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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

So sad about not being able to get pregnant.

46 replies

TickleThePickle · 31/10/2020 00:18

AF is due on Monday, I did a test today and it was negative. I just know I am not. We have been having sex without contraception for 2-3 years and nothing has happened.
DP has had his sperm check and its all ok- I need some tests next which I am waiting on but I kinda know in my heart of hearts that its not going to happen and I am struggling to deal with it.
IVF isn't an option although I would consider an IUI but DP isn't keen on interventions like that. It makes me so sad every month. To make it worse my periods are really painful and everyone else around me seems to be pregnant. Just sad about it.

OP posts:

BigSandyBalls2015 · 01/11/2020 20:20

How old are you OP?

We tried for 4 years in our late 20s/early 30s and had started to give up hope .... then fell pregnant with twins naturally.

Porridgeoat · 01/11/2020 20:31

You need to ask the GP for a day 21 progesterone test and the results need to be over 30. Most female fertility issues can be resolved with clomid which is just a tablet that helps women ovulate properly eggs need a bit of help. If your GP is slow opt for a private assessment. I went via the Shire, had blood tests, scan and tablets remarkably fast. Then conceived. If you explain to your GP you’ve been trying for years though you will be entitled to progesterone tests. However GPs are very badly informed about fertility. Not their area

greenjavapiano · 01/11/2020 21:52

Don’t lose hope OP. We’re also TTC for 2-3 years but my DP won’t even do a semen analysis. He is against medical interventions, in general not just fertility. Others have mentioned on this forum that NHS is prescribing clomid/letrozole even in unexplained infertility, which may be an option for you.
I did get a BFP a few months ago but nothing since. I’m hoping that persistence will pay off eventually

Original poster

TickleThePickle · 02/11/2020 16:04

My AF just arrived so that's me done for this month. I feel gutted.

Saw a friend earlier who has just had a baby- he was just perfect, like a little bag of sugar and I can't stop crying. I was so please for her because she looks amazing for having just had a baby and so content with her little family. I just feel really sad that another month has passed and there is no sign of getting pregnant.

I have called my GP surgery and have an appointment booked for this week so at least that's something. I just feel so sad :( Hopefully we can get the tests moving forwards and fix whatever is causing the problem

OP posts:

MilkshakeandChips5 · 02/11/2020 22:20

Jumping on board to echo everyone else's struggles. We've been trying for 10 months and no hint of anything positive with AF showing up like clockwork every month. It's really tough. My sister and two best friends have both announced pregnancies and keep saying how great it would be if I was trying too - if only they knew! I'm finding each month a little tougher and this month I know it's a negative even though AF isn't due till Saturday but pre-AF symptoms are also like clockwork.

I'm trying to stay positive by thinking about the things we can do and remember that it's all luck and we're still youngish at 31 - patience has NEVER been a strength of mine!

Original poster

TickleThePickle · 04/11/2020 10:30

@MilkshakeandChips5 sorry to hear that you are going through the same. People have made similar comments to me and I scream inside my head because I am trying!

I spoke with my GP today and he would like to check my bloods again, mainly my Iron and ferritin - I know they will be low as they always are. I am taking supplements so I will continue to do that. He also wants me to lose weight and has given me a target weight which is about 3 stone away!!! Feels like an impossible task but I am going to take it 1 stone at a time and use this as my motivation.
He said once I hit my target weight he will refer me to a fertility specialist so I guess there is light at the end of the tunnel.......I just need to stop eating cookies when I feel sad about the lack of baby!

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 04/11/2020 10:32

I agree a lot can be done before IVF needs even to be considered. Good luck.

Anon778833 · 04/11/2020 10:41

I’m so sorry - you sound really sad. I have a work friend who tried for years to have a baby. She had her husband are 32 and they’ve just had a baby girl via IVF. Don’t give up hope

CurbsideProphet · 04/11/2020 15:25

@TickleThePickle I'm sorry you're going through this. I've found out recently that I'm not actually ovulating which is why I'm not getting pregnant - a blood test showed testosterone and androgen are both raised. This was a big surprise as previously the GP had just told me I needed to relax 🙄 I'm nearly 35 so I'm cross that I was made to think I'm a hypochondriac for 7 months. I'm seeing a fertility specialist privately rather than wait another 3 months for the NHS, but I appreciate that's not an option for everyone.

Is your GP offering any support with weight loss?

Chica1990 · 04/11/2020 16:32

@TickleThePickle if you think about it lockdown is the best time to get going with this! I have a fertility diet around cutting sugar and refined carbs and found it a breeze to stick to in lockdown as I had time to make myself a suitable breakfast and lunch. I found as soon as I started seeing people again I’d be tempted by sugary drinks and meals with refined carbs.

Hopefully you are working from home or furloughed to really try and get into it and have time to do some exercising. I recommend Lily Sabri’s YouTube videos. Good luck!

MilkshakeandChips5 · 09/11/2020 15:58

Hi!

Coming back to you to hopefully share some good news. After 10 long months (11 cycles) I got a BFP this weekend. I had zero symptoms and was adamant that AF was on the way. I did have one wave of nausea but I also ate a pack of chocolate fingers because I was feeling sorry for myself (yes, the whole pack) so the cause of said nausea is debatable. Interestingly my husband is adamant that he knew because apparently my nipped look different - I'm not sure how to take this. Anyhow, I know how tough the journey is but want to send you all some motivation - it is possible even if it doesn't quite happen as easily as the TV makes out.

Wishing you all a lot of luck.

Original poster

TickleThePickle · 10/11/2020 22:08

@MilkshakeandChips5 congrats on your BFP.

My bloods came back and my iron is really low so apparently that can effect your fertility. I have so much stress going on in life at the mo (this included) that I am wondering if I just need to take a step back from it and get everything in check. Some of the stuff that is stressing me will be over soon like moving house so I feel I will be in a better frame of mind to lose weight and fix my body in an attempt to get pregnant.

OP posts:

Alady1 · 11/11/2020 05:55

Hi Ladies, mind if jump in? Myself and DP been trying for about 3 years now, had some tests done and apparently nothing wrong with us and keep trying. I always thought that I will manage to get pregnant naturally, but I was wrong and instead I get more frustrated every single month and I have now have to accept that I need to ask for more help. Given the current lockdown and pandemic, will GP say I am absolutely crazy asking for a referral now? I'm 33 and really don't want to waste more time.
All the best to all of you!

MilkshakeandChips5 · 11/11/2020 09:50

@TickleThePickle moving house is the most stressful thing ever - I really feel for you. It's a really difficult decision and only you can decide, I know a lot of people who choose to step back. In my experience, I found not trying more stressful. It sounds crazy but I was so aware of my cycles and the timings that I found it more stressful not trying but my brain may be a little weird.

Chica1990 · 11/11/2020 12:42

@Alady1 I don’t think they will think you’re crazy for wanting a referral now. If fertility services are still open then I would get going ASAP! It’s a slow process on the nhs so I would get going ASAP especially as you’ve been waiting for this for 3 years already. Good luck xx

InescapableDeath · 11/11/2020 12:52

I’d remind your DH that he has the easy bit of IVF so it’s worth considering. It may depend on age though. I was 30 when I went through it, it’s a harder battle as you get older.

Original poster

TickleThePickle · 11/11/2020 12:57

@MilkshakeandChips5 we will probably keep doing it with out contraception but I think my brain needs a break from the apps and opks etc. I'm driving myself insane.

@Alady1 I have spoken to my GP about my fertility several times during lockdown and I even said I felt silly asking him about something so trivial given we were in the middle of a pandemic, he said if the surgery didn't have the capacity to deal with it then he wouldn't have discussed my options with me. He was nice and said that we have to try and keep as much as normal as possible.

OP posts:

Alady1 · 11/11/2020 13:09

@Chica1990 oh thank you xx. That gives me a bit of hope. I was just feeling embarrassed to call and ask.
@TickleThePickle. Moving houses is stressful, we went through that last year, I also had a stressful job until end of last year too so I had to change that too. My cycles are so regular, I could even tell you what hour AF is coming, but same as you I was still tracking ovulation and using app, gave up a few months back, obviously nothing happened but to be fair it took the pressure off for a bit.
Thank you for sharing, I'll call my GP then without hesitation. Wish you all the best!

Mylittlepony374 · 11/11/2020 13:20

It took us 5 years to have our first. It was hell. Particularly after we got married (2 years after we started trying,) and then everyone decided it was their business to ask when we were having kids. I cried a lot. I felt like I'd failed as a woman, my body couldn't do the thing it was designed to do. I don't know what really did it in the end but I suspect it was weight loss. I had thrown myself into walking as a hobby (up mountains etc) and subsequently lost a good bit of weight. Got positive test the night before I was due in hospital for hysteroscopy (spelling?) and other investigations.
I hope you get the baby you so desperately want because I know your pain and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

wannabemum38 · 12/11/2020 00:42

Reading these messages make me sad that there are so many of us struggling but also nice to read the support amongst you all.
I turned 40 during lockdown. We have been trying since I came off the pill last June although had a few months of not trying as it was getting us down.
I didnt bother getting in touch with my doctor about it during lockdown as felt it wasnt urgent enough during a pandemic but wish I had as she has been so nice.
I am having blood tests done to start with and see what they come back with and my DH is having his sperm analysed. We will then go from there. Hopefully get some answers soon I am really worried its me and I cant have kids. Can not bear the idea.

Copernico · 12/11/2020 04:16

OP, clearly there are options to consider before IVF and there are never guarantees but I just wanted to add my story.

I’d been against IVF because I thought it would be so emotionally and financially draining. Everyone I knew who’d done IVF had been through the ringer, even if most of them ultimately did have a child.

I got pregnant on first round of IVF, no complications and have a healthy 2 year old. My only regret is waiting so long because of my fear.

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