Newbie - preparing for pregnancy

[PrivateParty]

Hi.
I am a total newbie at all things pregnancy related. Not sure if this is the right place for this but:
We are thinking of starting to TTC our first in the second half of 2021. I will be 38 by then. He will be 42.
Neither of us have had any kids before so who knows if we are capable.. Especially since I'm getting old.
I'm just looking for any kind of education in preparation for a baby. When I Google, its mostly cut down on alcohol, stop smoking (we're fine in that respect) and take folic acid. But what other stuff should we be starting to organise? Like what should I look into? Maternity pay, etc? I don't know anything about benefits or anything.
Also, I have an app that monitors my periods and I think it shows my fertile time too but which apps would people recommend, which shows exactly when we should try...
What do people wish they had considered earlier? I'm that much of a newbie to this that I'm not even sure what to ask..
Thanks!

Clue and Flo are both good apps.... but just remember it’s only a prediction and might not be accurate.

I would recommend getting an ovulation predictor kit (OPK), which will tell you when you’re actually ovulating.

Good luck :)

Fertility Friend app is the best for tracking your cycle and predicting ovulation, I also use the Femometer app to read OPKs (ovulation predictor kits). If you want to know exactly when you ovulate you'll need to use OPKs and BBT (basal body temperature) monitoring.

I would also recommend not waiting until second half of 2021, especially considering you and your partner's ages. You might be lucky and get pregnant straight away, it could take 2 years or you might need fertility help. I'm 29, healthy and no known issues and currently on cycle 6 of TTC with no success yet. Just trying to prepare you that it might not happen straight away.

If you're taking hormonal contraception I would stop that now and give your body several months to regulate its own hormones again. Lots of ladies on here have really struggled with messed up cycles after coming off the pill.

@PrivateParty I started trying when I was 38, am now 39 and have been trying with no luck for 9 months. If I was starting out again I wish I'd had a more realistic expectation about how long it would take. I really thought I would be pregnant within 6 months, and the longer it takes the harder it gets, it's really hard not to get totally absorbed in it. It's perfectly possible that you might be lucky and get pregnant within the first few months, but it's also completely normal to take a year or more. If I were you I would start as early as you can, don't put off starting as you might regret it if it then takes a long time. But obviously don't start until you are ready to be pregnant, just in case it happens quickly! Obviously checking out your financial position is really important - your work should have a maternity policy which tells you what you are and are not entitled to.

I'd also recommend reading the book "it starts with the egg". It gives loads of information about how older women like us can improve our egg quality.

Not on the pill. So don't have those issues to deal with.
I want to get my head round it all a bit more first. And his head.

I think you've had some great advice so far and I'd echo pretty much all of it:

• OPKs will help you pinpoint ovulation and help you know when to take a HPT. Personally, I didn't use them to time DTD, we just did that whenever we fancied, but it was good to know where I was in my cycle.

• Fertility friend was my favourite app for tracking cycles.

• If you don't have to wait then I wouldn't wait.

• Stop taking hormonal contraception ASAP if that's what you have.

The only other bit I'd add is to focus on your health and don't 'wait' to be pregnant. Pregnancy is physically tough on your body, the healthier and fitter you are prior to conceiving the easier you will hopefully find it. The other bit about 'waiting' is because it can take a while, and if you're putting off things (wedding, holidays, moving house, moving jobs etc), it can build up a lot of pressure each month.

Wishing you lots of luck for the future!

Cheap opks from Amazon, 50 for a fiver.

A thermometer to 2 decimal places to track your bbt.

I used fertility friend to input all my data and found it really good. I will say though, I ovulate anywhere between cd18-22 and apps tend to focus on day 14!

If you don't have to wait, I wouldn't. I started ttc in June 2018 at the age of 28, finally fell pregnant in February 2019, had a mmc and then fell pregnant again in December 2019. I gave birth inSeptember, 27 months after first stopping my pill. Also, dh and I had extensive fertility tests after my mmc (I became v depressed) and we both came back as having excellent fertility, yet it still took 8 months of trying both times.