Does stress affect implantation? Or conceiving in general

[sunshinelollipops98]

Will try to keep this short and sweet!

Me and my partner are both quite healthy and quite young. Happy and settled (wedding postponed for the foreseeable due to covid and us basically wanting both of our large families to be able to be there!) and have just finished our first month TTC

It’s a BFN and AF is due tomorrow and it’s definitely coming got all my symptoms I don’t have any feelings that this’ll be a late positive or anything, I’m definitely not pregnant.

I was a bit upset as I feel I hear all the time people my age just falling pregnant and it being 1st time etc, I stupidly got my hopes up!

But I suffered a major loss close to me in September. This took its toll on me and still kind of is although now my emotions aren’t as extreme, I sometimes just get pangs of sadness missing my loved one.

Due to the stress of this my period was extremely late (I had a 49 day cycle) and I noticed this month OPKs seemed very light even though I hit a peak and got a static smiley on clear blue! I didn’t have many ovulation symptoms either

Could this have affected our chances of conceiving? Should I focus on trying to be stress free (or the least stressed I could be) and happy before thinking we’ll be successful?

(Also I have been cycle tracking for 3 months leading up to trying, we just used condoms as a barrier in those months so I felt my OPKs this month were a lighter and not as dark as I would usually get)

And we’ve both been taking pre natal vitamins and used pre seed this month!

Which made my concern grow as I assumed those factors combined with age meant we’d have a good shot this month

Hey, first of all so sorry to hear of your loss I’m in the exact same position as you and me and hubby have been trying for 5 months now which is not actually long compared to some of the lovely ladies on here! I watched a documentary the other day on Netflix called Fertility Explained it’s one of the episodes on the Sex explained series. I found it so informative and so many facts on there I didn’t know! Made me feel much better about the fact we haven’t fallen pregnant yet as there are so many factors to it! Worth a watch! Me and hubby are doing the sperm meets egg plan now so you could look into that also! As for the stress I don’t think it will stop you conceiving or staying pregnant as there are so many women on here who say they are told to relax and not stress as they have not fallen pregnant and they get really angry about it as it’s thrown about there like it’s so easy to get pregnant if you just relax I’m sorry I don’t have any more advice other then keep doing what your doing and we will get there fingers crossed very soon! Sending baby dust your way xx

Hi @sunshinelollipops98 I’m sorry you’ve had such a stressful month. I’m not sure about stress and ovulation. But in terms of Increasing chances of conception there is only so much you can do. Getting pregnant is kind of a numbers game....there’s a lot of luck and chance involved and you can’t make it happen the harder you try. It is time, luck and more time. If egg and spermicide meet there is a 30% chance you will conceive. To play those odds you kinda need to wait for your luck to come in. (As well as DTD frequently and trying to hit ovulation). Of course you can increase your health, egg and quality Etc...but that doesn’t change all the Chance things that need to happen.

That’s not to put a downer on it for you, but to let you know that’s this isn’t all on you. It’s not about how hard you try. It’s trying to make this process less hard on yourself so you can wait for that luck to come in.

It is gutting to hear some people get pregnant first cycle. But that is just luck! It’s tough but we need to find ways to be kind to ourselves through this. We can’t make it happen(try as we might!) we have to wait. It’s out if our control and that can be hard...but it can also mean we can let go a little.

I’m sorry this wasn’t your cycle, and fingers crossed for you that luck comes in for you soon x

@sunshinelollipops98 sorry for your loss 💐, extreme stress can stop the reproductive system working properly. However even a young healthy couple only have a 20% chance of conceiving each cycle, so try not to get down about it, it's still very early days. Great that your taking vitamins and using pre-seed, that will definitely help. I'm doing the same and I'm 29 but 1st and 2nd cycle didn't work, hoping 3rd cycle will!

Thank you so much everyone for you condolences!

And the advice mainly. I did this thread as a way to reassure myself as it seems I subconsciously keep looking for reasons why it didn’t happen this month.

But reading this has just made me feel quite calm and realise it is a roll of the dice! The dice just didn’t land the way we wanted it to this month

Thank you again for the advice it really has made me feel better and I will be having a look at that Netflix documentary!

Good luck for TTC ladies! Hopefully we all get a sprinkle of baby dust asap xxx

I hate it when people say "Relax and it will happen". No, just NO.
My GP used to work with Doctors Without Borders and when I asked him about stress and conception, he told me about women in third world countries he had treated during their pregnancy. No way having no clean, running water is relaxing!
Also, I find the notion misogynistic; nobody says "if your DP relaxes, it will happen".
And last but not least, it's essentially putting the blame on you. It's your fault you haven't conceived because you are stressed.
No, just NO.

I am really sorry you suffered a major loss and you should allow yourself time to grieve and be sad, angry and worried. Our bodies are as amazing as they are complex and conception is both of these things to the maximum. As others have pointed out, the odds are stacked against you, you only have about 20-25% chance if your timing is perfect every month. Yet, the vast majority of couples fall pregnant within a year. So it might take 1 month, it might take 12! Don't be too hard on yourself, you are doing all you can. The rest is up to chance! Baby dust to you! 🧚🏼‍♀️❤️

Sorry you’re having a hard time. I listened to a podcast called the big fat negative and they had a man come on and talk about stress, and he said the problem is when people tell you not to stress when you are already stressed about conceiving, is that you are then stressed about being stressed - so double stressed! He said you may as well just be stressed about conceiving and not stress further about doing so.

A couple of my friends have felt really down and upset when trying and they conceived, it doesn’t just happen to all the relaxed unsuspecting people! And Eloise made a great point that people in third world countries and war torn countries get pregnant and they surely can’t be relaxed!

Try and keep a constant supply of fellas going up there in the lead up to and during ovulation. Good luck!