is it normal to feel so depressed ttcing?

[ttcrainbowbaby1]

I'm becoming tired of ttcing, we had a missed miscarriage last year and have been ttc since, almost a year. I feel so low about us not having conceived yet every day, I used to love kids and visit my nieces and nephews but now I can't even look at them without feeling immensely sad. Sometimes I feel like giving up on life because it feels so empty without having a child. I don't want to seem extreme but I also don't know what's normal to feel, my mum and sister both conceived within a month or two of trying. I don't even want to go to work anymore because I just feel so sad about everything. I had a few weeks off with low moods back in November, and I actually ended up crying in work and spoke to my manager about ttcing and she didn't really understand and just told me to have 5 minutes before getting back to it (I work in care). I don't know what to do anymore but it genuinely is consuming my entire life at this point. I don't think I'll be happy until I have our child, and the fact that I don't know when that will happen scares me.

@ttcrainbowbaby1 I'm not sure if it's normal to feel as down as you do, maybe you should chat to your doctor about it.

I had a mc in summer 2019 after a year of ttc and I felt so down, cried every month I got my period, kept worrying that something was wrong with me. I couldn't see a doctor because of covid. I spoke to my mum about it and she told me to relax and stop worrying and if I wasn't pregnant by Jan 2021 to see the doctor.

I ended up pregnant in Dec 2020 and had another mc. I was at my doctors on Jan about a different issue and spoke to the doctor telling her about how long it took to conceive both times, and that I wanted referred for tests. She told me the nhs weren't interested until I had 3 mcs. I didnt know but was actually pregnant again at that appointment and I'm going for an early scan this week.

I know my story isnt a happy ending but your not alone. It can take a while to get pregnant sometimes. I know it's hard but try not get yourself so worked up and upset because stress can affect ttc

@ttcrainbowbaby1i hope you’re ok?
This made me feel so sad reading how sad you felt.
But I also wanted to say, you’re not alone. I know how you feel because my husband and I have been trying for 2yrs. We also had a miscarriage last year via IVF. However, I’m now 12 weeks pregnant naturally....so it will and can happen. I’m sorry you miscarried, but look at it as a plus that you did fall pregnant.
I understand how you must feel and it can really take over your life, especially whilst in lockdown when there is so little to do or think about. Also watching everyone and I mean everyone else in the world get pregnant (well, that’s what it feels like anyway) can be so draining. Things that helped me

1. delete social media....it’s such a depressing drain on life.
2. try to live each day as it comes...just focus on the present. Not the future or should be:
3. remember.....IT WILL, and I mean it will happen for you. Don’t put a timeline on it, but just know it will happen.

Most of my friends are having their 2nd and it’s taken me ages to get pregnant. Just remember, some people fall pregnant quickly, some a year, 2yrs...3yrs maybe 4+.
But it happens, don’t give up hope and please don’t feel so sad. We’re all in the same boat and always happy to talk xxx

@ttcrainbowbaby I hope you are okay. I can't help much except to say TTC is making me really down and sad as well. I've been TTC for 18 months now and it's hard not to get a bit obsessed with it and then get very sad when another month goes by without a positive pregnancy test. I've actually started some CBT therapy which I've found has helped a bit, but I wouldn't say I don't sometimes still feel quite sad about it all. Sending lots of positive energy to you, I think we will get there in the end ☺️

Hi ladies, just wanted to also add. The miscarriage association run free monthly zoom calls. I did those a few times and it’s just great to speak with other like minded woman who are going through the same thing as you. You can find them on Instagram or www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Email them for the zoom details, they are a great resource and support system xx