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Conception

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Unhappy, low libido and ttc

2 replies

TinyWolverine · 21/11/2020 16:52

Hi, I just joined.

Me and my s/o have been ttc for 10 months now. Apparently I have always had a low libido - past relationships always complained that we barely dtd every 2weeks (!). But I seem to have met my match with current partner. We went 6months without once and he didn't even notice. I think I'd be pretty happy with once a month or so, and it gets me really down sometimes. But our relationship is rock solid otherwise and I have zero concerns about fully committing to him and having a family, even if I often wish we got more bedroom time

Cut to last feb and we start ttc. At this point it was 3mo since we last dtd. I've not told a single person that we are ttc. I'm v close to my mum but not many friends around, plus lockdown etc. I've really been struggling recently not having anyone to talk to about this. Plus s/o's nan who brought him up just went into hospital so now he's even more distracted.

There is so much thought and planning I have to do. Taking tablets, temperatures, charts, opks... and all he has to do is bed me once a month but we can't even manage that. It feels like a joke to me now that he'll even come and ask 'oh did you do opk' then I say yes it was positive and he's like "yeah awesome" then doesn't ever mention it again and just rolls over if I try to get near him. In 10 months of "trying" we managed to dtd in fertile days maybe 3 times. I'm scared that I'm almost 34 now and only 3 real tries in only a year... if theres any fertility issues as well we don't know about we won't find out until its too late already. I don't really want to keep going after 35. I lost my dad young because he was older when I was born and I don't want that. Plus all the health risks associated etc

I feel so hopeless about it all. Like I should just give up and try to accept ill have a life without children and move on.

OP posts:
GreenApplesYo · 21/11/2020 18:45

Hi @TinyWolverine just read your post and didn't want to leave you hanging... Was just wondering if you've had a serious conversation with your partner about this?

I know everyone is different, but DTD once a month does seem like a small commitment from your partner. Really for TTC (as you probably know) it would be better to be doing it all through fertile week.

Ridethewaves · 22/11/2020 11:49

Sorry you're feeling down, it's so hard :(. I find TTC really doesn't help with libido, really takes away the fun!

Could you book a weekend away somewhere for when you predict you'll be fertile next month (with free cancellation if covid rules strike)? Maybe being somewhere new will give you chance to focus on each other and be extra romantic without as much pressure.

That said I think the previous poster is right regarding having a heart to heart conversation. Its lovely that you have such a strong relationship, hopefully will make talking things through/ addressing the issues a bit easier. Good luck Flowers

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