Is it normal to feel this gutted this early?

[Lass67]

We have only been trying since November and to be fair it’s took a bit to get back into regular cycles since having coil out. Last week I misread a pregnancy test and thought it was positive but 5 minutes later realised my mistake. Period came at the weekend.

Today in Aldi doing my shopping I turned to the side only to see a ‘New Mama kit’ surrounded by baby things and I just felt like crying.

I haven’t tracked ovulation and I want to but DH is saying it’s a bit early in the process to be doing those things- I guess I want to be reassured we are actually doing it at the right time and I’m ovulating.

The other thing is my BMI is 35...I was trying to lose weight and then got stuck in a post Christmas hole of eating biscuits and feeling sorry for myself stuck in when it’s constant sleet. I bought a cheap exercise bike but it was jerky and shit so took it back. Now I feel really guilty that we can’t have a baby because I’m such a fat pig.

I was so excited to start this and knew it could take a while, am I overreacting this early in? Should I start tracking ovulation? I know I need to lose weight.

@Lass67 hello! Firstly, you shouldn't feel like this at all!
So you know you need to lose weight. Try thinking of it as doing this for something you really really want which is a baby. And don't say you'll start tomorrow or next week, start now. You can do it, and all of those small steps will make such a massive difference to how you feel. Hopefully making you feel more positive. You really can do it 🙌🏼

I know how you feel about seeing everything baby!! I also went to aldi and the whole middle aisle was full of baby things. Everywhere I look, any tv show I'm watching, there's baby things or someone is pregnant, it's honestly very frustrating and feels like it's all a sign haha.

This is my first cycle this time around of TTC and I didn't use an OPK but after speaking to a lot of people on here, they recommend the clear blue kits which I will buy for next month as I can feel AF making an appearance in the coming days.

You're only just starting to TTC, a lot of women on here have been TTC for over a year and they're still so positive about it and full of advice, please don't feel disheartened. I would suggest tracking O in your next cycle and see how you get on, till then, please try and stay positive about this and try to enjoy the experience, as stressful as it is!! xx

I used the clue app and we fell pregnant the first month of using it. No harm in downloading and just logging symptoms and dates. If nothing else it gives you helpful reminders like 'pms is coming'

@Lass67
I think if you want to start tracking ovulation, you should. I understand for your DH it may seem like you’re taking it too seriously or trying too hard, but if you explain to him you’re simply checking that you’re ovulating and just want to get an idea of when it happens, I’m sure he’ll understand.

If you feel OPK is too much at this stage, learn how to check your CM. This is a good indicator, as OPK will only show your LH surge and not necessarily if you have ovulated or not, only that your body is ready to ovulate.

Try not to be so hard on yourself with your weight. Do small things at a time, try not to make it all about weight. Do little things that will make you feel better, like start drinking more water through the day. Each time you go shopping, buy a different kind of fruit. Pineapple is good to eat around ovulation so tuck into that instead of biscuits. I know it doesn’t hit the same spot as biscuits do, but knowing you’re doing your body good for your future baby may spur you on to stick at it. Go for a local walk, don’t put pressure on yourself to buy exercise equipment which will only make you feel guilty for not using if you end up not using it as much. Make smaller meal portions for yourself. Do 10 squats a day whilst you wait for the kettle to boil.

Honestly, small things over time rather than big changes in one go is perhaps a better approach?

Good luck xx

I don't think there's any harm in buying an ovulation kit. Even very fertile people wouldn't necessarily conceive in the first two months so it's far far too soon to be anxious. Try and make small changes to your diet. And take vitamins even for the placebo effect. Hope things happen soon.

@Lass67 definitely start using the clear blue it really gives peace of mind you’re maximising your days properly. I don’t always tell my husband when it’s peak etc, and to be honest sometimes we probably don’t it enough, however doing it every day just isn’t our style. I use the clear blue ones, and really easy to use no reading graphs etc - I’m not sure I could personally do all that but appreciate the clear blue ones are expensive. I use once a day and keep to that. I fell pregnant in my second cycle using, sadly MC at 7 weeks but I definitely thought I was ovulating later than I actually was, so before I started using we weren’t even doing it at the right time. Once I knew this and could focus on the right window in a strange way it made me feel better.

@Lass67 I think my bmi is more! And I have just got my positive. So do not beat yourself up about being overweight

@Lass67 I feel the same as you, started trying in November too! I am now in my third cycle and feel gutted nothing has happened. Each month I am taking vitamins, cutting caffeine and tracking ovulation using clear blue (I highly recommend this and use a tracking app too).

I try to look on the positive side that each month we don't conceive is a month longer we can save for maternity. It is really hard though as the months are ticking by fast and being young I thought I'd catch quite quickly.

It also helped to really look into everything that has to happen for a successful pregnancy. You have to have sex at the right time, you have to ovulate that cycle, the egg has to fertilise (be healthy) and making it all the way to implantation. Things often fail at implantation and then equally between implantation and your period. Lots of factors have to be just right, I try to remember this when I feel down about it.

I've been trying since June 2020. I'm not overweight, run 20-30 miles a week, I'm 31 and nothing. We're testing for infertility now. His results came back fine so I think I'm the problem and I have been told before that I have cysts on my ovaries. I get my results back on Weds .

@NatMoz good luck for Wednesday xx