Firstly, hi everyone and I'm really sorry for the long post. I don't know what I'm trying to achieve by writing this, or even what I want to gain out of it but I feel like I just need to do a brain dump..
My husband and I have a DS who's 6, we're so lucky to have him as we were informed 8 years ago the chances of a natural pregnancy was slim because of scarring so implantation is limited. Anyway, he's our 'miracle' and we're just obsessed with him. After we got married in 2018 we decided to try again, we achieved it once so we had faith. We were so lucky and fell within a couple of months. That pregnancy felt weird, I can't explain it but I just didn't feel pregnant, I had a early reassurance scan at 7 and 8 weeks and everything was fine. I went for my consultant app at 12+2 (due to previously having part of my cervix removed following the removal of CIN3 cells) which was 2 days before my 12 week scan and I explained to her that I didn't feel pregnant. She decided to scan me there and then and unfortunately we had suffered a MMC at 10+3 weeks. We were gutted.
From that point on we decided that we were lucky enough to have DS so we put it to the back of our head about having any more. Recently we've decided that we would like to try again and see if we can fall.
My confidence in falling pregnant is low & now I find myself so paranoid about having another MC with a future pregnancy. I'm telling myself I'm not going to become obsessed but here I am on here already 😂.. why is it I was and have been so happy with the thought of being a family of 3 for the last 2.5 years but now all I want and can think about is another child.
Anyway; if you've got this far thank you for reading. There's nothing anyone can do or say, I'm aware of that, just wanted to write down my thoughts.
Take care x