Bit of back story...
4 years ttc, no luck not even so much as a late period. Turns out dh had fertility issues (low quality, motility, low count, varicocele on testies)
We needed ivf with icsi, fast forward to round 2 of icsi and we have our DS, amazing! I'd never been happier.
Then, when he was 8 months old I found out I was pregnant after AF was 4 days late. Unfortunately we lost our baby in June. It was the hardest and most upsetting feeling. Especially after knowing that finally we could conceive ourselves
We've been TTC ever since, I'm obsessive. This month, I really truly thought it was it, had all the symptoms.
AF was due today, I had the tiniest bit of brown discharge when I wiped but nothing else. I POAS constantly and got BFN's. Haven't tested today as I'm guessing AF is about to make her unwanted arrival.
I can't stop wishing and wanting, it's taking over my life. Before I fell pregnant TTC hadn't crossed my mind as I assumed it would be an ivf process again which I can't put myself through, I almost lost my mind the first two times.
Does it ever get easier? DH knows it's taking its toll and I opened up to him properly tonight, thats took abit of weight off but it's really consuming.
Sorry to rant, I don't even know why I'm posting I'm just having such an off day. Everyone around me is having babies and I should be 7 months pregnant now.