X

Congratulations!

My first post on this thread is so negative and I wanted to add a positive update if anyone else reads it! We did carry on ttc... and it worked :-) It took 27 cycles to conceive but DD2 is nearly 6 months old

@winterfox78 yes am 42 now. I’ve funnily met two women recently who have had their second at 44! What helped me come to terms with potentially not having a second was actually properly trying to conceive every month, if that makes sense. I’m so fortunate to have a child already and I’d given myself a deadline to stop trying and felt sometimes sad but often ok about that. Also I’m really lucky in that at least 50% or more of my friends with children only have the one so I didn’t feel like our family would be strange or different in anyway. Wishing you all the best with it!

@BabyMoonPie oh how lovely congratulations! It’s so good to know when things work out well isn’t it 😊

@dutchessmom ...and also wondered how your journey went?