Any one else fail miserably taking the 'relaxed approach'

[hopingforhappiness92]

So everyone has been telling me 'just relax, it will happen when it's the right time, you are too stressed for it to happen'.

Well I ate all the soft cheese, I drank all the baileys and coffee a girl could want, we had sex when we felt like it, there was no tracking, no checking discharge, no peeing on stupid ovulation sticks every morning.

And it still didn't happen. Why is it so hard for some and for others it just happens straight away? I'm just so meh with the whole situation it feels like it will never happen for us.

How long have you been trying for and what age are you. These are key factors OP, but if you have time, the relaxed approach is definitely the best idea

Yes! We tried end of 2019/2020 completely relaxed but nothing happened then when covid hit we took a 6 month break.
Been trying again for around 4 months still nothing!
We are 26 and 30 both fit and healthy.
Made it hard at Christmas when 2 close friends announced pregnancies both unplanned.
Feel like people who don't plan or necessarily want a baby right now seem to fall pregnant.
Best of luck!

I found that trying to relax didn't really work for us. Ovulation tests was what worked in the end and I found out that my cycles weren't as I was thinking and I ovulate much later etc etc so I was having sex at the wrong time (even though was not counting etc etc but I was unconsciously)

I've tried the relaxed approach for months too and it does nothing for me either. I've never tried measuring BBT but I'm thinking I'm going to have to try as maybe pin pointing if I actually ovulate and when might help? I've used OPKs in the past getting consistent peaks around the same cycle day every month but I've heard they aren't that reliable. Feeling quite fed up today too, totally sympathise with you all in the same boat!

I am also going for the relaxed approach. I stopped rigevedon in December had withdrawal bleed 22nd -27th. Had unprotected sex every other day since. I'm not sure if my period will come on 19th Jan which theoretically it should but because I've been on the pill for 10 years im not sure. I'm also panicking because I've been on it for so long and I'm nearly 30. So I hope it doesn't take years as I wanted to do it preferably before I am 30. I already have a 9 year old whose 10 when I'm 30 😁

@Changedforthisyear

How long have you been trying for and what age are you. These are key factors OP, but if you have time, the relaxed approach is definitely the best idea

Hi all thanks for these responses!

We've been trying on and off for about two years (the last off was for 6 months while I went on the pill to help regulate my cycle). But I've just come on so this is my 5th cycle this time round.

I've had checks and they don't seem to think anything is wrong- although they haven't checked OH it was only me as my cycles were irregular.

I'm 28 so I know I have time it's just frustrating every month when it doesn't happen. I'm in one of those moods at the minute where I feel like it will never happen.

We've been together for nearly 10 years now and I just want us to have our own little family. I know I need to be patient, I'm just in a mood lol

I have a tendency to get a bit obsessive about things so I tried a more relaxed approach for the first three months, used an app to have an idea of fertile window but otherwise just tried to have regular sex. Then I got fed up of the repeated disappointment when AF arrived so started the SMEP and began using OPKs. Like @EasyPeasyHappyCheesy I found these great, turns out my luteal phase is only 11-12 days rather than the 14 my app assumed, so that shifted my fertile window by a crucial few days. I also found it helped to know when it definitely was important to DTD, when we were just doing it every other day or so then I was more inclined to skip a day because I was tired or whatever. I didn't track BBT because I am just not with it enough in the morning to remember to check my temp before getting up! Still haven't had my BFP yet (although testing tomorrow, so who knows!) but I definitely feel happier with this approach because I feel like we're really giving it our best shot.

We’ve also been trying for around 2 years with a 4-5 month break and one early loss. It’s so tough, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve tried everything, from ovulation tests to relaxed and I don’t think it really makes a difference. The cycle I did manage to get pregnant was the month I’d had a hycosy so that seems to be the only thing that’s made a difference. Have you been referred for that test?

I tried to be relaxed with my first but that didn’t work. I ended up stressing more. I started using temping and Ovulation strips (I just got cheap ones) after 6 months and then was pregnant after two months of that. I was ovulating earlier than was being predicted by my period tracking app- temping and the sticks showed me that.
We are now thinking about baby number two. I’m not going to temp or use OPKs yet as we don’t want to be working to get pregnant. I can no longer be on the combined pill due to a migraine with aura in my last pregnancy, I can’t get on with the POP and find condoms a faff then I guess we kind of are taking the relaxed approach to trying this time. I’m not in a rush to get pregnant but if I did would be happy if that makes sense.
It is awful when you feel everyone is getting pregnant but you OP and being told to relax didn’t help me the first time. If you think temping and OPKs may help you go for it.

I do definitely ovulate later than the standard day 14, but I'm a bit crap with ovulation strips I can never seem to get it right.

But onwards and upwards, I'll give ovulation sticks another go.

Thanks for all the support ladies, I guess I just expected getting pregnant to be easier than this. In my early 20s, my group of friends had so many pregnancy scares between us and we were all terrified 😂 now I'd be over the moon!

Yes!! My last Pregnancy which sadly ended in a miscarriage at 9 weeks we hadn't even been trying. The only thing we did differently was change positions. Post miscarriage we took a little break to give my body a rest after having 3 losses within 8 months. After that we tried as often as we could when we were able to be together. Then we both said that's it let's not think about trying and see what happens. Yeah that didn't work because now I'm Basal body temping instead

I wish i would have started late last year and then be ready for January only stopped pill in December few days before Christmas. But I dont have a clue about my cycle yet. So I wish Jan would have been the 1st month of being somewhat accurate 🤣🤣🤣 i keep feeling like AF has appeared everyday too like a trickle sensation then nothing when I go to check not even mucus or anything so weird