9 cycles in - when to see doctor? 😔

[Hokeycokey54321]

Hi , so I’m starting to lose track but think I’m 9 or 10 cycles in and no sign of anything happening. I have never used hormonal contraception and my periods are regular 27-29 days. I’m 32 and my partner is 39 - as he is older do we need to see the GP sooner than over a year?
When they say wait a year is that 12 months or 12 cycles - as on average I think you would have more than 12 cycles in a year ?? If that makes sense.
Starting to feel that it’s never going to happen , any positive stories very much welcome.

Usually they ask that you have been ttc for at least a year before going for tests unless over 35, then it is 6 months.

You could pay for private tests with a fertility clinic now though? A few hundred pounds but this will likely be more in depth than what the NHS offers.

12 months not 12 cycles, and it goes on your age not your DH's.

12 months. It's tough.

We had all our tests after 12 months, everything came back normal and I fell pregnant after 18 months. LO is now 4 and we are TTC again, fell pregnant the first month but sadly ended in a miscarriage so we are back to TTC.
It will happen when it's meant to, good luck 🤞

12 months not 12 cycles. There are things you can do yourself first though - I'd really recommend temping to be sure you are ovulating, the book taking charge of your fertility is really good for advise on other signs. I'd also recommend the book It starts with the egg, though that can seem a bit overwhelming and focuses a lot on people with identified issues.

Honestly at your age I would start temping and using an app like fertility friend if you aren't already to see if you are definitely ovulating - I had fairly regular cycles but some were anovulatory. And I'd be tempted to pay for a private sperm analysis as its non-invasive and easy to know if there's an issue there.

I think for many cycles on our first we were timing our efforts wrong, the app and temping helped realise that. The 'Sperm meets egg' plan is also good. Basically: if you're sure you're ovulating, you're sure you're having sex so regularly it will definitely line up with ovulation, and you're sure there's no issue with sperm, then its probably just a matter of time. Its important to make sure all these things are true though and you're not just assuming as there is generally intervention that can happen which might be as simple as the right multivitamin.

I went at 9 months and I was 33 I think then.

I went to the GP at 8months as I was over 35 and they wouldn't do anything until it had been a year.

We ended up getting a private couples assessment done, it was £550.

Hi @Hokeycokey54321, your partner can ask his GP about doing a semen analysis, he might refer him earlier depending on his medical history. If not, it might be worth having a private one to save time. If there is an issue with your partner's results he can then go back to the GP to order a repeat test (they always ask for a second one if the first is abnormal, usually after 3 months). It's a long process so it's worth investigating sooner rather than later if you can (but hopefully everything is OK and it's just a matter of time for you!). xx

I am approaching 9 months TTC and have just started to pay for some tests privately. Much quicker that way, but it is expensive. Fortunately we can just about afford it at the moment. I've had day 21 progesterone, AMH, and scan. DP has had semen analysis. I have a hycosy provisionally booked for next cycle assuming no positive test. I've been tracking with opks on and off since about month 4/5.

Thank you all for your replies. Lots of helpful info there. I’ve tried the OPKs, use a fertility tracking app etc but so far not helped . The last couple months have taken a rest from doing those though as it was starting to get a bit much and really consumed a lot of thoughts and energy. Might have a look into private tests then or see if GP happy to see DP at least .

@Hokeycokey54321 maybe controversial but if you want to get tested why not just say it's been 12 months 🤷🏼‍♀️
I've not been trying as long but I have a cut off point in mind for trying the Dr to check everything is in working order!

I went after 8 months. Said it had been a year as I was really worried my husbands tablets were effecting his sperm. It took a while to time all the tests that I needed on specific days of my cycle. All came back normal. I'm 34. The doctor said if i was younger she would have said to try for a bit longer. Due to my age and waiting lists she referred us to the fertility clinic. I got pregnant on cycle 14 which was also 14 months TTC. For most people it really does just take time and its luck. I know people who tried for 18 months or more for their first then their second conceived first cycle. I think a sperm analysis is definitely worth doing though just for peace of mind as you have no way of knowing xx

Thanks both, going to GP and saying it’s been longer is an option... although not honest I suppose with waiting lists by the time you actually see someone is going to be close to a year anyway. Forgot to mention both myself and my DP have a child each from previous relationships 10 years ago. So I suppose we know we can get pregnant, but we were both much younger then - could there be a big change in his sperm quality in that time I wonder?

@Hokeycokey54321 men can go on conceiving for years! I wouldn't worry about it too much until you know anything definitively.

Do not lie about how long you have been TTC. I know waiting is tough, I went through infertility treatment, but honestly that's despicable. The NHS has to allocate resources fairly, but also the stats show that most couples will conceive within the year. Going early means you're likely to conceive naturally and you are wasting resources for those who really need the additional assistance. It also means the doctor is not accurately able to assess what support you need medically - as they are being lied to about the situation. Don't be that person.

I went at 11 months and the GP did day 21 bloods (all came back normal) and joked that I hadn’t hit the 12 month mark yet and I’d probably conceive the next month before I needed to come back...and I did conceive the next month!

TTC is really crap

@Dinosauraddict

Do not lie about how long you have been TTC. I know waiting is tough, I went through infertility treatment, but honestly that's despicable. The NHS has to allocate resources fairly, but also the stats show that most couples will conceive within the year. Going early means you're likely to conceive naturally and you are wasting resources for those who really need the additional assistance. It also means the doctor is not accurately able to assess what support you need medically - as they are being lied to about the situation. Don't be that person.

This.

@Dinosauraddict point taken. In my defence I was responding to above posts. Waiting lists are likely to take months so by the time we see someone it’s likely to be a year. In all likelihood if I got to the GP now I will be open about how long it’s been but also express concern at waiting list times and see if they are happy to get the ball rolling. Although I’m 32 I’m very aware that fertility is reducing and ideally we would love 2 children together and so that doesn’t leave a lot of time left if we are struggling.

I have commented this before on other threads but I got my BFP on my 9th month and I swear it was down to the clearblue fertility monitor! The actually monitor is quite pricey but but worth it if your worried. My friend recommended buying the older model on eBay second hand, I got it for £16 (don’t worry it’s not gross, I thought it would be but it doesn’t touch your urine at all) basically it’s a monitor that you can hold in your palm, you enter the first day of your period and keep checking everyday once your period ends and it will start asking you for ovulation sticks, you pee on the stick and pop the lid on, then click into the monitor. It tells you whether you are low, high or peak fertility that day. It’s better than the cheap opks as they only tell you when you’ve hit your peak whereas this detects estrogen which is what you need to produce EWCM, so even if you can’t see any EWCM this is telling you that it’s there and your fertile. It will eventually give you your 2 peak LH days and you are guaranteed to ovulate on one of these otherwise it just won’t give you a peak. Even better if you temp at the same time because you can pinpoint which exact day you ovulate as your temp rises as soon as ovulation is done. I think it worked for us because I was focused too much on catching my peak opk day rather than the estrogen days before. So it told me I had 7 high estrogen days before my 2 peaks, I would never have thought I was fertile all that time before my peak days! We BD 4 days that week l, including the day of ovulation and I got my BFP. It literally tells you when to have sex. I fell preg the 2nd time using it and so did my friend AND so did HER friend who recommended it to her? Worth a try! Oh and I also used preseed everytime which I hadn’t tried before!
Also I found a study online that said the most popular day to get preg in a study of women was 3 days before and the second most likely day was 2 days before and these were the days most women had the highest EWCM.