To really want a baby but Covid!

[Sparkles512]

Hi,

Does anyone else really want to start trying for a baby but think with Covid it's a really selfish thing to do?

it depends whether time is on your side or not, its not selfish at all

How old are you? What is your situation? X

It's not really selfish.

@cabinbythelake20 we have been married 3 years, own our house, financially secure.
I am 26 and husband is 30.

Nope. Besides, we're coming up to 9 months of it already, how long would you hold off for if the vaccine takes ages to roll out or doesn't work as well as they thought? I've been trying for a baby since Jan so these things can take a while, no point holding off in my opinion.

Also, aren't most of the reports saying hospitals aren't that badly affected? I know two babies born in the last week in two different trusts and neither parent had any NHS problems in terms of capacity.

We are in the same boat so interested to hear other opinions

How is that selfish?

@Juno231 that's a very good point it could be around for years!

I just worry about not being able to have my husband at appointments & scans etc?

@NavyBerry I guess adding extra pressure on the NHS?

I should wait until a more convenient time?

I'm not really sure just trying to figure out if having a baby in the middle of a pandemic is a good idea really?

Nope hasn’t stopped us! My OH is 40 and ttc baby #1. Covid delayed our wedding but we’ve decided to go ahead with ttc for his benefit and my broody-ness 😅. Definitely not selfish as you can’t put your life on hold for something you cannot control. We thought about the appointment thing and will be a bummer if he can’t come but I’m strong and feel confident enough to go to them alone but we have agreed to get a private scan which he would be allowed to come too.

I mean I’m 10 weeks tomorrow. No reason we couldn’t have waited other than we didn’t want to.

I don’t think it’s selfish. I think you lock people in their houses for extended periods and both the divorce and pregnancy rates will sky rocket goes one way or the other!

There’s nothing convenient once you have kids and life leads you down paths you may not expect. I see no problem in trying for a child the only thing that would be a worry was if my job was a stake. You can’t put your life on hold for the unknown though.

Also in terms of NHS the maternity services are very very different to the services which are battling covid.

Midwives are not getting redistributed to nurse covid patients they’re very different roles. So whilst lots of things like surgeries and routine treatments have had to be cancelled as they need the theatres/staff, the maternity wards are still there...just sat there functioning like before.

The only thing that is inconvenient is if you need a c-section as yes that does pull on resources like theatres and anaesthetists. It’s not the norm though. I hear (from midwife friends) that you are less likely to get an optional c-section now, because they struggle to justify it with so many other surgeries being cancelled. But I think that’s pretty fair.

I would say go for it. To be honest I think for everyone there is never going to be an ideal time. There is usually always something going on. But then I am biased and 24 weeks pregnant 😊 x

Hopefully if you're TTC now the worst of this will be over by the time baby arrives.
I had my baby late May and if I'd have known about Covid I'd definitely have waited / not bothered! Mat leave has been terrible.

I’m holding off for number 3.

Our school is sending home teachers in first and third trimester, I don’t want to let down the school and kids in such a shit time but putting more pressure on them by getting pregnant then expecting to not work in my job

Can't put your life in hold for the unknown.

We're holding off on baby #2. Mostly due to concerns over DP's job but also because I know that this will be my last baby, and I don't want the experience to be completely tainted by covid restrictions. My DD was premature and I went on to develop PND - I wouldn't have coped with limited hospital visiting hours or no home visits from my HV. That said, I have no judgement at all for anyone TTC or pregnant - life carries on, it always has.

It hasn't stopped me 18+5 weeks, never goona be the right time to have a baby, always going to be something that could happen. I think as long as ur in the position to raise a baby mentally and financially then why wait ? Also you never know how long it will take to fall pregnant and have to say I am high risk after having a Prem baby before and have got all the extra care needed and we have had private scans if DH wasn't allowed

I became pregnant before Covid and gave birth during lockdown. Limited husband involvement as a result. So that wasn't great.

I think you are conflating two issues really. Yes if it continues to roll on you might not have your husband at appointments and scans. That is nothing to do with being selfish though is it. I don't think it is selfish to continue the human race despite the pandemic. Obviously we all have our environmental impact to consider which I would consider more relevant.

It's always nice to have a new baby in the family. But with all the horrible stuff happening, it's extra special now. We all need something wonderful to look forward to. Good luck to you.

I guess we have to do what makes us happy as who knows what's around the corner!
Hopefully covid will be gone if we are lucky enough to get pregnant!