Trying for third baby - learning to cope with disappointment of period

[albairlanda]

Husband finally has agreed to 3rd baby. We got pregnant by accident late 2018 but had termination as was about to lose job and husband really didn't want the baby. Husband has finally agreed to 3rd baby. Tried for first time this month. I'm 38. Daughter is 9 and son is 6. Both conceived first attempt. Very lucky I know. We tried when I was ovulating. Used an app and discharge monitoring to work out when and after a few days trying I started to feel nauseous and had a very swollen round tummy. I don't usually bloat and was thinking this must be it. Wow we are good (feel very foolish now). Husband giddy too and we started thinking names. Tried to keep saying I may not be. The queasiness went away after a week and then returned on and off. Boobs sore after ovulation but then that went away too. Usually get horrendous PMS but not this month. Was thinking maybe because I was so happy about finally having third. Belly continued to ridiculously bloat. And then last night, two days early belly starts to really hurt. Usually don't cramp but it was all night long and a dull ache. Tried to keep up hope but today I've been bleeding. First it was brown (not usual) and a bit grainy and stringy, then pinky, then by the afternoon red. Still watery but red and not just when wiped now but also when I weed. Eventually gave in and put a tampon in. I felt sick yesterday even, queasy and off colour. Felt so unbelievably disappointed. Been crying all day. Sounds pathetic. Bloat has gone now. Just seems different to usual. Usually feel like I'm going to explode emotionally and physically when period comes but this month not at all. Anyway, all too much information but I'm just thinking maybe I can't cope with this. I have light periods and maybe I'm not able to conceive because I'm 38. It's going to totally break me as really want to. Didn't take pregnancy conception hormones so need to start doing that. Was wondering if maybe I was pregnant but lost it because I've been doing HIIT workouts since March. I stopped doing the sit ups and stuff but now I'm thinking that could I have overdone it. Don't know what I'm hoping for with this post. Just wanted to outpour. Cannot believe how sad I feel.

Did you take a test at all? With the symptoms you seemed to have I’d have thought taking a test would have been the easiest way to find out if you had been pregnant or not.

I’m also 38 and have 3dc, youngest is 6, all were conceived within 2 cycles of ttc. I knew being much older this time would have an impact on things though.

We’ve been ttc for 14 months now. I fell pregnant back last year but sadly mc at 9 weeks in January of this year, then had chemicals in both March and June.

I was referred for fertility testing after the chemical in June, but all blood tests and scans showed everything was perfect, I ovulate regularly, hormone levels are great, scans showed plenty of eggs and follicles. Oh had a semen analysis (he’s only 30), and those results were fab too. So basically it just comes down to my age and the fact that my egg quality isn’t what it was a few years ago.
It’s just a case of carry on trying and hope that one month I’ll release an egg that’s still of good quality and it sticks!

If I was you I really would start on some pregnancy supplements, at the very least folic acid and vit d. They say ideally to take them for 3 months before ttc so your body can build up a good reserve.
I also take 200mg of ubiquinol daily as this helps with improving egg quality in older women.
I hope you have a simpler ttc journey than I have so far! Good luck 😊

Thanks so much. I did a one step strip this afternoon but it was negative (also out of date...from abortion clinic in 2018. Out of date by a few months). I've ordered vitamins and I'm going to order ubiquinol now. Thanks so much for the advice.

I'm going to keep trying. I think I had a chemical in 2018 as well which wasn't planned. Still upsetting.

I'm cramping so badly and in my back which is unusual for me so wondering if this is more than a period but I think I'd have had a positive test. Thanks for sharing your experience. Means the world. I only joined Mumsnet today to confide in someone about how awful I felt. Thank you. I hope that you get number four very soon. X

Can I ask where you buy ubiquinol capsules?

Honestly, it’s no problem at all. I know what it’s like to feel pretty alone in this whole ttc thing, and most of the time I feel totally overwhelmed and consumed by it all.

If your symptoms and period feel different to usual for you then it’s quite possible you’ve had another chemical (I’m sorry to hear about your previous one).

When I had my chemicals, I tested positive a week of so before my period was due, then the day it was due or a few days later I’d bleed.

With one I tested positive on a clear blue digital and got a 1-2 weeks. I then tested a week later expecting to get a 2-3 but it still showed 1-2. I knew then something was wrong. 2 days later I got a not pregnant and that same day I started bleeding.

I truly hope you feel better soon and that this period/bleed is over for you quickly.

www.naturesbest.co.uk/co-q10/co-q10/ubiquinol-100mg/?src=GONATO&gclid=CjwKCAiA-f78BRBbEiwATKRRBAVQZSLHosKWuO6_DXWC46bzsikPvGtXgsJ9FZz46bH6O1WITpRx2BoCjzQQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

This is where I buy my ubiquinol from, it’s the highly absorbent kind that your body can easily absorb. It’s also not badly priced.

Don’t get too down about it as it may not have been a chemical? If you hadn’t gotten a positive pregnancy test then I’d believe it’s just a bad period x

Thanks. I'd like to think wasn't a chemical. The massive bloat I had and the sickness convinced me I was pregnant but I still feel really sick so thinking there's potentially another cause for that that's not baby related. Bloat has gone down. Bad period definitely. Think I did a few things wrong to be honest. No vitamins for a start and probably didn't 'try' early enough the days before the ovulation date.