38 and starting to worry I’ve missed my chance

[Dumpling82]

Hi all, just looking for some reassurance really for anyone who’s started ttc at my age (38) or older. I always assumed I’d have kids by now but a series of chemical pregnancies a few years back knocked me for six, then job changes etc took over and it got put on hold. I’ve never felt hugely pressured before age wise but with 40 looming ever closer I’m starting to worry I’ve left it too late. Would love to hear from anyone who’s had success starting a family at this age or beyond x

I had a baby at 41, it's not so unusual these days. There's still time so don't worry but you better get started, good luck xx

I got pregnant at 38 after two cycles of trying, had an easy pregnancy, had a healthy baby weighing 7lb 6oz at 39...
Turned 40 last week and probably will try for our second at the beginning of 2022, when I'll be 42.

Stay positive!

Also I expected us to be the oldest couple at the classes you take before the birth (sorry haven't slept for a couple years and the name of those classes escape me now) but anyway every couple was our age group!

Thanks very much both! I’m not sure why it’s suddenly crept up on me, possibly because I’ve had a couple of comments recently from friends/family - nothing harsh, just enquiries about if children are on the cards or not - and I think that’s got under my skin. Plus lots of baby news at the moment in my friendship circle, people have been keeping busy during lockdown! X

I resided myself to not having a baby. My partner at the time would not have coped. Needless to say, we broke up and a week later met an amazing man. Fell pregnant 3 months later due to a condom mishap. Was convinced I wouldn't fall pregnant. We now have a 10 month baby girl and never been happy. My breakup, meeting him and having a baby all happened at 39 years old!

Maybe you're just ready for it now. Now they're here I kind of wish I'd done it earlier but I think if I had I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much (or been in a better work/financial position). There are lots of benefits of being an older parent, I think your age is a good one for TTC 👍

I got pregnant with my second child on my first cycle at 38. Had my baby a few weeks shy of 39. I took his and hers preconception vitamins, not sure if they helped but it certainly didn't do any harm!

I got pregnant first month of trying at 37, 39 and 41. I have a friend who had 3DC in her 40s (but she's Indian and they have later menopauses). So it's certainly possible. However, if it turns out you can't have DC that doesn't mean you can't have a fufilling and meaningful life. So good luck with TTC but also try and make sure you have a job you find rewarding and fill your free time with activities that you love (global pandemic not withstanding!).

Yes I got pregnant at 38 and baby came just before I turned 39. This is my second child and last. Go for it OP.

OP I’m very nearly 43, and just over 7 weeks pregnant with my first, after my first cycle of IVF with a sperm donor.
You’re nowhere near too old, but it needs to be because you’re ready, not because everyone else is putting on the pressure. Good luck!

Thanks very much everyone, this is all really reassuring! I’m annoyed at myself for getting sucked into the whole ‘clocks ticking’ thing, as I know logically that I’ve still got time. @Trixie18 I certainly feel more ready now mentally than I ever have before - if I’d had a baby in my 20’s think I’d have been a basketcase, feel like I’ve got a lot more to offer a child as a mother now I’m older :)

I fell pregnant on the first month of trying at just under 39. There's no way of knowing really, different for everyone but you won't know unless you try so get started!

Hi @Dumpling82 as you can see from my user name I started TTC at 37. I'm 38 now and currently 9 weeks pregnant. But we have had two miscarriages and at least four chemicals. My advice would be to start as soon as you can and if you have problems flag them with your GP as soon as you can to get in the system. We waited until we'd been trying a year before going to GP and now under care of specialists at Hospital but I believe you can ask to be referred if you have been trying for 6 months if you are over 35.

As others have said, there is no way of knowing if you will be lucky on cycle 1 but if you have issues it can be a slow process and time isn't on your side.

Hope this help, feel free to ask if you have any questions.

Although you have time, I'd perhaps recommend getting a fertility MOT done privately to put your mind at ease? I don't want all of us telling you you have time when perhaps you don't, especially as so many couples struggle with conceiving. In fact - you might be fine but your OH might not be? Best get it all checked out so you know what you're dealing with.