Number 3.

[Oldsie]

i I am new to this so the abbreviation side of it is not happening.
Anyway I have just found out I am pregnant with number 3, having finally, after many months of saying "shall we shan't we", deciding to stick at two.
Obviously this has been a bit of a shock to the system and there have been lots of tears, basically because as of next September I would have been free until 3pm. Number one is 7 in April and number 2 is four at Christmas.
I am soooo scared I am not going to cope, I also don't want to start again as all my friends are now moving on with their lives. My husband does not share my fears, but they are getting bigger and bigger by the day.
Some sound advice needed urgently please.

Hi

Congratulations first of all

We also spent months trying to decide whether to go for #3, we already have 2 boys aged 5 and 7. In the end I knew I'd regret it if I didn't at least try, so we did and 1st month I conceived. I have to say that I felt a bit like you at first but I'm over the moon now. Obviously it's going to change the family dynamics but for the better I think.

I'm sure you will cope and I bet you'd have been bored at home all day without them
You'll find new friends too with babies the same age .I'm starting all over again and this time away from my support network of friends and family so MN will be seeing a lot of me!!

Come and join us in the antenatal groups, I'm in the due in June, I'm 6 weeks 5 days.

Good Luck

Deb

Hi ya Oldsie

You sound like me exactly one year ago! Decided number 3 would be left to fate, 'fate' got me pregnant first month off the pill!! I have two slightly older children ds7 and dd4, and nearly had my 'life back'.

Our lovely baby boy is now 15 weeks old and the love and affection shown by his older siblings tells me I made the best decision ever to have number 3. We could not imagine life without him, and I am really enjoying the 'baby' stage again. (It has been a while). Of course, sometimes I think I must be mad , but the good times are definitely out-weighing the bad!

I am sure you will cope, you will be a pro and it is a very good excuse not to go back to work.

Let me know if I can be of any further help, I now have a whole '15 weeks' experience as a mum of 3! Take care. xx

Your little no.3 will fit right in, and I bet you are more organised than ever(you have to be with 3!).

There are times when 3 is overwhelming, my dh and I always feel outnumbered.

But I do love having 3. 3...is the magic number!

thank you for your kind advice. I am still surrounded by people who either think I am mad, or have three and cope really badly. How do you cope with the sleepless nights and the school run and is it all really just a state of mind?

Some days are horrendous, some days are great. The baby will be the least of your worries, I bet its the older two that cause all the dramas!Thats the way in my house anyway. Be organised, lay clothes out, breakfast things etc etc.

Once you have dropped 2 kids off at school or nursery, thats when you came home to the wreck you once called your house, attempt to clear up before the beasts come home again!

You are not mad - it is fun having three, really hard work, but definitely fun!

The school run is always interesting, I find I really like having the routine, and the little man enjoys his trips out in the pram. Mrs Merton is right it does help to try and be super organised, like getting all the school stuff ready the night before - the less you have to do before you leave the house in the morning the better.

It is hard for the first few weeks, mainly because of the lack of sleep and lots of feeding, but all too soon you will adjust to having one more to add to the equation. I loved my unbroken sleep, but have soon got used to less sleep. I love seeing all three of them together it makes you so proud.

Three is the 'new two' you know!

Can I just wish you good luck and a happy and healthy pregnancy. I am ttc no 3 with a similar gap and am no spring chicken. I have come to the conclusion I will regret not trying even though I have my life back in many ways.

yes I am coming round to the idea of it might be quite fun, but really hard work. Can someone please help me out with these abbreviations. What does tcc mean and dd1 or ds2?
What are you guys that are starting again going to do about your friends that are moving on? are you going to make an effort to make new ones? It just seems so much of a bigger deal third time round.

Hi
ttc means 'trying to concieve', ds1 'darling son 1', dd2 'darling daugther 2' etc

Quite a lot of my friends go to work and have childcare, so I only see them on certain days/evenings (when I am lucky enough to get out!) but I have also made a few new friends who have just had number three or younger children.

I live in a fairly small village so it is easy to keep in touch with everyone. Have been involved with baby and toddler groups and will keep in touch with them, and may also go to NCT bumps and babes when my dd goes full-time at school. The more friends the better.

Hope you are ok today.

'daughter' (obviously)

Hi oldsie i had number 3 when ds1 was 7 and ds2 was 5 ,dd1 fitted like a glove into our family life !! the boys are now 13 & nearly 11 and Holly is 5 nearly 6 .I just made an effort in school holidays to continue to have one day out with just the boys doing things you can't with a small baby .My dd2 is eight months yes i went for #4 and we have a great house of fun laughter and sometimes pure exhaustion i wouldn't have it any other way .You cope and i think having another baby with the gap with your older children works so well they love all the stages ,watching them grow .The latest in my house is the delight of dd2 learning dadada and mamama!!!!

Hi Pennlope1, thank you for your reply it has been quite reassuring. Just one question would you say number 3 just had to fit in with the boys or was it the other way round. I have just seen a friend today and she has really struggled with number 3 and says the age gap is a bit of a problem. I do however get the impression its easier for her to stay in rather than let the baby fit in.
Oh why is number 3 such a huge problem.!!!!! :-(

I haven't got any yet, but after reading this I want 3! Would love to be a SAHM, but DH thinks it would send me crazy like my DM.

Let's see how he feels about it when he has DC - world of difference then!

A bit of both its compromise on everyone's role in the family ! I think you can make the situation work against you with the wrong attitude , i had the attitude it was a going to be the making of our family and everyone would be a part of pulling together the boys know that sometimes the girls have to come first but they get there turn. Now being the age they are they have a busy social life with there friends sometimes i feel i hardly see them what with football,rugby etc.They have both said to me they love the fact they have a big family and to me thats reward enough for making our family work!!!!

Hi & congrats oldsie & all, me and dh have decided to ttc #3 and i am with you i really want this but am completely terrified as dd1 is 8 and dd2 will be 7 in jan its been so long i wonder if i will be able to do it all over again but the overwhelming urge (i can feel my bio clock ticking ) outweighs any negative thoughts, my friend who has 4 says 2 was the biggest adjustment and 3&4 slotted in perfect so much so she is trying for #5!!

Well done Holly 78, I think we will be fine. I have decided to distance myself from people with 3 who find it hard and are very negative and focus on the positives. My bio clock is also ticking and I am going to be an older mum on the school playground with number 3, but so be it, at least I will be wiser!!!
take care and hope all goes well.

Thx oldsie, i think to distance yourself is a good idea everyone will have a different opinion on what they can and cant cope with, but i bet when you were pg with no 2 you thought the same? i did, i could not imagine 2 and my dd1 was only 5months old when i discovered i was pg again and my dp was in hosp with a broken back learning to walk again after a accident, but i got through it i think everyone does you just somehow adjust. I am so excited for another little me & dp .
P.s dont forget the ave age to have 1st baby at the min is apparently 40yrs,i bet you soon see you are not alone!! good luck hunx