Anyone had a baby at 41 with a 5+ age gap between kids?

[Tiletiletile1]

I’ve filled up lots of TTC boards here with my woes!

I’m 40 and have been TTC with second for about 2 years. Recently discovered it is DH’s low sperm count (2million) that is probably the reason why we haven’t been successful.

He’s now confident that with changes he can get his count up in three months... I think he might be trying to fob be off as he isn’t the best at making changes. I haven’t said much to him because I don’t want to make him feel bad.

I’m feeling quite depressed about all those years of trying and waiting though.

But wanted to know the experiences of those having a baby in your forties, with a big(ish) age gap between kids?

I keep thinking I should give up - but I can’t seem to make myself (yet)!

Anyone?

I’m 38 ttc number 4. Oh has no children, my 3 are from a previous marriage.

My youngest is 6 so if we conceive there would be a pretty big gap!

Thanks Rainbowafterrainbow! Good luck with your TTC.

I'm 42 and ttc number 3. My second, DD is nearly 2 and we barely tried for her - I would've been 39 when I was pregnant and 40 when I gave birth. There is a 22 YEAR age gap between her and no. 1. I appreciate that's a bigger gap than you're thinking about but it didn't matter to me (and still doesn't).

Oh wow kirinm that’s amazing! Ha that certainly makes me feel better about a 5+ year age gap. I want another (in part) so that my DC has a sibling and they’ll be close and I think that’s my worry. But I know I’m overthinking everything as TTC isn’t going so well this time around!

I was in your shoes last year! Tried for many years to conceive number 3, turns out it was my thyroid levels that were the problem. Once those stabilised we got pregnant with DD. When she was born in March DS was 7, DD was 9. I love the age gap and she fits our family perfectly. DS is particularly good with her at playing while DD is a mini mummy.

Good luck!

I’m a bit younger but we have just over a 5 year gap due to low sperm count.

Honestly, as an age gap it’s fab. You get to enjoy the baby stage when the older one is in school. They are very close now aged 2 and 7 and DD1s friends all dote on the 2 year old too which is lovely. I’ve no doubt it will change over time but there is no point overthinking it.

Yes, and they all grown up now, so i have a lot of hindsight. I was 41 when DS3 was born, with a 5 year old and an 8 year old.
The age gap was tricky in some ways, things like a 2 year old and a 7 year old don't want to do the same things, so stuff like cinema and outings were sometimes difficult. But in the house, it was fine, the older 2 were happy to play with /entertain the baby while I got on with stuff, and they have all always got on well. You have to be a bit relaxed about some things - the youngest was exposed to certain films/games at younger age than I would have liked, in the interests of letting him hang out with his big brothers- it would have felt unkind to send him out of the room ( to bed?) while the rest of the family were having fun together.
As a baby, he slotted into the household routine very easily, and enjoyed things like going on the school run and seeing his big brothers friends - I felt like it wasn't so hard to entertain him as our lives were quite busy at that stage anyway, there was always something going on.
I had close friendships with parents of the older boys, but found it harder to make friends with the parents of DS3's friends, partly because they were all quite a lot younger than me.
But on the whole, it's been lovely!

I had my DS at 39 after a long and expensive IVF journey and there's 5 years between him and DD.

They absolutely adore one another and I'm very glad I had him.

I do miss the relative freedoms of only having one child (and having sleep) ... so there are pros and cons but if you feel you want another then I say keep trying.

My Mum had my sister at 42 and there is a 23 year age gap between me and my sister with no children in between!

I conceived DD as I turned 40. She was born 1 month before DS's 11th birthday. They have a beautiful, incredibly close relationship. DS has ASD, and now, 10 years later, I know that they will always have each other.

I conceived DTs (DCs 4 and 5) when I was 41.
DC1 was 14, DC2 was 10 and DC3 was 6.

I would have preferred my 4th pregnancy to be a couple of years earlier but, due to ill-health it wasn't possible.

The age difference is no problem at all ( we planned for 4 years difference for the older DCs). In fact, I think it's a bonus!

I'm 43, I have a 6 year old, and I'm 26 weeks pregnant.

I would have loved to have a small age gap, but we couldn't have afforded two kids nursery fees at the same time.

There are lots of advantages of this age gap. Firstly, I'm glad to have had these 6 years with dd. I work full time so I'm really glad I could focus all my spare time and energy on dd.

Secondly, being older, I'm glad I'm going through pregnancy with an older child. She is very independent, so I can have a nap whilst she plays lego!

DD loves younger children so I'm sure she'll be a doting big sister.

I am worried about the fact they'll have different interests. I've spent the evening playing board games with dd. It will be a long time until her sister is old enough to do those things, and it might be challenging to find games they both want to play. But I can't turn back the clock now, and I'm sure we'll adapt.

I had my dd3 at 37, with an age gap of 7 years dd1 and 6 years dd2.

It’s been the best thing we ever did. She was completely unplanned and I was terrified about having her. I don’t know is she is particularly easy or we were just all kicking into our family stride, but it’s a lovely age gap. I’d love to have another actually as now 40 and it’s now or never!

I'm 47
I've got one aged 25
Another aged 16
And my last ( complete unplanned shock ) aged 6

Sperm cycle ia about 90 days. Your dh needs 1000 mg of soluble vitamin c twice a day. As suggested by an ivf Dr to a friend.. She has 4 dc now!
I had a dc at 43 with a 6 year gap between dc.

I had DC2 at 41 when DC1 was 5 years and 3 months old. Found many upsides. DS1 had a level of increasing independence that I think made the baby and toddler years easier for us than for friends with shorter gaps.

I'm 39 in Feb, my daughter is 6 and is desperate for a sibling.
I conceived without trying the first time so I thought it would be easy this time but I've had 2 chemical pregnancies so far so am getting worried something is wrong 😫

I had #3 at 40 older two were 5 and 7. Three years on its working well. The 8 and 3 year old still play together for long periods and squabble too!. 10 year old doesn’t really play in the same way but he’s a wonderful caring big brother and they are still very close.

I had dc3 at 43. Ds1 was 7, dd was 5.
It’s a bit harder at times now dd is 11 and becoming hormonal, but the first few years were lovely. Mostly still are but they have their moments.

I’m 41 in jan have a 15, 4 yo and ttc number 3. Fee loses since ds2