Scared to tell people

[AIC2015]

Hi guys,

When I had my first baby at 21 I was kicked out my house, my boyfriend left me, my didn't have any support and was it surrounded by negativity. 6 years later I got my 1st class Biomedical Science degree, have a research job in the nhs, I'm renting a lovely house and my and my boyfriend are back together (he fell in love with our daughter when he met her at 2 days old and grew up a lot). I'm now 27 and ready for a baby! I've been really looking forward to being able to have another.

Now my period is late and the feeling of being utterly terrified has hit me. I'm terrified my boyfriend will leave me, scared my family are gonna think I'm stupid and I'm worried about the attention being pregnant brings. (I was really insecure last time and couldn't talk about my baby, wore black because I thought it would hide my bump)

Please can you give me any advice on how to be more confident, how to put how I'm feeling before how anyone else might feel, how to love how my body might change?

I've wanted this for so long but I just think I'm more traumatised than I realised from my first baby please don't judge me

I was exactly the same as you. So excited to have another one then when I saw that blue line, absolutely panic and dread. But I soon got over it and others negativity just made me more determined. Unfortunately I did end up being a single mum again but I coped before and knew I could cope again. Give it a few days and you’ll feel much better about it.

@AIC2015 oh sweetie 😞 it’s no wonder your scared after all you went through with your first. Given that your BF left you last time it’s perfectly understandable you’d think he’s gonna do the same thing. I assume though that this time it was planned and you were both TTC as a joint decision though?
The main thing to remember, is that should the worst happen, you’ve done this before. Your in a much better position that you were last time financially and in terms of job security etc.
The best thing at this stage is to tell your BF asap. Leaving it longer will create an issue of trust between you which has been a delicate area in the past. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

@aic2015
I had a similar situation i wasn't kicked out i was 20 my boyfriend (22) left me. I didn't have a good job. I'm now married to him and we are TTC no 2. I'm almost 30 he's 32, people change.. yes I'm married and still have scared thoughts itll happen again but I'm stronger now, I was so weak before makes me cringe. I know i can survive on my wage on my own even with 2 kids. No room for luxurys but I'd survive. It doesn't ever leave you when your abandoned at such a fragile time in life. Yes I'm over it now but I'll never forget. But I know i don't NEED anyone I WANT him and there's a big difference. You've been through this before you're a strong woman. And chances are its not gonna happen again.. he was young as was my then boyfriend good luck xx

I think just allow some time to adjust to the idea. If you are pregnant you don't have to tell anyone straight away. Once your boyfriend knows again you don't have to tell other people - lockdown helps with this.