Advice please

[LRboop]

Hi there, hoping you can help me or ease my mind.

Started TTC September 2019. Got pregnant in March this year but had a missed miscarriage end of May. My cycle was all over the place for a couple of months and looks like I've been ovulating the last 2 months but no joy getting pregnant. My main problem is my head and being extremely anxious. I find the TTW torture to the point I feel most calm when I have my period because I'm not obsessing so much. Living with covid and lockdown is really hard too as I've nothing to take my mind off things.

Do you think I should pursue IVF? I'm getting the fertility tests done again (privately) at the moment. I'm 34 and have PCOS. I'm on metformin for the PCOS and just started an antidepressant for my anxiety. Any tips or advice is appreciated.

Really sorry to hear about your MC.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things, you are getting fertility tests, you are treating your PCOS and your anxiety. Nobody can tell you whether IVF is right for you. You are the only one who can make this call. Your doctor will explain your options and then the decision is yours. Best of luck! ❤️

Thanks so much for your reply @eloiseislost. I really appreciate it. Yes, I just need some luck on my side. I feel that if I could stop obsessing about getting pregnant the stress would go away and I’d find it easier to get there. Wish I could get a baby lobotomy. Also wish I wouldn’t feel so much pain and grief when I see other people with bumps/babies. The bitter feeling is horrible to have. But I’ll try my best to accept where I am and be grateful for what I have. Thanks again for listening. Just putting this out there helps a little x

I completely understand where you are @LRboop. I am in a kind of similar situation to you, 34, with PCOS and an anxiety disorder. On top of that my husband has an ED so we use self-insemination. It's a constant struggle. It just sucks! I think about it all the time, I'm either on my period and devastated, or trying to pinpoint ovulation, or symptom spotting and peeing on a stick obsessively and staring at stark white pregnancy tests. Aaaaand repeat!
My best friend of 20+ years is due any day now and how I wish I was excited, but the truth is I'm just bitter and sad that it's not me. And I feel horrible about it because I adore my friend. So I'm swallowing a horrendous mix of bitterness and guilt and try to pretend I'm happy. It's exhausting and it feels unfair for some reason.
So you are not alone, so many women go through similar situations right now or have in the past or will in the future. We just don't talk about it. Which is why I find this forum a source of some relief. Because I can say all the crazy things that go through my mind and there is no judgement, just understanding and empathy.
I truly wish you all the best! 💕

Oh wow, very similar. Thanks for sharing, makes me feel not so alone. I feel so much compassion for you/us. It really does help talking like this openly and being understood. It’s so understandable to be sad about your friend. It’s just such a strange emotion. And it’s so unfair. I really wish all the best for you too. Xx