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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Wedding rescheduled - are we ready for a baby instead?!

9 replies

hksxx · 17/02/2021 22:33

Hi all,

First time post and just feeling a bit confused...

I’m 25 and have been with my partner for 7 years. He is a couple of years older than me. We own our home and have lived here for 5 years - we are just in the process of moving house to a bigger place, beautiful garden, but it needs a bit of work (nothing major - definitely liveable!)

We both have good jobs and are financially stable. My job is very stressful and some days I hate it - but for the most part really enjoy it. I am very lucky in that my employer is very flexible - good maternity pay and I could return to work part time/ work from home half of the time after baby.

We were due to get married in Summer 2020, rescheduled to Summer 2021 due to COVID which is now being rescheduled again. We have booked a back up date for 2023 on the basis of us trying for a baby before the wedding.

My partner is very broody and wanted us to try for a baby a couple of years ago - but I have always delayed due to wanting to have a career/ house first. He is lovely and has always been supportive to & understanding.

I feel like I am running out of reasons to delay and waiting to feel 100% ready - but I don’t know if that feeling will ever come! When we viewed our new house my thoughts were all about the family we would have there, and I get excited thinking about our future children - but the prospect is also terrifying! I love our lives together and I feel as though we have missed out a lot due to COVID as we were hoping to be married and had a long honeymoon booked - they were kind of the last things on my ‘list’ to do before babies.

What are your thoughts - do we get married in 2023 and then try for a baby? Or keep with the plan of baby before wedding attempt 3?!

Do you ever feel completely ready to try for a baby?

OP posts:

Fifi1086 · 17/02/2021 22:46

I have no real advice other than there is never a right time to have a baby, and that life doesn't wait 😊😊

I'm older than you at 34 and have a child from a previous relationship, but after postponing our wedding from last May to possibly not even being able to have a tiny wedding this May, we decided to just go ahead and start trying! Life doesn't wait for our plans, but you're young so do what feels right xx

acupofteamakeseverythingbetter · 17/02/2021 22:47

We were in a similar position where our October 2020 wedding was pushed back to April 2021 but it soon became apparent that wasn’t going to happen either so we have pushed back to October 2022 so we could start trying for a baby. I’m currently almost 6 weeks pregnant 🥰

There never is going to be a right or wrong time and I think in these current situations you need to do what’s best for you both at that moment x

Woodlandbelle · 17/02/2021 22:49

I would have a quiet wedding this summer and then try for a baby. You might even get a trip to Paris or something Covid vaccines are being rolled out.

Keha · 17/02/2021 22:58

As above, there is not a right time however I became more sure I wanted to have kids and it was the best time it could be as I got a bit older. As I hit my early 30s, I was realising that it might get harder in my late 30s to get pregnant and I might want 2/3 kids so let's start trying. At 25 you have time to play with, so if you don't feel quite sure yet then personally I wouldn't rush it.

katy1213 · 17/02/2021 23:03

You're only 25 - don't tie yourself down yet. You're not sure you want this and there's no going back from it. It's fine for your partner to feel broody; I bet it won't change his life as much as it changes yours.

AudacityOfHope · 17/02/2021 23:07

You don't need to find reasons not to be ready. Your reason is that you're not ready!

You're young, you have time. You don't have to take any more steps that you're not ready to take. You're already very far ahead of where lots of 25 year olds are, so if you are content for now there's nothing wrong with that.

Original poster

hksxx · 18/02/2021 17:57

@acupofteamakeseverythingbetter Ahh congratulations!! Do you ever feel sad that your wedding will be different now? I think I went down a rabbit hole of people saying wedding first & freaked myself out haha - definitely overthinking I think!

OP posts:

Original poster

hksxx · 18/02/2021 17:59

Thanks everyone! I am usually a logical person and had a plan of house, career, wedding, babies... then COVID came along and wiped it all out haha I’m just not sure what we want the new plan to look like yet...

OP posts:

acupofteamakeseverythingbetter · 18/02/2021 20:08

@hksxx the wedding will be different in the sense that we will have our baby there but the whole reason we have pushed it back is so we can have the original day that we had planned for (without restrictions hopefully or mask wearing etc) so it won’t be different to our original plan at all really. We’re just doing baby then wedding rather than the other way around.

I was so stressed in the lead up to wedding with all of the lockdowns and restrictions and I was in a very dark place mentally with it all but as soon as we pushed it back to 2022 we felt a weight lifted off our shoulders and were so excited to start trying for a baby and we feel so positive with the decision we’ve made 🥰

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