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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Why does it take so long?!?

7 replies

TTCnum1 · 08/02/2021 08:51

Does anyone else feel like they were stupidly naive and expected pregnancy to happen straight away? I had the coil removed in September and left it for 4 months to start TTC letting everything regulate. My DH and I have been on vitamins (zinc, vitamin C, folic acid, B vitamin complex and vitamin D), we have used fertility lubricant, I tracked my ov using a clear blue monitor for 4 months to get an idea and then did the same the first proper month TTC and we DTD every day during the fertile week and on peak days but still nothing!! We are both young (I'm 25, DH is 33) healthy and fit (run 3 times a week and walk the dog every day) so why am I not pregnant?! I even lost 1.5 stone in the 4 months I was off the coil to get properly in the normal BMI range which I am now. I've been planning this since March last year and have done everything right!
This second cycle we took the relaxed approach and didn't track but I get ovulation pains so I know approx and I took a FRER today at 10dpo and BFN! I was so sure this was the month as I was woken up on Friday with an intense stabbing pain over my right ovary that I'd convinced myself was implantation.
How do people keep going when it doesn't happen straight away?

OP posts:
OnlyToWin · 08/02/2021 08:55

Really sorry but don’t think two months of trying can be considered “taking so long”. It took us much longer - years and fertility treatment to conceive dd1. I think it can take up to a year until it is considered a bit of a concern. You sound like you are doing all you can. Wishing you luck OP. Hope you get your BFP soon.

BabyMoonPie · 08/02/2021 09:03

I think that a lot of the problem is that in school you're told you WILL get pregnant if you have unprotected sex and it sticks with you. You need to relax about TTC and not let it take over your life and that is hard to do. You're young, it sounds like you're doing everything you can and the chances are you'll be pregnant within a year. It took us 8 months to conceive our first and we're on month 26 trying for the second

PCar20 · 08/02/2021 09:06

You may be overthinking it? We were on holiday, totally relaxed and tipsy on sangria when we conceived our first month of trying. You seem very worked you about it all and you’ve only just started trying. It can be a year before anyone would even begin considering it to be a concern

Original poster
TTCnum1 · 08/02/2021 09:12

I guess it's really hard for it to not take over your life when there is nothing else to distract from it...I'd love to go on holiday and have the distraction of having plans at the weekend but there is nothing to do! I definitely think lockdown has made the whole process harder Sad because there's no escaping it

OP posts:
ElleL91 · 08/02/2021 12:32

@BabyMoonPie

I think that a lot of the problem is that in school you're told you WILL get pregnant if you have unprotected sex and it sticks with you. You need to relax about TTC and not let it take over your life and that is hard to do. You're young, it sounds like you're doing everything you can and the chances are you'll be pregnant within a year. It took us 8 months to conceive our first and we're on month 26 trying for the second
This is exactly how I feel!

As an adult I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with the fact that I'm not yet pregnant after TTC for almost 18 months after being told all throughout my teens that I will get pregnant.

I really do think that infertility should be taught as part of sex Ed/ biology classes to educate on these types of issues.

SSW101 · 08/02/2021 15:58

I totally understand how you are feeling @TTCnum1. I'm also in the early stages of the TTC journey but feeling frustrated that even with perfect timing the odds are still only 25 to 30%. I knew this before starting but I guess I didn't believe it deep down? I do wonder if people close down TTC conversations by saying it was really quick/an accident to avoid nosy questions in real life and this skews our perception of how easy it is.

I read somewhere that as childbirth is relatively more dangerous for us compared to our primate relatives it makes sense for humans to be less fertile. It should be a tricky process - pre-birth control it probably saved the lives of many of our ancestors. Reading that helped me accept that there is an evolutionary reason why healthy couples with normal fertility may still need over a year to conceive

DinosaurDiana · 08/02/2021 16:00

Sex every day is too much. Every other day is best.

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