When is the 'right time' to start trying?

[Purplemonkey23]

I'm not sure whether this is the right thread for this topic but it's the closest I could find!

Me and my partner have been talking about having kids for quite some time now and we feel ready to start trying soon but i cant shake the idea that we're too young and would be judged
Im nearly 24 and my partner is nearly 25. We both have decent jobs with decent income. We have just bought our first house together. We dont want to start trying until next year (2022) and even then we wouldnt be tracking ovulation or obsessing. It would be more casual. We've been together for four years and want to get married but cant atm due to covid.
However, i keep second guessing myself as when i was younger i always thought i wouldnt want to start a family until I was 30 but i feel ready now. I also have PCOS so i dont want to leave it too late to start trying in case there a complications. I just feel like you either see young parents i.e below the age of 20 or older parents i.e over the age of 30.

My question is 25/26 too young to be trying to conceive?

It's such a personal decision.

25/26 would have been too young for me as there were a number of things I wanted to do before having children.

That's doesn't mean it's too young for you though! If you haven't got anything left on your pre children bucket list then maybe now is as good a time as any 🙂. It sounds like you've got all the basics in place. The only other thing is that it's good protection for you to get married prior to having a baby if it's likely to affect your career long term (aside from maternity leave).

Good luck!

I don't think there's a right answer that fits everyone. That age would have been too young for me as I still wanted to travel, party, live in different countries etc.

The only advice I'd give all women as a feminist is to be married. It is just financially foolish to have children if you aren't married because marriage gives women legal and financial protection. Women bear the brunt of having children, be it to our bodies or career setbacks, so I believe it's essential to have a partner who is legally compelled to take care of you and the child financially in case you break up. Don't settle for less; men are much less likely to actually get married once you're living together and already have a child, and I've seen too many women posting about their suffering trying to raise a child alone with no financial support because they weren't married and the father waltzed out.

I personally think there's never a perfect time because you could always find something to talk yourself out of it. For us, we had a "sign". A week after my 27th birthday I had a few days where I felt really strange, still not sure what it was but me & my partner began to kind of jokingly fantasize about me being pregnant. I was still on the pill at this point. I ended up taking a test one morning because, whilst we were being 100% serious about my symptoms, I'd really started to think I could be pregnant. Anyway, it was negative and I was absolutely distraught and I didn't expect to feel like that. I told my partner after work that day & he said he felt the same so we basically said we'll take that as a sign we're ready, and I came off the pill 😁 x

That should have said "whilst we weren't being 100% serious about my symptoms"

I'm 23, DP is 26 and we are currently trying. Been together 7 years, wedding postponed to May (thanks covid!), own our home which is plenty big enough and both in secure jobs (teaching and front line healthcare) so we think why not!

Hey @Curiosity101. I waited until I was 30 to start ttc and it took 10 months. We then waited until DS1 was 18 months and started ttc again and it took a year and one EMC to conceive DS2.

So I was 31 and 33 when I gave birth. If we decide to try for a third we need to get our skates on as I don’t want to be anywhere near 40 by the time I give birth. Having babies younger means more time to try if you do corn up against any obstacles.

My nephew and his gf (she has bad endometriosis) started ttc at age 20 and 21 due to this issue and got pregnant the first cycle. She had hyperemesis and preeclampsia and the baby was born at 27 weeks. He’s now doing really well. But at 21 that was an extremely awful thing to go through.

Just imagine you woke up tomorrow to a bfp. If that strikes the fear of god into you then maybe wait a little. If you’d be over the moon then go for it.

Myself and my husband are having this conversation currently! He feels too young (he’s 27) and I’m more than keen to start trying.

We’ve decided to wait to start TTC until later on in 2021 as I want the covid vaccine first (I’m in the very vulnerable group) and I also want maternity leave to be filled with baby groups and antenatal classes etc which are mostly virtual currently.

It’s a personal choice and only you can decide. But if you feel it’s right now (and both of you do!) and you can support yourselves with maternity pay (I’m a teacher - can’t say it’s amazing although it’s better than SMP alone) then why not. I don’t see you as being ‘too young’ - that’s a personal perception and personally I think ignore other people’s opinions and do what you both feel is best

I don’t think there is ever a “perfect” time to have a baby. Let’s face it, we all want to feel as prepared to be parents as much as we can but it is very difficult to tick every box to make things perfect. I think it is more to do with when you and your partner are ready to have children. You feel as though you are ready, what about your partner? If you both feel ready, you have decent incomes and your own home, you have stability which is great Just make sure you are both ready before committing. I don’t see anything wrong with having a baby at 25/26 if you are ready to be parents. Some of my friends had babies earlier than this and their children have turned out just fine!