Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

3rd baby dilemma!

20 replies

BJB21 · 21/10/2007 12:35

I feel really mithered! have just had second child 4wks ago(who is playing me up something rotten!) also have an 8 year old(wish hadnt left such a gap) and i had said to myself that this was last baby as i am 37 and no more babies so close to 40,but i cant stop thinking about trying for a third. thought it was just the the 3 day baby blues at first, feeling sad about never experiencing pregnancy or childbirth again but i still keep thinking about it. HAVE 2 boys and would love a girl even tho no guarantees and keep thinking will i regret it if i never have another? i keep thinking maybe i could try in a year and i would still have baby before i am 40, but would i be doing right thing. It would be hard work with 2 little ones and i havent got age on my side to leave a gap and then practically it would be difficult with 3. holidays etc. Also what if i was pushing my luck trying for a third, with my age? please advise!

OP posts:
3andnogore · 21/10/2007 12:46

I think it's your hormones going havoc there, and also, whilst you may enjoy aving the Baby,and towards the end of pg usually are ready to meet your child, you may still "miss" being pg
Mihgt not be enough though to want another child long term.
Don't beat yourself up about these feelings and just wait and see, if at a later stage you still feel strongly and really want another child, then think about then....

rozzyraspberry · 21/10/2007 12:53

You're only 37 - no rush to make any immediate decisions.

Only thing I would say at this point is only consider having another if you would be 100% with boy or girl.

Original poster
BJB21 · 21/10/2007 13:10

yes i definitely do miss being preg! which is strange cos i was dreading being pregnant cos i thought id hate it as was a misery guts first time round! however, apart from feeeling rough the first few mths i did enjoy my pregnancy and felt i could have gone on forever. i would be happy with boy or girl but just think maybe without trying a third time i might miss out on chance of having daughter. i will definitely leave it a while yet tho to decide for sure!

OP posts:
dooley1 · 21/10/2007 13:12

I wouldn't make any decisions, or even try to just yet.
Leave it until your newborn is a year old and then start to think about it.
The first year is tough enough without being pregnant too imo.

Original poster
BJB21 · 21/10/2007 13:18

yes dooley, will def wait till he is at least one year, it would still leave me enough time before get too old!

OP posts:
Reamhar · 21/10/2007 13:40

Spookily enough I was having the same sort of thoughts. Two boys already, one 14 weeks old and thinking about another one (would love a girl). I think it's the hormones....!

It's funny how quickly you forget about all the bits of pregnancy that you hated, and start being nostalgic about it. Got to admit, mother nature is clever.

Don't think my husband is going to be on board with this either, but then, if there is no "snip snip" the door is being left open, isn't it?

Original poster
BJB21 · 21/10/2007 13:52

yes it is weird, anyone who knows me would think it hilarious that i was nostalgic for pregnancy! i always anted a second child but didnt bget round to it for ages and when i did get preg i was chuffed as i love kids but hated the thought of being preg for so long! 9 mths felt like ages and i love going on holioday, wearing nice clothes etc, totally selfish and dreaded the thought of my changing body. however, i had a good preg really and didnt have any of those feelings i was expecting to have. We always said if we had another boy we would try for a third for girl but then i changed mind when got preg due to age and the reasons ive just said but now ive changed mind again! He would never have snip, i wouldnt want anything so drastic and he said he would have another if i wanted (but i think he would prefer not to!)

OP posts:
Original poster
BJB21 · 21/10/2007 13:53

bet you are not as old as me tho ream?!!

OP posts:
Reamhar · 21/10/2007 14:02

I'll be 35 is in a matter of weeks, but in spirit I will forever be 28. lol

Original poster
BJB21 · 21/10/2007 14:14

exactly! wish i was 35, could aford to wait a few more years till this one starts school, but time running out for me!, although like u, still feel like in my twenties!

OP posts:
pennlope1 · 22/10/2007 19:53

Hi BJB21 i know how you feel i felt the same when dd2 was born except she is my fourth baby [now eight months]would love another but its sleeping them all comfortably !!!I have two ds and two dd i know some good tips to getting a girl as i really wanted my third and fourth to be girls .Dd1 was a year in the making read a great book How too choose the sex of your baby lots of great info decided not to follow the crazy diet suggested[no will power]but decided it was all in the timing of conception as i fell with both boys at ovulation and concieved dd1 three weeks before period was due .Tbh i didn't mind if i had another boy as they are so scrummy too but if i could intervene why not ? Gave it a go and now have two of each but would like another probably a boy !!!! wow gone on a bit

Original poster
BJB21 · 23/10/2007 12:10

pennlope1, you have got me going again now saying you have great tips for geting a girl!!

Have seen that book and wondered if it was rubbish or any truth in it!A friend of mine from uni followed a special diet to have a son after 2 girls and she swore it was that that worked (got a boy).

I believe the ovulation theory as with my first baby i tried for ages to get preg and even bought those ovulation kits to check ovulating (i was!) and as my periods were so regular i timed when to have sex and i obviously got a boy and this time we didnt try hard and i got preg quickly but believe it was very close to ovulation, hence another boy.

What is the diet?is it citrusy stuff?

Having said all of this, i wouldnt be disappointed that much if had another boy, doesnt matter does it. but it would be nice to have girl!

OP posts:
pennlope1 · 23/10/2007 16:40

I think most women want a girl for friendship in later life , the clothes etc...You must get the book its by Hazel Chesterman Phillips title is How to choose the sex of your baby? There is a chapter on how to get boy and then how to get a girl ,there also lots of letters telling you how people succeeded and when it didn't go there way and the author explains how it could of gone wrong . The crucial thing i believe is in the timing pin pointing exactly when you ovulate .If you have a reguler cycle or you know the signs of ovulating your half way there. I would say when i had my ds1 it was in the USA and i was under this great consultant he believed that some men could only produce one type of sperm maybe explaining why some people produce either lots of girls or lots of boys!!! The chinese gender chart was right with all of mine as well !!! I fine it all fascinating and why not try and choose i concieved dd2 on the same day of my cycle as dd1 !!!!!

NorthernLurker · 23/10/2007 16:46

I really think this is your hormones talking right now. Your body is basically determined to get you knocked up asap - this is one area where your body doesn't know best! Give it a year at least.

pennlope1 · 23/10/2007 17:14

I agree with NorternLurker it is your hormones!!! Get the book read it see what you think but let your body recover from the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth and enjoy every moment with your new srummy baby you still have lots of time !!!!

Original poster
BJB21 · 23/10/2007 22:00

OH absolutely i am gonna wait a t leasta year! defo! its just i want to keep the thought in my mind cos i am sure that this wont be my last baby. i dont want to do it yet i would be devastated, but i still think i couldnt bear it if i didnt do it all again.

OP posts:
pennlope1 · 24/10/2007 19:50

Well do what i did get the book and as soon as your cycle returns start marking the days in your diary . You can start the planning now and you still have time on your side !! My sister had her third at 42 !!!!

Elsbells · 24/10/2007 21:08

BJB - I am already broody too. Have a DS (2y4m) and DD (20 weeks tomorrow) and I am already thinking about no3. DH and I definitely want 1 more but now I am debating in my head WHEN? I currently have a 22m age gap and want to know what is in other people's experience a good age gap between DC 2 and 3.

Maybe I am just too hormonal.
[smile}

Original poster
BJB21 · 25/10/2007 09:22

pennlope1, im defo gona get that book, its worth a try, wont do any harm and if doesnt work at least i can say ive tried.

elsbells- that exactly how im thinking! wouldnt contemplate having a baby yet, but i keep thinking well when should i?? dont want the gap to be so small that i cant cope(will still have to go to work) but dont want to leave it so long that its hard to start again and plus my age too

OP posts:
Original poster
BJB21 · 30/10/2007 12:22

i have just bought that book how to choose the sex of your baby and i have been engrossed all morning! very interesting and i shall be saving it for future reference

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread