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TTC 15 months. Fertility investigations on hold. Just feeling deflated and need someone to talk to.

8 replies

GreenGrace7 · 03/02/2021 16:06

Hi to whoever might read this. I've dipped in and out of many a thread on here over the past year, but this is the first time I've posted anything. Hoping to find some solidarity - I know many of you are also going through some of the same things as I am, but also wonder if I'm the only one with some situations!

I came off the combined pill in October 2019 as my husband and I wanted to start trying for a baby. My period came back pretty much straight away and resumed the regular pattern I'd always had before starting on the pill.

I think I assumed I may have some problems conceiving, as I've suffered for years with a lot of excess hair growth and more recently other skin issues such as tags. PCOS had been batted around as a possibility because of that years before pregnancy was even on my mind, but had been considered unlikely by the Dr because my cycles are not irregular. Had a scan at that time that showed nothing.

Now we've been TTC for more than a year, I've had the initial fertility checks again. Bloods came back normal enough (some levels slightly off, but nothing enough to be concerning apparently). Been for a scan at the hospital again and that has come back with a result of possible PCOS as my ovaries are slightly different sizes?? They didn't say anything about identifying cysts though.

I'm just incredibly confused because of my regular cycles. I have also been doing opks for the last 3/4 months which always show a peak as far as I can tell. I know PCOS is possible with regular cycles, but I haven't found anyone else who has this. If I seem to be ovulating regularly, what could the issue be?

I know I need more investigations. The next thing has to be OHs SA before my gp will refer us to a gynaecologist. The problem is that the nearest place he can go with the sample is an hour's drive away and the sample needs to be fresh within an hour! We had hoped to stay in a hotel somewhere nearer but with the pandemic that hasn't been possible and may not be for a long time. He can use a room at the hospital instead, but understandably he has concerns about being able to produce the sample there, so is reluctant. I feel crazy with impatience to progress, but don't want to push him, so now we may just have to wait.

I'm in a place now where I feel having children is just something that happens to other people. It's not meant for us. I also feel like I have no one to talk to about what's going on. My poor husband is great, but has heard it from me over and over again. I don't know of any friends in the same boat either. When I try to bring up the subject with my mum, I feel like she always tries to move on from it quickly. I think it hurts her too. My sister wasn't able to conceive either. I want to talk to her about it, but she lives abroad and has just gone through divorce, so it's not an easy subject to broach. I'm the youngest by 15 years (about to turn 32), so it's like I'm the last hope for our family to grow. I get so carried away with my emotions over the situation sometimes that I start with ridiculous things like imagining us as a lonely old couple with no family. Extreme I know haha.

Sorry for the long post. Maybe someone has a similar experience with some of these things or some words of wisdom? Even just some friendship while lonely and TTC obsessed during lockdown would be lovely.

Take care all Flowers

OP posts:
Juno231 · 03/02/2021 16:29

Hello!

I'm on cycle 14, but I'm sure I'm only 10 days away from joining you in cycle 15...

I came off the pill in Sep 2019 and got the ball rolling on blood tests in July cause something didn't feel right. Nothing came out glaringly wrong - the one thing that concerned me slightly was a TSH of 3.1 but that's it. I'm due to have my fertility clinic appointment next week (originally meant to happen on Monday but they rescheduled it only an hour beforehand!).

I'm totally with you on feeling deflated and despondent about this whole TTC process. Never in my wildest days did I think I'd still be here over a year later!

Regarding the SA - to be completely honest I think I'd find a secluded parking spot 30 min or closer to the hospital and take the opportunity to "help" OH produce his sample. Sounds like it could be fun if you wanted it to be!

Always happy to chat :)

Emilyh92 · 03/02/2021 16:30

Hi grace, I can totally relate to your message and how you’re feeling. TTC when it doesn’t happen quickly is so hard and has honestly been the most isolating situation I’ve ever been in. I also don’t know anyone in the same situation as me and it seems like everyone around me falls pregnant so easily!

I have PCOS and have started some treatment now so that’s positive but no pregnancy so far. Really sorry to hear they have put your investigations on hold! I feel like your instinct is usually right and you know yourself better than the doctors so maybe it is PCOS if that’s what you think? I had the same experience, I had no weight issues or obvious symptoms so it took them ages to diagnose me but I just knew. I do have irregular periods though.

Have you asked the doctor what your OH can do about his sample? Our closest place was 45 minutes away so I was worried about that too but they told us it would be fine. Maybe being 10-15 minutes off of the hour wouldn’t be a problem?

Try not to think too negatively about it! I do exactly the same though and my poor boyfriend has had to put up with so many emotional outbursts lol. I’m sure you’ll get there eventually, it’s just very hard to be so patient!

If you want to chat I’m always looking for someone to speak to who’s in the same boat so DM me :) xx

GreenGrace7 · 03/02/2021 16:44

Hi Juno, thanks for responding!

Sorry to hear you're in the same boat with length of time TTC. A year has seemed especially long considering all the restrictions and time spent at home. I've been pleasantly surprised not to have been put off by the GP and hospital with the tests I've had so far. I thought with the virus maybe fertility things would be bottom of the list.

Best of luck for your appointment next week and fingers crossed it doesn't get put back again! Hope you get some answers from it.

Haha I'll suggest the secluded car park to my OH and see what he says!

OP posts:
GreenGrace7 · 03/02/2021 17:05

Hi Emily, thanks so much for your message. It's nice to find others that relate, but so sorry you're going through this too. Some of my friends are baby machines it seems haha!

How long have you been TTC for?

I'm not totally sure on the PCOS, but am fairly sure there's some hormonal imbalance issues. Do you mind me asking a bit more about the treatment you've started? My limited understanding is that most PCOS treatment is to help regulate cycles and trigger ovulation, which is perfect if that's what you need. I'm just wondering if I'm right that I'm definitely ovulating. I think so!

The Dr really just encouraged my OH to ask for a room at the hospital. I can tell he really doesn't want to do that, but eventually I'm sure he'd give it a go if we've got no other option. I guess he could double check with them about the hour too. Interesting to know that it was ok for you at similar distance.

You are so right about the negativity. It's definitely not a helpful factor. We must continue to have hope that our time will come! Xx

OP posts:
Emilyh92 · 03/02/2021 20:55

Yeah I feel like that too! A girl I work with came off the pill and was pregnant the first month, I’m happy for her but it’s so frustrating..

We’ve been TTC for about a year and a half although we did take a couple of breaks when I felt like it was all too much.

I’m taking Clomid at the moment, I’ve done 4 cycles and ovulated twice out of the 4 times, so I think my problem was definitely not ovulating much if at all. From what I understand you’re right, Clomid is for people who don’t ovulate but I’m not sure it may work if you do too?

I have a scan before ovulation just to check the dosage was right and see if there are mature follicles there, then on day 21 of my cycle I have a progesterone blood test to check if I did actually ovulate. Maybe they could do a blood test for you for a few cycles then it would confirm if you did or not?

There are so many different treatments nowadays they’ll get you started on something soon I’m sure. Last year they delayed this treatment for me too but it only ended up being for 3 months luckily! Xx

Justbecause88 · 03/02/2021 23:08

@Juno231 are they going to start you on thyroxine for your thyroid? Don’t let them fob you off, TSH level should be between 1-2 for TTC. Mine last 2.5 in December so my medication has been increased. It really does have a big impact when TTC, even at ‘subclinical’ levels.

truetuesdays · 03/02/2021 23:15

Hi OP I've been trying since October 2019 as well. Never imagined I would still be in this situation now.

Like you I have regular periods. Paid for private testing last year and all came back OK so absolutely no idea what to do.

Realistically we may try for another 6 months then pursue IVF (COVID permitting)

It's a real slog. I hate it

Lala87 · 26/02/2024 12:09

I know this thread is old but I'm searching for some positive stories. I'm only cycle 15. I have one DD who was conceived in 9 months back in 2020. Tests are within range but my AMH is on the lower end for my age. I'm 36 and AMH is 7.45.

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