Constantly broody but not ready for a baby

[Josiemac93]

I just want to see if anyone is in the same boat/want someone to talk to.

I'm 27, 28 in 5 months, married to my husband who is also broody. We've been together 10 years. He's a bar supervisor and I'm at uni in 2nd year. We also live with a housemate. We just have no money. Like we have debt to several family members and no savings and no where near in a position to buy a house. But I am just chronically broody. I want kids so so much. I think about it all the time. I literally lie awake at night thinking about having babies and how much I want it. It's such a shit feeling. I know I want more than one and I just wish I was in a position to start trying now! I have thought about trying in 3rd year of uni but omg the pressure to get a graduate job would be unbelievable if I did get pregnant in 3rd year. I think it's just the pressure of wanting kids before I'm 30 and wanting to start trying soon! I've had one miscarriage and one chemical pregnancy. Both times it was accidental pregnancies, but it also makes me realize I have no idea how long it'll take to get pregnant and I don't want to be trying for years especially if I want until I'm 30 to start trying. Any input would be great. X

Do you know what you would like to do once you graduate?

@bravotango I really don't tbh. I'm studying social policy so I could get a variety of different jobs but I don't actually know what I want to do when I do graduate no

Ok - reason I ask is I was the same! So so broody but looking ahead was difficult because I wasn't doing something that lead to a specific job. I decided to wait until I was employed doing something I liked (and this would be more secure in terms of mat leave) and then once I actually started the job I decided to wait a bit longer and am now TTC with DH after 2 years in my job. On the other hand...there's never a perfect time to have a baby so if you think you can then maybe go for it! Not helpful advice really haha sorry

@bravotango ahh no that's super helpful thank you! It's just so hard isn't it! I would ideally like to wait until I'm employed but it's just painfully difficult because I want to start nowwww. Being broody is just the worst feeling because it's just constant! Thanks for your reply!!! Good luck with ttc! I can't wait until it's my turn. X

I think you should try for a baby, people have babies during schooling, plus your husband is there to support you financially. Can't you find a part time job now and stack some money for your mat leave. I had my first baby at 28, I feel it was the right time and especially we wanted a few more.

@coolhand2 thanks for your reply! Yeah I am working part time atm. Just around 12 hours a week in retail but I think we're still just a bit too poor to try now. But maybe I could start trying at the end of next year! Hopefully we'll be in a better position financially by then! I think I'm just so scared of waiting too long even though I know people have babies much later!

Hello! I felt the exact same as you a few years ago with I was 24/25, it was literally all I could think about but I'd just started a new job, we were both still living with our parents.. we could've coped financially with a baby if it had happened but I look back now and we're in a much better position and I'm just so glad we waited.
I just thought to myself, I'll get the chance to have a baby in a few years when we're more financially stable but the chance to get good maternity leave, get our own home and all of that before a family would only come once.
We're 27 & 28 now and have been saving for a bit ... I must add I am a terrible worrier and over thinker. But ultimately whatever happens you will make it work and the baby will be surrounded by love which is the most important. If you and your partner think you'll be ok then go for it but a year goes really quickly, maybe spend 6 months getting your body ready, taking vitamins, and then start? It could take a while anyway like you said.
Best of luck, I think the fact you're thinking about it all shows you're going to be a brilliant Mum when it happens. Xx

@sunflowersaremyfav93 thank you sooo much that's so lovely to say. I think it's just the age for me, if I wait a few years I'll be in my 30's and I just don't want to miss my opportunity to have a more than one, hopefully 3 babas haha. I guess my ideal would be to wait until I've got a graduate job and as soon as I've got a graduate job I'm going for it 😂. I just wish I was in that position now! It is hard when it's all you can think about! I feel like a woman possessed!

I'm the same. I'm 28 and in 3rd year of a 4 year course, hope to do a masters and don't want to try for a baby until I'm in a job. And I'd prefer to sell my flat and buy a house. Feel like I'll be waiting forever! I already have an 8 year old, the age gap will be so big I think we might end up deciding not to have another. It's difficult. I'd have one tomorrow if it was possible.

Thanks @jamesmoriarty for your reply! Agh! It is such a difficult decision isn't it. What stops you from having one now? Just uni?
Re the age gap, there's a 12 year age gap between me and my eldest sibling and we get along very well and she was old enough to help my mam out when me and my sister's were born, but there are two in-between us and I'm the youngest of 4!

@jamesmoriarty just seen you want to wait until you're in a job sorry! Yes that's the same as me. I just want to be in a graduate job because I don't want to delay finishing uni! I'm already doing an extra year cos I switched courses. But it's just so hard when I'm yearning for a baby!!!

Yeah I definitely want to finish uni first and I'm really hoping to do a masters but that feeling of wanting a baby just never goes away. I've looked for full time jobs a few times and considered quitting uni - I wouldn't actually do it but it's difficult! A girl on my course had a baby during 1st year and she's really struggled so I definitely couldn't do it. I want my degree but I also just want to get on with my life outside of it.
That's good to know about the age gap! How are you finding uni? I've not had a class in person since March, it's so surreal.

Aw I feel you. It's such a heart wrenching feeling isn't it?! Yeah I'm exactly the same with uni. It's going okay but oh my god I am struggling to engage with all online! I've got 4 essays due in on 12th of Jan and all I keep doing is watching YouTube vids of people having babies whilst at uni haha. How are you finding it? I miss seminars a lot!