I hope it's okay to post on this topic. I am 39 and had a baby in April. For a long time we didn't plan on having children but changed our mind and concieved immediately. It was a hellish pregnancy with HG and as a newborn my baby was in intensive care but we are now very happy and 'one and done'.
2020 hasn't been such a good year for my friends and family who are trying to concieve. One friend had a miscarriage at 15 weeks in Jan and only felt able to tell me last week because she hadn't wanted to add stress to my pregnancy. Another friend had an complex eptopic in May. I was able to support her through this but now her only option is IVF so she is on a waiting list.
A third friend had an unexpected pregnancy but his partner decided to have an abortion. He respected her choice but he actually wanted to have the baby and is now struggling emotionally.
Finally, my brother and his wife have been ttc for 3 years. She has a child from a previous relationship so they aren't eligible for NHS IVF. Initial tests show no reason why they haven't concieved. They are the most lovely people and I am distraught for them. This year has been particularly tough as everyone around them seems to be having babies. They are considering going private for IVF but need to save up. My brother never mentions it but my sister in law brings it up very occasionally.
I feel guilty that I did not struggle to concieve and I think it's affecting my ability to know how to support them. I realise I've already rambled so I will get to the point...should I be asking how their IVF journey is going (for those going down this route) or should I not bring it up? I don't want them to think I'm not interested or thinking of them or here to offer support? Is there anything I should be aware of when chatting generally to any of them. I just want to be sensitive x