Egg freeze, the big question!

[LuLuLu85]

Hello, I'm new to this forum - this is my first post.

I'm in a new relationship, and my boyfriend has expressed (in very abstract terms i.e not in relation to "us") that he is really looking forward to being a dad and having a big family in the future.

I have always wanted a family of my own, but saw this as something for the future. I have put a lot of energy into building my dream career, living an independent and fulfilling life and really learning to like and accept myself. Pregnancy or talk of starting a family has never come up with past partners. I am age 35 and he is 6 years my junior, we are by no means ready to start a family, but it has got me thinking.

I had some fertility tests done, in the hope the data would help me feel empowered and less anxious about our age gap. I have 28 follicles and AMH 26.3. I have been told that this makes me a good candidate for egg freezing. To my mind, this feels like quite an extreme measure and a very expensive one at that, but equally I hate the idea of feeling forced into making a choice or realising I have no choice.

I'm looking for solidarity or advice from any others out there in similar situations. Or in hope that this post might reach someone else going through the same thing. The pandemic has definitely got me thinking about the bigger life picture!

If you’d definitely like children one day and can afford it, then I’d go for it.

I would go for it if you want children in the future, being 35 you will know that your fertility will start to decline (like it does for all women) and if something happens where you aren't able to conceive naturally you have a back up

The only other thing I'd say is that egg freezing has poor results compared to freezing embryos. Would your OH be willing to do that or do you not want to limit yourself to having specifically his kids?

thank you all for such quick responses!

@Juno231
I think the reason for freeze would be to allow space for the relationship to develop naturally without the pressure of baby clock, so I don't know if embryo would be the right thing for me.

@Missreginafalange
Yes, the thought of the decline is a scary one. If you remove eggs to freeze as a back up, does this lessen your chance of conceiving naturally?

If you remove eggs to freeze as a back up, does this lessen your chance of conceiving naturally?

I’m not a doctor, but I’ve had IVF and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. The hormone treatment and egg retrieval surgery do carry some risk of complications though. But they weren’t enough to put me off.

Your AMH and follicle count (I’m assuming these were antral follicles) are far better than mine were at 35. That’s really good, but as egg quality gradually declines with age, egg freezing should ideally be done before 30. I know that’s not a very helpful thing to say, but it might mean that another option would give you a better chance of pregnancy.

It’s difficult to work out the success rates of egg freezing. The old slow freezing technique has recently been replaced by vitrification and it’s thought that this will improve future success rates. Also, many women never return to the clinic to use their eggs, so data regarding birth rates is limited.

Unfortunately, it’s normal (although not inevitable), to lose eggs at each stage of the process. So, not all frozen eggs survive the thaw, not all surviving eggs fertilise, not all fertilised eggs become blastocysts and not all blastocysts implant successfully. No one can say how many eggs are “enough” to give you a baby, so egg freezing is an extra chance rather than an insurance policy.

It's an idea as a back up, but freezing eggs doesn't seem that reliable for all the reasons @Cattenberg points out. You would likely need a lot to make it worthwhile because so many are lost during the process, and until you try to fertilize them, there's no way of knowing how successful it's likely to be. If you did freeze eggs, I certainly wouldn't allow it to give you a false sense of security.

You have great numbers though! Better than mine at 36 (I had IVF - 27 eggs and 10 made it to blast which is an awesome result). You just don't know how well the fertilisation process will work, sadly.