Too young?

[Lou98x]

Not sure if I’m posting this in the right place, I’m new here!

Here’s the situation, I am 22 and my partner is 24. We have been together for 4 years, and bought our house last year. We have always talked about having our children by the time we are 30, so we want to be pretty young when we start. I have recently had my contraceptive implant taken out, as I want to see how my cycle is off hormones, and we are sort of playing the “if it happens, it happens” game when it comes to getting pregnant right now. Now the problem is, is I want to actually try to get pregnant this year, but my partner is still wary that we’re too young (but obviously if we were to get pregnant now that would be fine!)

What do you think?? Any advice or if anyone has been in the same situation I’d much appreciate it!

Hi @Lou98x
If your partner is still wary, then I would seriously consider his feelings in this regard. You both need to be in this 100% together and you need to be able to feel you have his complete support whilst you go into the wonderful world of TTC.

I think the ‘see what happens’ approach is completely valid as you wait for your body to settle down after coming off contraception. He has already agreed to this and that’s fair enough.

Whilst I don’t want to make this about age, you are very lucky to have plenty of time on your side so waiting until your partner is 100% on board is totally doable. Just enjoy the practising! Good luck! x

@Lou98x

Sort of similar situation...
I'm 23, partner is 24. Found out we was pregnant on Tuesday and didn't quite know how to react as it was a very big shock.

We didn't want children for another couple of years! Sadly I miscarried as I started bleeding heavily yesterday.
Although now this has happened it has made us realise actually we do want kids! So we are going to start trying officially!
But to be honest I don't think anyone is ever ready to have children 🤣🙈

You could do the ‘if it happens it happens’ approach for the next 6 months or so? If nothing happens then you could have a conversation about officially trying?

It might take a while for your body to have regular cycles post contraceptive. That makes it hard to ‘officially’ try because you can’t track ovulation.

Is DP wary or is he fine with TTC?

They’re very different things. You’re either trying or you’re not, you’re either have unprotected sexual or you’re not. There’s no grey area.

Have a chat and get some definite decisions made and then go from there.

@emfl01 That’s so sad that you’ve had to go through a miscarriage, but hopefully you’ll be able to conceive again quickly!

We did have one moment where I thought I was pregnant when we were still on contraception, but I wasn’t, and my partner said he was disappointed when I told him I wasn’t. That made me realise he’d be thrilled if we were to get pregnant!

@cat8986 thank you!! I think that’s the kind of response I was looking for, just a bit of reassurance and someone to tell me to just take my time and ‘enjoy the practise’

Thank you!

@FTEngineerM we’re not using contraception (and we’re both on the same page about that) but not tracking ovulation or anything, like I say, I’ve just recently had my implant out so no idea if/when I’m ovulating.

@DoodleLovin I think that’s the plan, that’s exactly why I wanted to come off contraception in the first place, so that when we officially want to try, my cycle might be regular by that point, making it a bit easier.

I don’t think you’re too young, it’s what’s right for you and your partner, and you seem in a stable position. But if your DP doesn’t want to TTC I’d continue with the see what happens approach

Just a heads up I took out the implant in December and was pregnant by mid January! It's life changing and even though very much wanted it's a been a huge thing to get our heads around, it really is the end of your freedom

I think if you BOTH don’t have decent jobs I would hang fire. What are your living arrangements? How long have you dated?

If you don’t already live together I would recommend moving in before a baby OP.

I'm 23 and DP is 26! We have our own house, good careers and been together 7 years now. Suppose to get married in May too! I feel like it's the right time for us, we know we are young but we've hit a lot of what we wanted to in regards to careers, uni and life so why wait! Cycle 4 now so it's not happened yet

@Sumwin1 both in secure jobs, been together 4 years and owned a home together for a year. The financial aspect isn’t a problem for us, is more so the being mentally ready for it.

@Amijustagrump Very similar situation then! Nice to know it’s not just us, when everyone’s telling you you’re too young etc. Wishing you good luck!

Definitely don't think you're too young, sounds like you're in a nice secure relationship and you own your own home. It's about when you and your partner are ready, not when other people believe you're ready!

I was 21 when I had my first daughter, 23 when I had my second and now I've just turned 25 and am 7 weeks pregnant with what will hopefully be my third child. I've loved doing it all young! ❤️ There's a lot of benefits to being a 'younger' parent.

Good luck! 🤞🏻