Anyone else waiting until after Covid to TTC?

[mamaofone26]

Hi, first time poster but been lurking since I was pregnant with DD1. DD is 20 months and I'm so broody! I want a relatively small age gap so would love to start trying asap. Unfortunately DH has other ideas. He has agreed he'd like another but his condition is we wait until the pandemic is over, which is fair even though my broodiness can't be tamed I was just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat so we can wait together? It feels torturous not knowing when it'll come to an end (I know covid isn't going anywhere but I mean when things are back to mostly normal). Thank you for reading!

Hi probably not what you want to hear but we had those thoughts OP back in summer last year about waiting but then decided to just go for it because there was no guarantee we'd fall pregnant straight away. We were very lucky with DD1 and fell first time lucky.

7 months on and although I've conceived twice they've gone on to be miscarriages. It would be great in an ideal world if you could time age gaps, birthdays etc but you can't, I'd say just go for it 😊

I am 37 so time is not my friend as I am 38 in May and have a 7 year old. My husband is desperate for another and I alresdy put him off after the last lock down and said I would try this month but I am so scared because I know so many currently with covid who are not in hospital but are at home with worst flu they ever had and they are all my age and fit. I think I may wait until next month see how things are in feb. Pregnancy and covid sounds absolutely rotten

@bez91 I'm so sorry to hear of your losses 

I'm definitely more in the frame of mind that it could take a while to conceive, DH thinks it'll happen straight away as we got very lucky with DD and fell pregnant the first month.

@universal83 it's so difficult isn't it! Waiting is such a hard decision but the alternative is worrying too. Hard to know what to do for the best!

I'm trying not to pester DH by bringing it up, I was so happy when he said he'd be happy to start trying once we go back to normal but now that feels like a lifetime away. Wish we could just choose a month so at least I could countdown until we start trying. It would be so difficult if after waiting it took a long time to conceive.

@mamaofone26 is age a factor? If not maybe wait till spring but if you have fertility concerns or worries about it taking a while maybe have another convo.

I'm different because I am not mega broody or desperate for another just more we do not want to regret not trying but I'm not too worried if if never happened. So my situation and desire is very different.

Maybe chat to partner and meet half way. It looks like this will be a lockdown till April at the earliest so maybe decide to try around then it is only 3 months away. We will never go back to normal now sadly so waiting till it is over will not happen x x

@universal83 no very lucky that age isn't a factor, I'm 27. However fertility issues run in my family, no idea if they're genetic but it still worries me, it took my mum 5 years to conceive me and the pregnancy & birth nearly killed her. She never managed to get pregnant again, though for her health that was probably a blessing. I had a high risk pregnancy with DD as a result though thankfully I had no issues. I can't help but have it in the back of my head that DD was a one off stroke of luck. Yes I'm hoping DH will settle for once lockdown is over and not likely to return, at least not properly. I'm personally aiming for September with a quiet hope it'll be sooner. I don't want to rush DH and this will be my last pregnancy (if all goes as planned) so I want to enjoy it without too much worry or restrictions.

I think some summer time when the vaccines are well under way and there is sunshine and more positivity hubby will be more on board for you :) everything is gloomy at the moment and I can see why he is hesitant. He may be worrying about job stability etc. I bet he comes around though when things are a bit brighter:) x

@universal83 thank you, it's definitely my hope. I'm sure things will work out with you too! This whole baby thing sure is stressful haha x

We’ve just gone for it. I figure it’s pretty likely things will mostly be back to normal by the time baby arrives, and if they aren’t then I’ll deal with it. If it was my first baby I’d be more concerned about being alone for scans, etc and about missing out on things during mat leave but I’m feeling a bit more pragmatic about it as it’s the second.

What is it specifically that your DH is concerned about?

@mamaofone26 I understand where your DH is coming from. My other half had the same thoughts and wanted to wait until after Covid. He was concerned about appointments and that I wouldn’t get the support whilst Covid is happening, like ante natal classes, support groups, emergency appointments, and then after care being available once baby arrives.
But we talked over a couple of month at the end of last year. Life is too short to put things on hold in my opinion, you can’t plan everything as PP said, so go for it!
Try and talk through how you feel about it with your DH, best of luck to you xx

I am only more cautious because of my age I know my miscarriage risk is high and ectopic risk and if I needed a d and c or op i could not cope going in alone because I am a massive woman child! I say if you are really wanting this then go for it hun as soon as he is ready