New and confused

[Eaststreet]

Hello - I’m new to mumsnet.

My partner and I have decided to start trying for our first baby, we decided to stop using contraception and just ‘see what happens’ but I feel like I’ve become totally obsessed though, is this normal?
I was also totally unaware of how difficult it seems to actually be to get pregnant . We’ve only been trying for 2 months which I know isn’t ages but nothing has happened yet and I keep reading so many stories of people who say how difficult it all is.

I’ve spent my entire life trying not to get pregnant and I don’t think I fully understand the fertile window, and when we should actually be trying in my cycle etc. I’ve googled it A LOT.
I’m so embarrassed but I honestly don’t think anyone has ever explained it to me before.
I’m the first out of my friends to start trying and they all seem pretty clueless too so I’m hoping it’s more common, that’s not making me feel any less silly though.
Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks in advance

Same for the most part, I'm 28 but having been on the pill for 10 years which stopped my period I've never got to know or understand the cycle, I stopped taking it's the last year.
Best place to start it get an app to track, or a couple as some differ and secondly as it's early days just try and have fun with it when it comes to the bedroom and don't put too much pressure on yourself - good luck!

Thanks @glow92 ! I’m 29 and had the implant which stopped my periods too, so I’m similar to you. I will get an app and start trying to tracking everything. Thanks for the advice

@Eaststreet I've definitely got myself a bit lost in other threads recently.. lots of ovulation testing, tempting, charting etc so there's a lot more you can do if you choose - I have a tendency to get a bit obsessive to I'm trying to keep away from that for the first few months if I can!

Okay heres the basics, in order of how much work they are. People can definitely successfully conceive using just stage 1:

Stage 1 - get an app, and in the potentially fertile or definitely fertile window have sex at least every 2nd day.

Stage 2: OPKs. These are ovulation test sticks that measure the hormone rise that COULD mean you are ovulating (only temps can confirm). You can add them to the app. They're easy to do and cheap. Some people do more than one a day when coming towards a peak.

Stage 3: do some googling about cervical mucus and track that on the app.

Stage 4: get a basal body temp thermometer and add those to the app. Must be 2 decimal places. This step is actually a giant pain as temp needs to be taken at the same time every day and before you get up. This means on weekends you'll end up having to wake up early to take temps.

Some people also track cervix feel but I've never got into that . Hope this helps @Eaststreet

@Eaststreet hello! I'd say definitely get an app to track your cycle with. If you BD regularly every 2-3 days you don't really have to do much else except for that and wait to see if your period arrives.

If you don't have quite that much BD: You ovulate roughly two weeks before your period and you can use ovulation predictor kits to try and pinpoint when ovulation is. Your fertile week are the five days leading up to ovulation. I don't know how regular or long your cycle is but if we use the average 28 day cycle, with ovulation on day 14 - you should be starting regular BD from day 9 and continue through to day 16 to be on the safe side.

If you use those ovulation predictor kits then they basically give you 12-36 hours heads up so you'd need to be having regular BD ahead of their positive result anyway to make sure you don't miss your chance. Once you get a peak result it's best to BD that day and the next two days to cover ovulation. To start with a Clearblue ovulation kit might be easiest to understand but they're pricey so a lot of women switch over to the cheap ones you can get off of amazon (e.g. the femometer ones are like 50 for £8 or something along those lines).

If you go further down the rabbit hole there's temperature tracking too but that's pretty detailed so I'll leave it off for now.

Thanks everyone, this is so helpful.
I have found some of the other threads hard to follow as I’m new to all of this so it’s good to get the basics.
I have downloaded one of the apps and also ordered an ovulation kit. I will give that ago for a few months first but it’s good to know there are a few more in depth options if needed.

Thanks again