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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Experiences with withdrawal method while in fertile phase?

48 replies

Freddie7831 · 23/12/2020 23:19

Hello everyone!

I'm going a bit insane reading every article there is on the internet, trying to find answers but it's not gonna happen haha.

I recently came off of the patch (after trying basically all types of contraception out there- either didn't work or doesn't get on with me). And decided to give natural cycles a go (and use a condom for majority of the month). Not planning a pregnancy (not really the right time but also wouldn't be disappointed if I did get pregnant).

I'm in a long term relationship with my partner who I live with, and no risk of STDs or anything so figure this would be ok.

Anyways, we had a bit of a slip up (no judgement please, I know it was stupid and we both feel really really stupid and wont be making the same mistake again) but we had sex on the 19th without a condom, using the withdrawal method (he came wayyy after pulling out). According to my charting I ovulated on the 22nd.

There doesnt seem to be scientific consensus on whether or not pre cum contains sperm (I feel more likely than not, and probably best to assume so anyways). He hadn't cum for a few days prior to this anyways (if that even makes a difference).

Apologies for such a long post, I am just unable to stop thinking about the situation and know I'm most likely really worrying over nothing.

So anyways, I was just wondering if anyone has been in this situation and what their outcome was?

Also any tips on distracting yourself and not googling like a mad woman during the two week wait to find out?

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:

Original poster

Freddie7831 · 27/12/2020 23:05

@movingonup20

Thanks! Clearly not the most reliable method haha.

OP posts:

Megan2018 · 27/12/2020 23:07

We used withdrawal successfully for 6 years, then we stopped and conceived easily. Now back to it.
We would be ok with an accidental pregnancy though.

Original poster

Freddie7831 · 27/12/2020 23:09

Just to clarify, he didn't pull out after he came.

He pulled out way before he came.

And he is very much supportive of condoms, this was an honest one time 'in the moment' slip up. He's genuinely a very caring, supportive partner.

OP posts:

pallisers · 27/12/2020 23:10

We did this. She is 19 now.

(we wanted another and knew we were ok with an accidental pregnancy though - before that it was pill and condoms if I missed a pill and every other thing)

Original poster

Freddie7831 · 27/12/2020 23:11

And also to clarify, I know the withdrawal method shouldn't really be a 'method' - its obviously really risky and shouldn't be relied upon.

I haven't been, and am not going to be in the future- it was a one time thing. I've always been on contraception or used condoms and will continue to be as safe as possible!

OP posts:

mynameisigglepiggle · 27/12/2020 23:14

@WhatInFreshHell

Our withdrawal is now 6 years old!

Ours is 3 and a half!

Original poster

Freddie7831 · 27/12/2020 23:15

I've had a hard time with contraception!

I was on the pill for years, and then switched to the coil as it is meant to be more effective and long term etc etc. Got pregnant on it after a couple years. (Always checked to see the strings were in place etc, but it was too low down which I wouldn't have had any way of knowing other than a scan).

Then back to the pill. I'm vegan and all of the pills in the UK use animal products now, so I switched to the Evra patch earlier this year.

It really irritated my skin among other side effects so decided this month to do natural cycles (and now also will be using condoms 100% of the time).

I'm open to trying the diaphragm but I'm also really sensitive down there so feel like spermicide will not work for me, but I could give it a go I guess!

Just want a bit of my life to be hormone free for a while haha!

OP posts:

Original poster

Freddie7831 · 27/12/2020 23:16

Thanks for everyone replying!

For those who have withdrawal children haha- were you using the 'method' correctly (as in pulling out on time)??

OP posts:

Fennelandlovage · 27/12/2020 23:17

I am very fertile and conceived very quickly both times we intended to - however not able to use hormonal contraception. We used withdrawal successfully for ten plus years with no accidents but does take quite a lot of control to not let it get away from you. Helps if you are ok with getting pregnant if there is an accident. Partner now had the snip.

Original poster

Freddie7831 · 27/12/2020 23:19

Thanks @Fennelandlovage that's good to know! Hopefully should be ok then although starting to get some symptoms (but might just be PMS who knows!)

OP posts:

Megan2018 · 27/12/2020 23:27

My DH has ridiculous control though which I think is why it works for us. He had a medical circumcision which resulted in scarring and reduced sensation which means he can last forever and control his finishes!
I was great on combined pill but can’t have it now and react horribly to anything else. So we are happy with withdrawal. I have very regular cycles though and we avoid the few days when I’m most fertile to assist.
It suits us but wouldn’t suit everyone.

CamdenLurker · 27/12/2020 23:28

We also used withdrawal for about 12 years, no surprise babies here (I had four before we started) to be honest we have always been of the 'if it happens it'll be lovely' mindset.

We've been trying on and off for a baby for the past two years and nothing - but I think this is probably down to my age.

Dancingalong · 27/12/2020 23:29

We’ve done it for the last 6 years since youngest was born. An accidental pregnancy wouldn’t be the end of the world though.

gypsywater · 27/12/2020 23:32

My partner and I did this for 5 years with no problems. But we may have just been lucky! Or maybe we arent very fertile. Who knows! I would use it again in future tho after I have stopped TTC, it worked so well for me. Wouldnt do it if I 100% was against having children tho!

Superfoodie123 · 27/12/2020 23:34

Our withdrawal is 3 and she's the most energetic kid of anyone I know

Namechange8471 · 27/12/2020 23:34

We used withdrawal for 5 years.

Got drunk one night and both forgot 😳. I'm now 14 weeks pregnant 😂

Regularsizedrudy · 27/12/2020 23:39

✨condoms✨

Pugdoglife · 28/12/2020 00:15

We used the withdrawal method for two periods of time during our relationship, I stopped taking the pill and needed to track my cycle before trying to conceive.......got pregnant straight away both times.

crabette · 28/12/2020 01:12

Not sure how many folk on this thread are familiar with Natura Cycles, but there's definitely a difference between "the withdrawal method" and using this.

Natural Cycles is an FDA approved contraception method - you can have "unprotected" sex without a condom on green days, as long as you abstain / use condoms on red. OP's problem is having had unprotected sex, (albeit with withdrawal,) on a red day.

There is obviously a chance you could be pregnant OP - though I'd say for a bit of reassurance, I'm currently actively trying to conceive, and if you have a quick look on the conception boards on here you'll see it's actually in many cases much harder to achieve than sex ed teachers would rightly have you believe as a teen lol.

It's very possible you COULD be pregnant - but it's not the most likely outcome. Even actively trying to conceive, having sex multiple times during the fertile window without withdrawing, chances of getting pregnant each month is about 15-25%.

Before I was trying to conceive I was in your position and used withdrawal rather than condoms a couple of times on red days, and never got pregnant like that. We would have been ok with an accident though, so I wouldn't recommend doing it again if you're not as it's not compliant with approved use of the app and clearly isn't a proper method of contraception. But just trying to reassure!

Elouera · 28/12/2020 08:44

OP- I know you said you have tried multiple contraceptives, but what about the nuvaring? I liked the fact I didnt need to remember anything daily, ist not affect ed by vomiting or diarrhoea, I didnt need to remove it for intercourse and DH didnt even know it was there! Best of luck x

laus1234 · 01/01/2021 20:57

Me and my partner have used the withdrawal method for the last 7 years or so, dtd during my fertile window and no surprise pregnancies here 🙂. I think it's fine to use if you know your body and trust your partner.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 01/01/2021 21:04

The withdrawal method or abstaining/using condoms during your fertile period both have a 25% failure rate, I.e of 100 couples using them for a year, 25 will get pregnant.
They are only suitable methods for couples who are happy to conceive.

iswhois · 01/01/2021 21:26

It worked for me for 5 years, but been TTC for 16 months with no luck so who knows!!!

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