Pregnancy jealousy

[Sweetk0987poiu]

So we’ve been trying for a while now and no success and then our friends has just announced to us they’re pregnant which is amazing news but it did feel like I got punched in the stomach 😩 Ive obviously said my congratulations and then they said they weren’t trying and I just burst into tears behind the screen like an idiot hahaha. How do you let go of this jealously I hate feeling any resentment 😔

My best friend told me she was pregnant after not trying today too. So happy for her but it really hurt that it wasn’t me announcing my pregnancy, which makes me feel awful cause I know it’s something she’s wanted too x

I had similar yesterday with my best friend telling me she is pregnant. I am in the middle of a miscarriage so I did feel very sorry for myself and had little choice over those feelings 😭😭😭 But I am happy for her and she has been very sensitive to me - I even feel like she feels guilty which mortified me as her news should be nothing but joyful. I think we need to go easy on ourselves and any pangs of jealousy - let them come and let them go x

I posted about this recently too, it's really hard and I don't doubt you're genuinely happy for your friend. Be prepared for it to hurt when they have their first scan/gender scan, photo's of the nursery prep etc. Its exciting and heart breaking all at once but it's perfectly normal to feel that way. You're still a good friend

What always helps me is knowing that when it's all over for them and settled down maybe their baby is now 5 months old, it'll be your turn, the excitement the announcement the gender reveal, scan pics, the birth, new baby.. and they'll probably think aww i wish that was me again. It'll soon be your turn. Obviously having a baby is nice but the excitement wares off. My DD is 9 now I'm not 'excited' anymore lol its just normal life. Xx

Those comments are lovely 🥺 looks like the Covid baby boom is affecting us all lol! Baby dust to us all 🌈✨

Hopefully you'll get your good news soon, OP. How long have you been trying?

I cried when my younger brother announced the same when I hadn’t even been allowed to start trying yet (OH wasn’t into it at the time). But you do get over it and it makes the good news even better when you do finally get there. Never worry about allowing yourself to be sad though x

I’ve been trying with years so I can totally relate. Each announcement just compounds my sense of failure. I’d love to be able to be all uber cool and gush with delight for them but my initial, private, reaction is jealousy and upset that it’s not me. Deep down I am really happy for them, my reaction is purely selfish and no reflection on the couple. I’m always sooo appreciative of getting the news by txt, no one has to see my red eyes and hear my sniffles

Sorry I don't have too much advice but have been through this exact same thing. You shouldn't feel guilty for how you feel because your emotions are valid since your friends are pregnant and you want something they have so don't be hard on yourself.
I would say fake it until you make it, if you act happy and not upset you're more likely to be able to bear it.
If its upsetting you to the point it's making you cry, take some time out for yourself, possibly spend less time around your friends or try to focus on other things when they talk about pregnancy even though this sounds like a selfish suggestion, it's unfair to yourself to keep putting yourself through pain especially if you have suffered a miscarriage or been trying for a long time, I'm sure your friends will understand or be willing to take this into account, e.g. talk about pregnancy less when you are with them, being honest can help.
Just try to accept the situation and think that it will happen for you too some day and you would want them to be happy for you. That's all I can really think of xx

@TTCPLEASE

What always helps me is knowing that when it's all over for them and settled down maybe their baby is now 5 months old, it'll be your turn, the excitement the announcement the gender reveal, scan pics, the birth, new baby.. and they'll probably think aww i wish that was me again. It'll soon be your turn. Obviously having a baby is nice but the excitement wares off. My DD is 9 now I'm not 'excited' anymore lol its just normal life. Xx

I love thinking of it this way! Feel this is going to massively help my mindset :)