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Conception

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If you were me, when would you ttc no. 2?

3 replies

Hotcrosschristmastrees · 08/12/2020 19:15

Always like hearing different experiences and age gaps.

Nc as lots of info.

Dh and I have a boy who turned 1 in November. I would love a 2nd child and we're having a think about age gaps and when is good, also looking at jobs and life in general including the pandemic.

Ideally I'd like a spring baby which would mean getting pregnant summer 2021, but dh is worried that may be too short an age gap! So if we had a baby March 2022 our current son will be 2 years and 4 months - according to our friend that's a very difficult age! Is this true? She said between 2 years and 8 months and 3 years is perfect. Dh is also studying alongside his work until summer 2022, so although doable may be more stressful to have a baby that spring.

The thing is I don't want a summer baby (we have SO many summer birthdays in my family it's just stressful and July and August are the worst!) plus I have teachers in my family and have it in my head not to have a summer baby. Obviously not the be all and end all but that's a preference. I also don't want the new baby's birthdays to close to DS which is autumn and then you've got Christmas and New year, basically turning back into wanting a spring baby the year after. So that's waiting to try and conceive summer 2022 which is really, really far away! Who knows if it'll even happen so quickly? Plus I'll be 33.

If we do it sooner then my current work set up from home which is also part time is great. I dont like the idea of waiting for a year and a half when I might have to start commuting into the office again and basically fall pregnant when things are starting to get good again in the world pandemic wise!

On the other hand, would love to do an extension to the house and probably a good idea pre baby no 2 right?

OP posts:
Curiosity101 · 08/12/2020 22:00

Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can tell you when the right time is.

What I would say is, if this year has taught me anything it's that you can't plan everything. Who could ever have predicted this past year?

If you're ready for a baby and have the means and opportunity then I'd say so long as you're past the 1-year mark then do whatever feels right.

It's definitely more convenient to do an extension before having baby #2. Maybe the age gap your friend is suggesting might be easier. But realistically, whatever the age gap you end up with is... it'll be all you know so what does it matter really?

So long as you and your partner are on board with the plan I'm sure you'll figure it out. And time goes by so fast, they'll both be past the difficult bit before you know it. Just do what feels right. Apart from anything else you might start TTC #2 and end up with a big age gap anyway if it takes awhile.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

Leah2501 · 08/12/2020 22:42

I’m not really sure this is a question that can be answered. For some people I know who have had age gaps 5+ years that has been perfect for them. For others who have had 1 year age gap that has been perfect for them. Different age gaps have different pros and cons.

Also... if you‘be browsed the conception forums I’m sure you’ll realise you can’t ‘plan’ a season baby. You start trying in summer and tell yourself you’ll be pregnant in a month or 2. It could then be 7 months later and you’re still trying. Would you then stop trying to avoid a summer baby? Or will your want for a baby mean you continue to try.

I really hope none of this sounds negative as I don’t in anyway mean that. What I really mean is... if you are both ready for a baby, and are both itching for that pregnancy glow and newborn love, then get trying and enjoy it 😆
If you don’t quite feel like that yet and these questions are because you have seeds of doubt, then wait until you’re comfortable.

Just remember what’s perfect for someone else won’t be perfect for you. As long as your little family is happy that’s all that matters ☺️ Hope this has helped in some way!

Shinysilverlamp · 09/12/2020 10:58

Started ttc baby number 2 when my little one was 6 months old as we wanted a small age gap.

2 years, 2 miscarriages later and we still don’t have our second baby. At this rate I’d welcome a baby with any birthday month! By all means try for when you would ideally want a baby to be born, but don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out that way.

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