Confused.com about periods!

[Frostyblue20]

Feeling a little lost and hubby not really sure why I'm worrying so much...so needed someone to vent to and ended up here!

I came off the pill around 20 months ago (coincided with getting married so I could get my body ready for ttc). I had a long 3 or so months with no period but finally started having them, with pretty long cycles (between 40-50 days) but then I settled down to between 30-35 days, which was great! We finally decided to start ttc in November and Sod's law my cycles have been crap since...48 days and now I'm on cd 42 with no sign of AF. The only thing I can thing that has changed is using vitamins and taking folic acid. I have blood tests at the doctors next week (I know I'm very lucky they are seeing me this early on). All pregnancy tests are negative. My question is - I suspect pcos as I have bad skin, some weight gain around my middle and now the long cycles but why would my cycles have changed so suddenly after being totally normal? Would it be pcos in this case? I'm just feeling totally rubbish - I can deal with the negative pregnancy tests but not knowing where I am in my cycle is upsetting me and I feel like we can't get our ttc journey off the ground...

Any words of wisdom or advice appreciated x

I dont have any info but just wanted to say irregular cycles suck and I am sorry. If it helps, one option is to have sex every 2 days from end of AF until next AF. That would mean even if your cycles are haywire, you wont miss ovulation!

Thank you so much for your response. It's the uncertainty of not knowing when my next cycle will start, I am so desperate for a baby :( but know I need to be patient. We had sex every 2-3 days but we've sort of got lazy now as feel like there's no egg to catch this month...maybe we should get back on it! :)

Best advice I've heard is just to enjoy life aka sex and try to forget about ttc, if you have unprotected sex regularly (and frequently) most women conceive within 6-12 months, it's certainly not the first month or two for many. The pressure causes so much anxiety, try not to think about it (apart from vitamins and avoiding alcohol) I know easier said than done but carefree sex is a thing of the past once you have kids so don't miss the opportunity now!

I have no idea about PCOS and I’m really sorry that you’re going through this stressful time. I watched this video on it as I was trying to lose weight and it might be worth a look and discussing with your doctor:

I have irregular cycles too so I feel your pain. Took just under 2 years from coming off pill to have DD and I've been trying for No2 for 6 months so far. I had all the investigations etc and all came back fine so there's no reason for mine other than its just the way my body is! I can have a 33 day cycle one month then a 50+ the next. It really is a rollercoaster. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk it through x

Hi, this is my story exactly. Long cycles, PCOS type presentation...the things that help are:

Low sugar/low carb diet
Taking high dose vitamin B6 (in a Vit b compound is best)

I did this each time I tried to conceive, and managed 3x, although with big gaps (DC are 9, 6, 2).

It’s hard to sustain low carb for long, so I’d do it for about a month, have a period and start doing OPK sticks from day 6, leaping on the ovulation that would happen around day 11 incase I couldn’t keep up the low carb and didn’t get another ovulation for a while.

I did find that if I didn’t maintain the low carb for a while, along with the B6, I was more likely to have a short luteal phase (when you start spotting in the second half of the cycle ahead of your period and any “pregnancy” will not stick or implant).

Long cycles are unlikely to result in pregnancy -35 days plus is usually anovulatory (no ovulation) so you really do need to see what you can do to shorten the cycle. The higher my weight and the worse my diet, the longer my cycle is.

Thank you for all of your messages so far - I feel a little lighter already having got it off my chest. It's hard speaking to my other half as he just tells me to chill and thinks I'm upset because I don't have a baby yet - only partly true, I'm more upset by my lack of periods at the moment! Whoever thought I would actually want my period to come!

@movingonup20 we did pretty well with dtd every other day, we are still doing it frequently (maybe every 3 days now) but need to try a bit harder I think...!

@Brown76 thank you so much for the video, I will definitely take a look!

@Littlepoppet1 were you still ovulating with your irregular cycles? And did you check this by testing/temping? I tried temping but just couldn't get into the rhythm of it and not 100% sure my thermometer was even accurate!

@Ramblingwords this is really helpful, thank you. Really pleased to hear you managed to have 3 DC :) I am assuming the worst with my mind going into overdrive. The only thing is that I looked into vitamin b6 and saw that it can actually lengthen cycles, with mine being so long already would this help? That is my worry, that I'm not ovulating at all...didn't do any tracking of ovulation this month though apart from cervical mucus so can't say for sure! I had 3 patches of ew cervical mucus over about 14 days.

Thanks. I never thought I’d be on the other side of this with 3 D.C. My early posting history on mumsnet will be all about my infertility and fears about being childless!

I think the b vitamins would be more likely to regulate your cycle to something functional. Folk who use B6 to “lengthen” their cycle are usually just improving their within cycle bleeding and regulating things overall, IYSWIM. It can seem that they have a short cycle because of the duration of bleeding.

Ideally you want a cycle that is about one calendar month long, with ovulation between days 10-14, with no spotting until a definite start to your period around day 28.

This is a really helpful book:

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0091887585/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

You’ll get there. But people telling you just to keep having sex when you have a long cycle are missing the point -the cycle has to be shortened to be ovulatory. That’s not to say you might not randomly ovulate here and there, but the “just sex” approach can get really frustrating very quickly if you aren’t doing anything else to improve the cycle and likelihood of ovulating. If someone is only ovulating 1-3x per year, is it really realistic to just keep having sex every couple of days for several years hoping to catch one of these ovulations? That kind of advice can really kill the intimacy in a relationship with sex becoming an endless chore...

I could have written your post except since May when I came off the pill I have only had 1 30 day cycle. I got SO excited thinking things had settled down but then I got to 64 days with the next one.
I had some blood tests quite early on & doctor said everything was fine (although I did read that they have to be taken on certain days which mine weren't as I didn't know where I was in the cycle) and I've had a scan which said everything looked normal.
I'm pretty sure it's not normal to go this long without periods though and just keep getting told to wait a year, even though my concerns are actually my irregular periods and the possibility of not ovulating etc... not that I'm not getting pregnant!
I have just finished a course of notheristerone prescribed by the doc which she says should 'kickstart' my cycles again so we'll see what happens with that.
I'm taking vit B now, no idea if it'll work but worth a shot I guess.
Its really frustrating but at least you're going for blood tests. I kind of wish they had found a hormone imbalance so I would have an answer!
Good luck

I had 30-50 day periods in my 20’s, and I was happy having less periods per year. Then my periods stopped when I was TTC. I got to the 9th month of no period and no pregnancy, so went to the GP and they agreed to refer me.
A week later I found out I was pregnant.
Try to relax - easy to say I know ! - and just keep going.

Testing for PCOS needs to be done at a specific time in the cycle so it's worth checking out exactly when if you want to be properly tested for that. The gynaecologist DD saw was alarmed that GP had done blood tests at a random time and not done a scan but diagnosed PCOS anyway.

@Ramblingwords thank you, I will have enough look into that following my blood tests next week. At this point I'll try anything! I agree about the 'just keep having sex' - to a point I understand this but i know deep down there must be something to explain my periods so I know it's not the only thing I should be doing? Hubby is happy at the moment but I don't want him to end up feeling used...for lack of a better way of putting it! You have given me hope that it's not all doom and gloom and there are things I can do to try and control the situation, so thank you x

@Summer61 I am so sorry to hear you are going through the same, it's just maddening isn't it! I think the reason I am so peed off is that I had such regular (for me anyway) cycles and everything was fine, now I've suddenly gone back to square one. The only thing I would say is that I was taking Pregnacare and they've got a bad rap on forums like this for altering cycles, I'm not sure if this applies to you at all? If not, I was the same when I came off the pill and it took me an age to get things moving again, so don't give up! Even though the pill leaves our body quickly it almost seems like our bodies have to learn to function how they're meant to again?! But I agree, it's the the lack of certainty around my cycles that's upsetting me, not the negative pregnancy tests as I was prepared for it to take some time. Let's hope we both have a better few months and things get back to normal for us! Good luck x

@FippertyGibbett so happy you got your BFP! Did you ever find out what was causing the irregular periods? And did you do anything differently that you think helped you to get pregnant? I am going mad today, constantly rushing to the toilet to see if AF is here :(

@TheTeenageYears thank you for letting me know that, the only thing is I'm not sure if my cycle at the moment so how could I pinpoint when is best to be tested? X

@Frostyblue20 unfortunately you have to wait for a period and then have a blood test in the correct window of time. On the one hand the diagnosis made sense for DD but the best pill to be on is not prescribed generally anymore because it has higher risk of blood clots etc. and taking it long term when it might not be PCOS doesn't seem right. Having an answer to a problem is great but only if it's correct.

It’s day 22, if I remember right.

One of my worst (but trivial) experiences when investigating my long cycles and infertility was getting that blood test done. I’d seen the GP around day 26, and they said I’d have to have a period, wait for day 22 and get the test. Unfortunately my period didn’t come at day 28 (obviously, I was consulting about a long cycle) and the cycle in question went to something like 75 days. When I finally went in for the day 22 test, the nurse wouldn’t do it for me and berated me for not getting the test done when the GP had directed and “waiting so long”. She had a right go and I was bloody livid.

[quote Frostyblue20]@FippertyGibbett so happy you got your BFP! Did you ever find out what was causing the irregular periods? And did you do anything differently that you think helped you to get pregnant? I am going mad today, constantly rushing to the toilet to see if AF is here :( [/quote]
No, never found out what was causing the irregular periods but I’d been in the pill for about 7 years so thought it was to do with that.
I think not having a period for 9 months was stress. I didn’t feel stressed in the slightest, but was doing a course that was hard work with lots of commuting.
Just relax and enjoy the trying for now 🤞🏻

@Ramblingwords that sounds very incompetent!!! I am confused now, as I am being sent for blood tests for LH, FSH, etc but wondering if it's worth going if it's not done on the right day...?!

@FippertyGibbett thank you, I definitely need to relax...easier said than done isn't it :) had a few spots of brown over the past few days, maybe that's a sign of impending AF. Glad it all worked out for you in the end. I am a very impatient person by nature, which probably doesn't help! X