Desperate to TTC but not sure when is right

[SpottyDotty99]

DP and I are desperate for a baby. We spend ages talking about it every night before bed, talking about baby names, birth options, fertility. It's become a bit of an obsession to be honest. I think because we have no other distractions - both WFH, we have nothing to do other than plan the future. I feel like we'd be far less broody if Covid wasn't a thing, and we could go on days out and date night etc. But at the moment we have no other distractions.

I have a 4 year old from a previous (short lived) relationship who loves DP, who has no kids. DP is 35, ten years older than me, and wants at least 2 children, and he keeps panicking there's something wrong with him and that we should start trying in case it takes many months/years as he doesn't want to be an 'old' dad - I've told him how silly this is and that he's still young etc.

Ideally we'd love to have a child mid 2022, when hopefully Covid's impact has lessened, but not sure whether to start trying now and 'see what happens' or try to deal with the broodiness and wait.

Just wondering if anyone else is all-consumed with the idea of TTC and whether you can relax or it just continues!?

I think when the obsession starts it won't go and you will have to 'see what happens'... that's my experience anyway! :)

We planned to start in Feb/March last year but then obviously the pandemic hit so we postponed it for a month or two, started TTC (seeing what happens) in May and got pregnant straight away after DTD twice.. unfortunately was MMC so back TTC again

I don't think once it is in your head that you will be able to put it off for over a year, but you might be stronger than me!

You will never regret trying, but you might regret not doing.. good luck whatever you decide xx

Agree with PP- I had a month off anything baby related after my last mc. Like a full body rejection (mental and physical) of baby things.

A week or two ago I started toying with the idea of ttc again. Since then we’ve stopped using protection and I re-started prenatals. Also bought DP some fertility pills and got the green light from hospital. My hCG is still dropping from the last pregnancy but it’s under 5 so we’re good to go!

I’ve also been obsessed. We already have names from previous pregnancies that didn’t stick and just yesterday I was looking at baby clothes. It’s real obsession isn’t!!

I’d go for it now tbh, based on your timeframe there’s not much in it anyway? If it took you 4 months to get pregnant you’d be due in March 2022 which isn’t miles off your original time frame.

I got pregnant in December 2019 and had DD in August, it’s been really shit to be honest. But I don’t think we can ever know what’s around the corner and life is for living, if you’re both super broody then I’d take the plunge. Plus if you want 2 DC with DP then unless you had 2 in quick succession he’d be what, 39 for the last one at a minimum? My DH’s line in the sand was that he wanted to be done with newborns by the time he was 40 which tbh is fair (even ignoring the pregnancy bit I’m not sure I’d have the energy for sleepless nights after 40!)

Only thing to bear in mind I guess is whether you have any plans to get married and where that fits in, but that obviously depends on your own personal situation

Thank you for your responses! I really appreciate it. I think you're right about the broodiness not going away. We started discussing having children 4 months ago and it's just grown and grown ever since.

It's so strange because after a traumatic birth with my first, and then the very quick relationship breakdown with exDP, I swore I'd never have any more kids or meet another man. Then I met DP and it was like immediately everything changed.

So sorry to those of you who've experienced MC