*Ahem* performance anxiety

[Oresome]

Bit of a delicate one here but looking for some advice.

DH and I have been trying for getting on for two years. We are seeing specialists, have had all the tests (which showed that DH had a low count) and have to make a decision before our next consultant appointment whether to press ahead with IVF/ICSI (I think that we will). I miscarried at 9 weeks last year too.

All this has taken its toll on DH and things are not ‘happening down below’ as he would want. I am due to ovulate in the next three days or so and this is the last month before we see the specialist. We’ve kept things very light, not made a big deal of it, said “oh well, perhaps it will be easier tomorrow” etc but it is still a problem and keeps happening. DH is really upset and frustrated (!)

Does anyone have any tips for trying to reduce the stress in this situation?

My OH had this when we were TTCing our 1st. He actually went to the GP and they gave him a open prescription for Viagra (i thought it was unusual as we were fairly young back then!), and referred him to some online cbt. He did a little bit of the mindfulness stuff, but really we just had to be open and do alot of communicating. We had a "month off" where he umm.. "focused on me", so there was no pressure atall to perform, and literally the cycle after we concieved our DS1! Keep talking, keep being intimate. There is a thread on here somewhere i think its the "turkey baster club" or something, and there is lots of couples on there who.. "deposit goods" elsewhere and then 'self-inseminate', so that could always be an option?

I hope you get your BFP soon, one way or another, goodluck!