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Conception

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Desperately wanting some advice.

1 reply

rlou1 · 10/01/2021 21:40

Hi I'm new here.
I'm really looking for some advice.
This may trigger some people so i do apologise if so.

Here goes.. Me and my partner have been together almost 2 years it's a very happy & healthy relationship. I have two children from my previous relationship and he doesn't have any children. We found out on the 2nd of January that I'm pregnant i only did a test as I'd been feeling unwell and usually very set with my periods but we didn't think anything of it. We are both in total shock as i have been on contraception the whole time. He straight away said he didn't want this baby, he said he's honestly gone through his life thinking he couldn't even have children and it didn't bother him he says he doesn't want any. I just went along with his wishes to make him happy and in fear that i will lose him. I put off ringing the hospital but we now have an appointment on Tuesday for a scan, bloods and to discus what happens next. I have to go in alone and will be there for up to 3 hours. I was absolutely certain I didn't want anymore children or at least for a long while anyway and i was happy with my decision. But now i find myself in this situation my thoughts and feelings are completely all over the place. I've not slept properly from the pregnancy symptoms but with all the stressing and worrying I'm doing on top of that is absolutely waring me down i feel so broken. I feel like a terrible person, i feel i have to chose between my partner or this baby. If i go through with this my fear is that I will resent my partner. I'm concerned about how i will feel about myself and the decision and how long will feel it, will it be for the rest of my life? If not and i continue, there is an extremely high chance of going through all of this alone along with raising my two other children. Also giving him a child what he doesn't want, i will feel like I'm ruining his life. I honestly don't know what to do with myself! 😔 Any advice or anything i will appreciate massively right now. Thankyou for taking the time to read my post. I will appreciate replies but please be kind x

OP posts:
DJmum83 · 10/01/2021 23:09

Hi
I'm so sorry you are faced with this situation.
I have never been in this situation before so all I can say is think very carefully about this, if your partner really didn't want kids he should have done more to prevent it.
What if you go through with not having this baby and something happens and you split up how will you feel. I really feel for you and cannot tell you what decision to make.
But if it was me I would say we have made this baby and I'm having it and hope he came round. But if he didn't you have done single mum life before and I'm sure you would manage again.

I'm sending massive hugs not an easy decision and hope you make the right one for YOU, not your partner xx

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