TTC for the first time at 38

[cosmicpixiesb]

I came off the pill back in June and it took until August time for me to have the second "proper" bleed and every time AF comes since then, it has felt like I had all the pregnancy symptoms. My parter is 28 and before I met him I had been with someone for a decade who cheated before our wedding, so resigned myself to no kids. I am now worrying I may have left things too late. I am mapping my periods and just bought a clear blue digital fertility kit to make sure we are utilising our windows. We are at it all the time so I guess I presumed I would fall pregnant easier! I am feeling very down today as his 23 year old sister has just fallen pregnant after barely any trying. I got so upset and know that we haven't been trying all that long. Any tips? Stories of hope? Suggestions? Thank you and sorry to sound ranty! I am lucky I have a very loving partner who deals with my worries so well.

Not to be scaremongering but I'd get the ball rolling on the NHS tests purely because of how long the process takes and the covid backlogs they have right now. Hopefully all is fine and you won't need any of their help but you might as well reassure yourself of that. On the flip side of something isn't right then you will be glad you sought out help early!

There are many people in their late 30s TTC, many do get pregnant but it can take a bit longer.

I'm 37 trying for #1. We are only in our first month, 5 days into the TWW at the moment. We are trying SMEP.
Unfortunately I have all the usual feelings that I am going to get AF in the next week.

We have decided that if we don't catch by late spring we will get tests done. If you've been trying for a few months, I would start looking into that now.

I do hope that you manage to conceive soon.

Thank you Juno231 and pinkpirlie. I was in such a state beating myself up yesterday. I felt awful as I was so happy for OH's sister, but then I felt deficient or incapable / not fulfilling my womanly purpose, as silly as that sounds.

Can you book the NHS tests if it's only a few months? I thought they might be funny if it was under a year. Do they take blood / semen samples?

I have got the clear blue digital ovulation kit coming and a thermometer for basal temperature so I can track those also and go in with more info.

Fingers crossed we both end up catching soon! It's just ironic that something you are told to be so careful of when you are younger isn't as easy as they made out haha! (of course it's age but it is still funny!)

If you are over 35, the NHS 'should' start tests after 6mth TTC, under 35, its 12mth TTC. During covid times, the wait to see both your Dr, then a specialist will be even longer. I'd never normally condone lying, but if you have already been TTC a few months, I'd be tempted to tell your GP its 6mths TTC already. Worst case, you get pregnant whilst waiting for tests and a specialist, or, you get to see someone in a few months. My GP refused any tests as I was 2weeks off the 12mth waiting time!!! I've now been TTC 10yrs with 3 mc's!

I recommend getting a reusable saliva OPK. I never had luck with urine opks, and buying the each month is expensive. the saliva one is like a tiny microscope and available online. Mine is 'maybe baby' brand but there are others.

Get a 2nd hand version of 'It starts with an Egg' by Rebeccas fett. I got one off ebay for about £5, but do check its the newer version. Some great advice about cutting out certain chemicals which might inhibit pregnancy.

Get the ball rolling with your GP. They might do a day 21 blood test on you, and possibly a semen analysis on DH, but you usually need a specialist referral for further tests like hycosy, AMA etc. You can of course go private, but get what you can on the NHS, if you can. best of luck, and let me know if you have any questions. x

I think the NGS guidance is that you can get tests after trying for 6 months if you’re over 35 and everything is going to be slower because of covid so I agree with @Juno231 to at least get the ball rolling.

I found OPKs and temping to be very helpful, not least as I was actually ovulating 2-3 days later than my tracking app suggested!

I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant with DC3 conceived on our 6th cycle of trying and will be 40 in a couple of weeks. I had my other 2 at 35 and 37. TTC can be a long slog especially for us ahem geriatrics but try not to lose heart. Good luck!

Some great advice above. I agree with Eleoura about getting the book It Starts With The Egg. I found it fascinating and inspiring. It has helped me feel in control and that I'm doing everything I can to increase my chances. They also have a Facebook group which Rebecca Fett is part of. Good luck!

Hiya,
While I wasn’t trying for my first at 38, I did start ttc again at age 37 with a new partner after having 3 dc from a previous relationship.

My dc were all conceived very easily in my 20’s and I naively believed it would be just as easy again.

We started ttc in September 2019 and feel pregnant shortly after. Sadly on New Year’s Day 2020 I miscarried at 9 weeks.

We got our next bfp in March, but miscarried at 6 weeks. Another bfp in June ended with another loss at just under 6 weeks.

Af this point my GP referred us to a fertility consultant for tests. I also had read a lot about ubiquinol and how it can greatly help improve egg quality in older women. So I started taking a 200mg daily dose.

Finally in august we had blood tests, scans and a semen analysis carried out. All results were great. We were told it was likely just down to my age and egg quality.

So we carried on ttc. I turned 38 last year.

I decided to invest in an OvuSense monitor as I knew I could never commit to bbt the regular way. I have broken sleep, wake to use the loo, and just knew I couldn’t do it as accurately as you need to. Ovusense, while pricey, fir me took the worry out of it all. I just popped it in at night when I went to bed, took it out when I got up and synced it to my phone. It measures core body temperature so is even more accurate than bbt as it’s not ever affected by external things such as sleeping outside of the covers, sleeping with your mouth open, or an open window.

Using it was amazing to see when I ovulated and that I actually was ovulating each month. I used opk’s alongside it which always matched up.

I then got my next bfp in November but sadly that too ended in a loss at around 5 weeks.

I honestly thought that all my eggs must just be utterly crap and it would never happen. But this last cycle I used soy isoflavones on days 2-6 to bring my ovulation a little earlier (as I usually ovulate on day 22), it brought it forward to cd14, I then started myself on a 150mg dose of aspirin from my ovulation day. I then got another bfp at 8dpo on 11th January this year.

Immediately I just felt things were different, my tests were strong very early, I had a 2-3 weeks on a digital at 12dpo and things just seemed to progress more than I’d ever experienced with any of the losses.

I had an early scan at 5+5 and we saw a heartbeat which is the best we’ve had so far.
At the EPU they then prescribed me with progesterone pessaries to use until 16 weeks.

I don’t know whether this time is just a decent egg, whether the ubiquinol helped, whether it was taking the aspirin.

But I’m still here and things are looking ok so far. Still very early days and anything can still happen. I won’t ever feel out of the woods. But I wanted to let you know that ttc at 38 is certainly possibly. But I wouldn’t leave anything to chance. Go at it with everything. Take all the supplements. I didn’t ever take a fancy pregnacare or anything. I simply took a high dose folic acid, and a high dose vit d, along with the 200mg ubiquinol.

Good luck! Sorry for the essay 🙈

Thank you for your @Moominmiss for your story.
I'm so sorry for your losses and I'm keeping everything crossed that your current pregnancy continues to go smoothly.
I'm taking all the same vitamins, but haven't tried aspirin after ovulation.
We are only in cycle 1 of TTC but I'm throwing all the supplements at it.

How did you get high dose folic acid? Did you have to speak to the doctor? I am taking two of the regular strength pills from the health shop, but this is no where near the strength you get on prescription.

@cosmicpixiesb as others have said, it's only 6 months TTC if you're over 35.

To illustrate how important it is to get the ball rolling - I started with my standard Day 3 and Day 21 blood tests in July and have yet to see a fertility specialist. My initial appointment was scheduled for 17th of May (although luckily has been brought forward now to 11th of Feb) - but that would basically have meant 10 months of waiting to even be seen about my fertility struggles. At 38 that's not time you want to be wasting, although like I said - it should hopefully not come to that but better be safe than sorry!

@cosmicpixiesb that’s great that you’re already taking the vitamins.

I just bought my high dose folic acid online.
Wasn’t expensive, and my doctor was happy.

I’ve also put my head in to say I agree with everyone saying get the ball rolling. We started when I was 36 and I’ll be 38 in May. It just hasn’t worked for us and due to some shoddy staff at my GP surgery we didn’t know our test results they did after six months weren’t normal. So push for breakdowns of results when you do get them. Will probably have to go the private route if we don’t get a bfp naturally in the next few months now because we’ve lost a chunk of time. Good luck, and you aren’t alone in the this age bracket trying for your first.

I wish I’d figured out when I ovulate etc earlier but I didn’t and I am doing temping now and got a clear blue advanced monitor too which has been good on month one.

Wow that wait is a long time @Juno231. We did our first tests after six months in July/August too. They won’t refer me until I redo tests this week though so I’m kind of giving up on that route and hoping they might do my hycosy at least but maybe not if the wait is more than a couple of months.

I'm pregnant now at almost 36. I personally didnt bother with any fertility apps, ovulation kits, taking temperatures etc. If anything they just add to the stress of TTC. My doctor advised i drink 2-3 cups a day of raspberry leaf tea. Good for the uterus. Worked for me! Good luck!

I would also add like previous poster said that you may need none of this and my friends have all been able to conceive their first or second within a few months at 35-39, my friend who is 39 conceived after a month or so of trying last year, but it is useful to know how the system works imo and then you can get in there if you need to as soon as possible.

Hi @cosmicpixiesb
I just wanted too add to a few others people comments. I'm 38 and 5 weeks pregnant. Started TTC sept 20 and like you thought it might not happen at our age. For months before I did all the research, then started on vitamins the SMEP plan and tracked ovulation with CB sticks and used concieve plus. When AF arrived again over christmas i was more than upset and my fella commented on how stressful it all was for both of us (he has a 6 yr old from previous marriage who lives with us full time too)
So when toasting the new year in we decided to take a few months off and just be us without any pressure, low and behold got my BFP.
So i know it's way easier said than done but don't underestimate how much your stress can affect TTC, i'm not saying don't get the ball rolling with your GP but perhaps also try and work out your usual ovulation days, then give yourself a month or too off tracking and see what happens

Thank you all so much for taking the time to come back to me - sorry for delay in getting back on here. Honestly you have made me feel sane again! I'm sorry to those who have lost and thank you for taking the time to share your stories.

• My doctors do not seem to be booking in regular appointments at the moment - I will book something as soon as I can but does anyone know how much a private appointment will cost?

• I have now used Clear Blue Digital Ovulation Kit and today I had the flashing smiley face - almost a week before my app would have predicted anything! I am hoping then that we just have not been truly hitting the correct days and this might be really good for us :-)

Thanks again ladies - feeling so much more positive today!

hi @cosmicpixiesb hope all is well!
i am 38 and ttc# 2, never been pregnant before. i came across this thread, how did the tests with NHS go?