TTC after a Missed Miscarriage

[Mustkeepgoing2]

Hi

I was wondering if anyone wanted to join me in TTC again.

I suffered a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks in October and was completely devastated. I did opt for the surgery but because of the wait time miscarried naturally before my scheduled surgery.

My cycle returned 29 days after my miscarriage bleed and I am now on my period. I am now three days into my first cycle and we are thus going to start TTC again now. Hopefully it won't take long.

The purpose of this thread is for support and to share experiences along the way of TTC again after loss.

I hope there might be other ladies who might want to join me who are at the same or similar stage as me and are TTC again. It can be such a difficult and confusing time xxx

@RichmondLady1981 I tend to go through phases of feeling super positive, and then feeling like it will never happen.
I suppose that's natural.
My cycles are 26 days now. Before MC they were 28-30, but have been shorter since, not sure if that's a bad thing or not!
How long are your cycles?

My first AF was horrific, very painful and had to just sit on the toilet for half hour. I’d liken it to my miscarriage tbh. But it had been 18 weeks

@nizo1245 mine used to be bang on 29 days before mmc. They have been varying between 29 and 35 days. Doesn’t sound long but it felt it at the time! 😛

I think they say as long as your luteal phase is at least 10/11 days, it’s fine. X

@TTCROYGBIV so sorry to hear that! Was it after surgery or medical management?

@RichmondLady1981 medical first, surgical then surgical again, over 8/9 weeks. Then waited 18 weeks for AF

@RichmondLady1981 anything a day longer than usual can feel forever, I totally agree with you.
Yeah, I've read the same about the luteal phase.
Trying not to overthink it, but it's weird when your body decides that something totally different is normal now.

@nizo1245 sorry to hear of your mc. It took me 8 months the first time and then another 8 months after my mmc. I found myself so stressed that I needed to be pregnant by the original due date and thought it was never going to happen. I even had private fertility tests which came back fine. After the due date I really gave up but felt freed from the chain of that pregnancy. I fell pregnant the next month.

@Chanel05 thank you so much for sharing that, and sorry to hear about your MMC.
That's actually really good to know. I know what you mean about feeling free after the original due date.
I have days when I think I'm ready to give up and just see what happens, and then other days where I still feel completely obsessive about it.
My original due date was the end of October, so hopefully I can really let it go now and just get on with life and letting it happen when it happens.

Feeling a bit all consumed by the MMC this morning. I always wake up in the morning sad, not necessarily teary, but sad when I know and realise I am not pregnant and I lost the baby.

I am sure it gets easier but sometimes it just hits me.

Xxx

@Mustkeepgoing2 I promise it does get easier. It’s important for you to go through and ‘embrace’ this sad time as grieving properly truly does help you get through it and allow you to move on. My mmc was in June and although I’ll never forget, I am able to try and rationalise what happened and try to look to the future. It will happen to you too. If you feel the need to cry, just let it out and don’t hold back. You’ll get so much strength from these forums. Lots of love x

Thank you @RichmondLady1981
It is hard and I try not to make is all consuming although in all honesty I cannot tell you how many times it slips back into my thoughts throughout the day. What might have been.
My ectopic due day would be the 12th Jan which plays on my mind too now that is does not seem far away at all although I guess my MMC due date would be the 20th May which is proof you can conceive again relatively quickly and it can be in the right place.
I had the pathology results back today and there was nothing abnormal with the foetus so it is hard to not overthink what could have gone wrong.
I do think that when I hopefully conceive again I will push for progesterone shots and baby aspirin.
I agree with you though. You do have to let the grieving happen and in a lot of ways whilst I am working I am grateful to be able to WFH during lockdown so I can do this all privately.
These forums are proving so helpful for me though. It is difficult to take to people who haven't been through it without feeling like maybe I am making a fuss.
I think unless you join this horrible 'club' it is so hard to full appreciate the pain that that baby loss brings.

Hope everyone is okay
Xxx

Xxx

How are you getting on @RichmondLady1981.

I have my fingers crossed for you xxxx

@Chanel05 I really relate to what you said about being out of the timeframe (cycle? circle?) of the previous, lost, pregnancy being significant. I had a MMC in March at what I thought was 10 weeks but baby had stopped developing at 7.5. My due date was in October and for swathes of the months leading up to that I was obsessed about being pregnant again before the due date arrived. Then when it didn't happen and now it has passed I almost feel it's been better for me emotionally this way. That said, I probably would have said the opposite if I had conceived again before the due date... and I didn't really have any choice in the matter as we were trying and nothing happened! Just making the best either way, I suppose.

I'm so sad to see so many of us in this same, unfortunate club, but it's lovely to 'meet' you all nonetheless. I am 2DPO this cycle, we started TTC about two months after the MMC so in May, but it's gone all serious this cycle with the addition of ovulation tests so we'll see what comes of that, if anything. I hope you are all managing to heal, even if only in small ways, and I would love to hear about anything anyone has done to do that or any new self-care strategies anyone's taken on post-MMC (whether with the aim of fertility boosting or not).

@Mustkeepgoing2 I feel the same. Our baby would have been born on NYE so that’s also in the back of my mind. I think we have to try and focus on all the good things we have in our lives and feel grateful for that. There are people who have so much sadness in their lives.

I also found out that our baby had a trisomy syndrome. We paid to have numerous tests after the mmc surgery and this was found. I’ve had so many consultations and the specialists say that just because there was an abnormality this time, it’s quite unlikely to happen again. I know what you mean about no one really understanding but I found that more people than we know have suffered Mc. I deal with things by talking about my Mc to others, and I can’t believe how many people responded with ‘me too’ or that they knew someone close to them who’d been through the same. It’s tough to hear but Mc are human nature, and it’s because we are human that they happen. Doesn’t make it ok I know.

On CD1 today! Lovely AF turned up. Really thought I could have been pregnant this time but that told me!!! Poured myself a glass of wine and opened the dark chocolate. 😂

Sorry to hear this @RichmondLady1981. Enjoy your wine and dark chocolate though. I might join you and thank you for being so positive. It's a really great perspective to have on it all.

@apapuchi Welcome and sorry for your loss.

We will all get there and I already feel excited about the BFP test pictures this group will hopefully soon have xxx

I think the worst thing I got told after my mmc was that you're "super fertile" after a mc. This is anecdotal, no statistics whatsoever. A perfectly healthy, fertile couple are likely to fall pregnant again within a year and I think those anecdotes give you false hope.

hi everyone, nice to catch up on all your messages.
funny what u say about having your due date in the back of your minds-i feel like that date will always mean something to us.
@Chanel05 u r so right, u hear so many ppl say they get pregnant again realy quickly after a mc but i know we have to be realistic about the chances.
@Mustkeepgoing2 totally agree with what u say, that unless u belong to this horrible "club" people just dont really get it. i mean, in a way why should they, i never ever imagined we'd be in this position and its fair to say i didnt appreciate fully what other people i knew had been through previously. I do get the sense ppl r starting to talk about it more as it really is so common. had a call with GP the other day and when just talking to him had mentinoed about this, and he didnt brush over it all and said although common itreally is not discussed. so, we r trying not to feel like it's something to be ashamed of and swept under the carpet (which u kinda feel like it is as theres the whole not telling ppl before 12 weeks) . finding the support from some friends invaluable tho and glad we told them.
anyway hope every1 is doing ok? wine and chocolate sounds a good idea @RichmondLady1981!!!

How is everyone doing?

CD 15 today and nearing ovulation.

All feels a bit nerve racking xx

Hi everyone. Hope all doing well. CD 9 so all a bit slow. Been nice not having to POAS for a while. Not due to ov until CD18 or 19 but noticed EWCM today. I always seems to get if a few days after period stopped but no positive OPK to match. Weird. Then goes away and the comes back CW 17. Body always keeping me guessing.

Hi all, I’m CD 13 but not really sure when I’ll ovulate as I’ve never really tracked it.

I’m trying to be all casual about trying again but it’s not really working!

I got to CD15 and started period again! No temp change so no ovulation.

Currently CD2, decided to start taking B6 and other vits. Hopefully my cycle will return to normal soon. Had a scan today to check infection clear from 6 weeks ago and she said I had lots of follicles so that’s good news!

That's great news @TTCROYGBIV and a really good sign things are going back to normal for you.

@pixienewbie you have to do what's right for you. I personally am one of those people that just needs to know. Uncertainty and me do not work well together.
I got my peak yesterday so it's fingers crossed from here as I guess I am in the TWW

@RichmondLady1981 I get this CM too. I don't know why. I normally ovulate late but think it was either CD 16 or CD 17. I don't currently temp as I have a toddler who still gets up at 5ish so I was worried it might be inaccurate but am going to give it a go next month. What thermometer do you use/would you recommend?

I joined the group you recommended but I think it might be more early pregnancy focused so until I get lucky I might just focus on this one. Hope that's okay x

I have started taking B complex, Zinc and Vitamin C in addition to my conception tablets. If you turn me upside down I think I would rattle.

@Mustkeepgoing2 I have a toddler too. He gets me up at 6am but it’s consistent. As long as you’re going to bed and getting up and the same time each day (or thereabouts ) it can work. I just use one of the mumsnet thermometers that links with your phone manually to the app. As long as it measures to two decimal places, it’s fine. They all do the job. Have a good practise before you start up and just check that the temps you are getting are consistent. For example, I her a slight diff reading if I switch to the left side under my tongue to the right side. Weird I know so I try to keep everything the same. 😆

Haha I’ve started lots of B vitamins too. To help with l phase. Mines between 10 and 12 days. Not too bad but would like longer.

Not sure which group I recommended?

Hi everyone,

Can I join please? I had a MMC and miscarried on 14th October. Got my first AF a couple of days ago after almost 6 weeks and I'm on CD3.

Gearing myself up to get back on the TTC bandwagon and have my opks ready for next week!

Good luck to everyone coming up to ovulation or in their TWW.

@Mustkeepgoing2 I’ve just luckily conceived quickly both times of trying so haven’t even thought about ovulation much.
Think we’ll relax this month and enter the OPK world next month. I still hold out some hope for a 2021 baby which might be a bit ambitious.

Sounds like there are a few of us on here with toddlers already!