Unbelievably broody at 22 🙃

[UrsaKate12x]

I’m so broody it hurts - and I’m only 22!!

I’ve felt broody for a baby for a long time - I think I was as young as 15 when it started. I’m doing my first year of uni now at 22, and I live with my 31 year old boyfriend of 3 years in a rented two bed terrace with a couple of pets. When we first got together my bf said he didn’t want children, but he’s since changed his mind and says one day he might. By this I think he means when I’m in my early 30s and we have bought a house of our own.

In my head I know that this is perfectly reasonable, that we should focus on our careers and buying a house and a car and getting settled. But in my heart I just feel such a pull to become pregnant. I feel like I want to be a younger mum, and I want my boyfriend to experience being a dad whilst he’s in his 30s not 40s (no offence to older parents!).

Just to make it really clear - I would never ‘accidentally on purpose’ become pregnant - it’s not ethical and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. But I often feel a really strong jealousy of women who have genuinely gotten pregnant by accident. Some of my friends have accidental babies and wish it would happen to me, but I’ve got an implant so it won’t happen. I sometimes lie awake at night imagining an unplanned pregnancy where there is nothing I could’ve done about it, and where me and my bf just decide to make the most of it and start preparing to have a baby. I know deep down it would be a scary and stressful event, but that my bf is so loving, understanding and kind that he’d be an absolutely wonderful father.

Sorry for venting! If anyone is in a similar boat this would make me feel better lol. Also if anyone on here has an older partner who became a parent in their 40s, I would love to hear your experiences so I can embrace the idea of being a mum in my 30s rather than 20s!!

Hi @UrsaKate12x I understand being broody it happens to all of us but I wouldn’t make any rash decisions because of it. My partner is 40 and we are TTC we are engaged (wedding cancelled due to covid) both have stable careers and cars, own home etc.

We are trying for baby no. 1. The biggest thing I would say is you need to discuss with your partner if you want kids and have a definite yes from both sides remember it’s a two way street. If you were to force it on it (get pregnant without him knowing you weren’t on contraception) it could be a 50/50 chance of him just walking and leaving you to be a single mum. You say you know your partner and We all say and and so know them (obviously) but you can never tell what they’re thinking in their head so really what I’m saying is we only know them to an extent just like they only know us to and extent.

You’re only your first year at uni too and have so much ahead of you and the work and studying only gets longer and harder from first year. I’ve graduated and could never imagine doing it with a baby. I had a friend who got pregnant when we left school and she is still yet to start uni she wants too but just can’t as her baby has had so many problems it’s really not as easy as it’s made out to be in films or on tv. Can you confidently say you can afford a baby whilst studying, has your boyfriend got a good career that could support you and a baby and pay all the bills and rent and put money in savings for your house you said you’re wanting to buy.

Your comment about wanting your partner to be a dad in his 30s not 40s from our experience there is absolutely no issue with my OH being a first time dad at 40 as he looks after himself and you wouldn’t think he’s a day over 30!

You may know this already but if your partner was to leave you with a baby and you weren’t married you would have very little support and rights when it comes to legal bsattles. Babies are all fun and cute in photos or when you see other people’s but when you have one 24/7 it’s a different story I’m not trying to lecture you I’m just hoping you can see the bigger picture and the benefits to waiting.

Hey!!!! I feel EXACTLY the same. I also lie awake at night and just think about holding my baby and how beautiful that would be. I'm a little bit older but not much, I'm 27, but I too am at uni. I'm in 2nd year. My husband wants kids now too but we both know we're not ready. But it is just suuuch a heart wrenching yearn for a baby isn't it? I am struggling so much with it. I wanted a baby before I turn 30 but we really don't have much money, no savings, lots of debt. It just wouldn't be responsible to have a baby right now but I also wish I could get pregnant accidentally haha. We don't use contraception, he just pulls out so we know we could get accidentally pregnant but we've done this for years and not gotten pregnant yet. But yeah I know exactly how you feel, I watch newborn vlogs on YouTube and look at baby stuff online and just think about it alllll the time. But we just aren't in the right position to have a baby. I wish I could make this feeling go away.