TTC stress causing problems!

[Poniesandgin]

Does anyone else feel like TTC has caused problems in their relationship?
I’ve gone slightly crazy and can’t seem to stop myself. We are on cycle 10 now of actively TTC using strips and tracking and nothing. Not even a hint of anything.

I can’t pinpoint ovulation exactly, it’s anything from day 15-19 according to ovulation sticks. The pressure to DTD so much has made me obsess I’m missing the dates and it’s made sex forced. Now DH is not really wanting to do it at all and keeps making excuses which is making me angrier and so the cycle continues. I’ve tried everything to make sure we hit the dates but even when we have done it every week still not pregnant. It seems like as soon as O is approaching DH is too tired or something like that which is infuriating.

We moved to a bigger house for more Dc and it all feels very pointless now looking at the empty rooms. I know first world problems but still.

Every month AF comes and I try not to stress again but then as soon as O is coming up it’s all I can think about again. The stress of getting older, age gap getting bigger (DC is 5!!), why is it not happening. DH just keeps saying let it happen yet it isn’t happening and this is what’s making it worse and I want to kill him when he says that

I’ve spoken to him and he 100% wants more children, but he hates having to have sex at certain times. We tried to just do it whenever we wanted for a few months but only managed it once in the fertile window that way if we were lucky.

I’ve been researching prices for getting fertility treatment just because it hasn’t happened but even that sounds crazy considering I don’t even know there’s anything wrong.

My friends who started at the same time are almost due and other friends are pregnant within a month. I know it’s different for everyone but it’s so frustrating as I don’t know why and we can’t afford private testing to find out why. With corona I’m not even sure testing would be done and as we already have one DC we wouldn’t be a priority anyway.

Not sure what I’m expecting from this post but feels better to write it somewhere or I may just explode!

Hi @Poniesandgin didnt want to read and run. Sorry your feeling this way I have all those feelings but tend to keep them to myself. I've used opks but more secretly lol I've said think I'm in my fertile week and just left it at that, most of the time not mentioning it.
My hubby and I are both gutted when each month af arrives but I tend to research everything more alone this seems to help not put any pressure on DTD. I think men dont realise how it all completely works 🙄😂.
Totally understand the stress of getting older and the age gap between other children growing older my youngest is now 10! It was a big decision for us to decide to ttc again but one we both wanted.
We always regretted not havin any more and thought let's go for it!!
Wish u all the best on your ttc journey 💫

I would just not mention it because men have feelings too (believe it or not 😉) and even though they promise they won't get fed up of sex they do expecially if they think you're only using them for sperm. Try turning it other way round you would feel used. I know you both want it to happen and quite frankly as long as I'm getting sperm in me I dont really care if it last 30 seconds but men do. They need to feel important try a romantic date night dont mention ov, tests, TTC and just have normal sex 🤣🤣. I dont mention dates at all to my DH because I know he will be pissed off and may even withdraw from having sex. I've had to grit my teeth when hes too tired or wants a BJ. But that's life. I hope it happens soon. Baby dust to you xx

Thankyou to both of you
Fingers crossed to you too.

We have argued all of this week so this month is another write off just fed up of it all now and I’m getting more and more desperate which is making more problems.

We aren’t a couple to argue normally but he seems to know as soon as it’s ‘the week’ and he suddenly gets too tired or has a headache. That’s meant to be my trick!

I wouldn’t ever say anything to anyone in real life so I thought this was the only place to get it out!

I think maybe I need a few months off before I go crazy from it all

Don't take time off just dont monitor it and you know what, I bet it'll just happen 🤣🤣

@Poniesandgin ...its so hard as sometimes the whole ttc can consume you. I find its especially hard at the min with lockdown as theres nothing else to focus on, my life at the min is so different from normal I have to much time to think!!
I read through a post on hear 8months ttc and there are so many ladies in same position really helped me relax and chill out, might be worth a read...defo agree with @TTCNO2PLEASE dont give up just maybe stop monitoring
Good luck
P.s the bj thing made me laugh 😂😂

@Pip1903 🤣🤣🤣 I was fuming when he asked for one luckily there was a low chance of getting pregnant anyway so I did it. But if it happens again on ov day I'll be saying hell no aint wasting that baby juice 😆😆😆 gotta keep them happy coz id be devastated if he didn't want to do it on my days

This is what’s happened to me this week.

We did it loads on useless days and this week has come up and he’s worked late, had a headache, had a bad stomach and then felt too tired
Wasted the whole fertile window with his moaning but I bet next week he is back to normal!

@TTCNO2PLEASE that's brilliant defo dont waste the juice 😂
@Poniesandgin just wondering what opks do u use? I've tried the IC but only ever see a rise never a peak. I've started today using clearblue had EWCM yday but test blank this morning will keep going with it. Worry I'm not ovulating at all!
I'm only CD7 but have short cycles 22-25 days
Hope u manage to BD at some point this week 🤞
Just pounce on him !
Why do men have to be so awkward 😂

We had the chat and he said knowing he has to do it is putting too much pressure on and putting him off.
I’ve said I’ll try and not make it so obvious but how when I want to have sex 5 days in a row

I’ve been using internet cheapies too and never got a peak until I randomly tested late at night and there it was! I usually just start once it’s pretty dark but not necessarily as dark as the other line if that makes sense?

I have really long cycles so it makes the wait worse!

@Pip1903 I know when you're not TTC theyre always horny or prodding you with their little morning stiffy as soon as you want them theyre turn into monks 🤣🤣🤣 fuckin men wish women could just self impregnate we do everything else ourself anyway 🙈🤣🤣🤣

Are you tracking your BBT too? I did that alongside the ovulation testing - I would recommend splashing out if you can and using the clear blue digital ovulation tracker - comes with an app etc. I found it really accurate. Good luck

@Poniesandgin...unless u just have sex every other day for whole month (sounds tiring tho) 🙄😂 ...that's good you've managed to have a chat...hope your feeling better...even every other day in Fw should be enough!
That's interesting with the opks maybe i wasn't testing enough ...I'm terrible at holding too 😂 that's why I've gone for the clearblue as FMU seems so much easier!
What day are you in your cycle now?
I feel so much more relaxed week after fertile week then the terrible symptom spotting starts 😂...I somehow convince myself every month I must be preggers 🙄😂 x

@TTCNO2PLEASE omg that is sooo true! we are independent women ..the one job we need them for and they let us down 😂😂

@Pip1903 I know 🤣🤣 well he has just informed me he's working away for 2 weeks from the 1st Feb! My predicted day of OV is Sun 31st Jan so I will be DTD most days until 31st as its better to do before ovulation rather than after and i can't anyway he won't be here day after i OV. Just gonna try and be as candid as I can coz i can't risk him having a 'headache' the week he's actually here 🙈🙈i think if I try and cover mon wed Fri Sun it should be OK & not too suspicious 👌 🤣🤣

@TTCNO2PLEASE typical 😂...least he there before defo a good chance 🤞...the working away seems like bliss tho esp after job done 👍...I'm a terrible wife 🤣🤣🤣

@Pip1903 oh hes changed it to next week and week after now so I'm out this month before I've even started 🙈🙈 wonder if I can request a sample and buy a turkey baster 🤔🤔🤣🤣🤣

This thread has made me laugh. Thanks everyone
I’m CD16, might still be in with a chance tonight but he isn’t looking up for it so far

Who would have thought a man would need convincing!

@Poniesandgin aww just jump him love, get that seed 🤣🤣🤣 fingers crossed for a BFP! Ill be waiting until March now he's bloody away 🙈 xx

It’s not so easy- we have a child co sleeping
Since we moved to a bigger house he will not sleep alone but that’s a nightmare story for another time!!

Makes any sex very planned as we don’t even have a quick 5mins before he comes in from school with lockdown and homeschooling. Why did I think more kids would be a good idea anyway

@TTCNO2PLEASE turkey baster sounds like a plan 🤔🤣...aw gutted for you ...just think tho he will be well up for it when he home 😜
@Poniesandgin that made me laugh I think that ...what am I thinking starting over🤣🤣
As they get older you have to become more sneaky esp as my oldest nearly 14 so awkward 😳😂
Ladies had to tell someone CD 9 and first flashing smile ...I'm was so excited 😂😂...this ttc I'm sure u slightly lose the plot too!!

Oh my days... THIS! 🤣

I thought I was going out of my mind that my husband didn't want to sleep with me!

Well at least I wont have to suffer the TWW this week! 🤬