Getting period when trying to conceive

[BLMH]

Hello!

This is my first post here and I have no idea what I'm doing 🤦‍♀️

Anyway, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for over a year now. We're at the point where we are making appointments to discuss our fertility but covid is slowing that down.

I just wondered how others cope with that crippling feeling when you get your period and realise that you're not pregnant. My husband is really supportive and tries to brush it off and cheer me up. But I just really want someone to validate how crushing it is.

My brain tells me we can keep trying and to take it easy and all the right stuff. But I still can't help feeling the disappointment.

How have others coped with Aunt Flo turning up and kicking you in the vagina?

Hi there!

Ah the appearance of AF is the worst! It's so difficult and I really understand, I feel like each month gets harder every time. I let myself be sad for a few days, then try and think of it as a new cycle and new start and another try. I'd recommend walks, meditation, trying to keep busy. I find all this helps me, however I'm still devastated every time it's not happened for us.

It's so much easier said than done to not stress. Last cycle my AF was 10 days late and I was stressed out and doing tests, and miserable that two weeks after seeing 3 negative tests, so I have tried not to be so down when AF finally arrived.

I think men don't realise quite how difficult it is for us in the TWW, over analysing every twinge and symptom.

I'm sorry to hear the Covid is causing delays! I hope you get an appointment soon! Do you do ovulation tracking? X

Hey @BLMH. Sorry it’s taking so long for you guys. It took us 10 months to conceive our eldest and 12 months to conceive our now 11 week old (after an Emc). I don’t think that disappointment ever goes away when AF arrives until she doesn’t. I think the best advice I can give is to cut yourself some slack and just embrace that sadness and disappointment for a little while. Then carry on. I listened to a good podcast called Fertile ground which helped me to. Chill out. It’s very American and a bit “woo” in places but I enjoyed it.

@hjen22 thank you! I do need to get back to walks and meditation. I hate to hear of anyone else having issues but it is comforting to have the emotions validated.

I am tracking everything I possibly can, yes 😂🤦‍♀️

@ahpforthe123 congratulations on your new addition! Thank you so much, I love a podcast so I will definitely check that out x

It's rubbish. And you can guarantee someone will tell you how awful it was that that had to wait 4 months before conceiving their second child and how tortuous it was.

Anyway I won't depress you with my tale of woe but my hormones play a massive part in feeling the brutal blow, but it makes me feel that there is still a chance next month.

Good luck op!

Its crap and horrible. I totally understand what you mean. If I'm going to get a positive ots usually positive a few days before AF.
So if I check and know it should be positive by now. I just feel low for the days until AF arrives.
Just tested today and it was negative so I know my AF will turn up. Just feel crap. And a bit low in motivation.
But strangely once it is actually here I feel like I can get started on my next cycle and my mood lifts again. But those days knowing it is going to arrive are crap.

I try to see the period as a positive, that I'm still getting them and try to be thankful. It's so bloody hard as there's always that heartbreak initially. I'm 28 and trying to conceive baby 1 xx

@Hannah199y yeah once I got 3 BFNs this month and AF delayed by 10 days I started to panic AF was just not coming at all. So was still heartbreaking, but a relief to finally be able to start a new cycle.

I've got a new meditation app called Expectful I've been listening to the last few days that I like and you get a free week. I've found walking this week has cleared my mind.

I've tried months of no tracking to months of tracking with OPKs and BBT, I've also had two sessions of reflexology, a massage, so many things. You are definitely not alone, it's mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting and no one prepares you for all the tracking, over thinking, stressing side of it! X

@HJen22

Agree with you, I have been doing meditation which has been amazing at relaxing me

I cope...badly. Been trying around a year now. Got a BFP on Cycle 8 but had a MC at 10 weeks in Sept and have just started Cycle 2 since. Feeling despondent.

@AHPforthe123 I listened to the Fertile Ground podcast today, great recommendation thank you, I like it!

@gypsywater I'm so sorry about your MC, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been 😢

@HJen22 ah glad you liked it. They really helped in the build up to conceiving my 11 week old x

@BLMH I could have written this myself. AF has slapped me round the face today - 3 days late and a lot of symptoms and negative tests later. I had a chemical pregnancy last month too which is so crushing.
This morning I rang the doctor to refer us to the fertility clinic as its been 18 months of trying. I wish I'd rang sooner now as we've been told the referral will take longer with covid
Maybe we should keep this thread going for support/a place to offload? My DH is being supportive but I can tell he thinks I should go with the flow more when I'm symptom spotting and testing every day. Not so easy when it's your body!

@pizzaandcats bless you! It sounds like you've had a rough time.

It's so indescribable, the whole experience. I can't believe I'm 30 in a few months and I'm only just learning about all of this stuff which makes me feel so ignorant. At this rate, I have no idea how pregnancies happen without planning 🤦‍♀️

AF is off the Christmas card list!!!

@BLMH last Thursday mine and DH mutual friends from uni announced they are 9 weeks pregnant after 2 months of "not trying, but not preventing it either". So happy for them but the injustice is real!

You're right there. Its exhausting being constantly conflicted!!

@pizzaandcats it's so hard to not symptom spot isn't it! I can tell my BF thinks I've lost the plot sometimes 😂 and then the month I tried to really relax AF is 10 days late and makes me more stressed and miserable than I've ever been, seeing as it was BFN after BFN!

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time 😔 and a chemical pregnancy must have been awful. I've only just recently learnt what that is, and I really feel for anyone who goes through that. I hope you get a referral through soon! Definitely out here for an offload / support. I found chatting on here really helped me during the time of waiting for the illusive AF! I think a lot of us don't tell many people we are TTC and as much as we love them, the men don't always fully understand (I know they also get upset and hurt but when it's your body it just seems so much worse doesn't it) it can be a lonely old place this journey sometimes!

@BLMH same, I had no idea about fertile week, OPKs, chemical pregnancy, ovulation - none of it! And I'm 32! I genuinely thought you could get pregnant at any time of the month! It's definitely been a learning curve!! I have had 2 best friends have babies this year and another friend is due in 2 weeks and another in February. I am so happy for them but I'm just so gutted I'm not in that wee bubble with them!

@HJen22 it certainly is very different when it's your body and you're spotting the tiniest of symptoms.
It all came pouring out of me today. Found out our new door that should have been fitted 2 weeks ago isn't going to arrive until end of Jan and actually sobbed on DHs shoulder isnt it funny what can tip us over the edge?
Feeling a bit better for crying it out and resolved to keep trying while we wait for our fertility apt

@pizzaandcats isn't it! The more you don't want to over analyse the more it seems to happen! Body and mind play tricks!

Oh no I'm sorry, sounds like a tough day. It's so unbelievably annoying when things are delayed! Sometimes you just need a cry though, better out than in! I was crying over a Facebook video of kids singing earlier 😂 yes def keep trying whilst you wait for your appointment!

@ahpforthe123 I've just listened to the first episode of fertile ground. I love it!! I'm a bit (a lot) "woo" myself so it's up my alley. Thank you!!x

@BLMH I've listened to 3 now and really liking them!

Ugh I'm thinking my ovulation date is wrong in my app, I've been doing clear blue tests for the last few days and it's still low. I've bought another pack in case I run out before it gets to peak! Last month I had an unusually long cycle but it still predicted around the usual time, not looking likely now though! Hope everyone else is having a better behaved cycle!

Glad I could be of some help 😊

@hjen22 you'll work it out. Keep testing! 🤞🤞

@BLMH I hope so! Nothing like something else to worry about 😂

How are you getting on? Have you managed some walks? It's absolutely freezing where I am (scotland) but it's been so nice to get out most days at lunchtime for a walk!

@hjen22 you're doing far better than me! I've wussed out of walking with the weather. Might have to start walking up and down the stairs!

I'm doing better than I was earlier in the week though. Thank you!