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Conception

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TTC1 for a year, please help

4 replies

AquarianOwl · 20/10/2020 10:55

Not really sure what I'm looking for, some reassurance I suppose? Experiences? I think I just need to vent.

Yesterday I started CD1 of cycle 15, I got my implant out end of September 2019 and I'm still not pregnant, not even a chemical or anything at all. I'm terrified and just really struggling.

I feel like I've somehow destroyed my body because my cycles have been all kinds of messed up for the last year. I used to get painful periods, lots of cramps for the first 2 days, very heavy, and my periods used to last about 5 days. Pretty normal. Since I came off the implant, I get virtually no period cramps, maybe a few on day 1, and I'm very light bar a few clots and it often lasts around 2 days. I have incredibly painful ovulation, like stabbing pains and insane pressure on the ovary, usually alternating ovaries every month. I can barely stand when it's bad, but it normally only lasts 12 hours or so. I called the doctors after a particularly bad episode in April and they said because of covid they can't refer me to gynae. I'm going to call back again soon to see if they can see me yet.

We had to take a 3 month break from March because of how badly my mental health was affected, even then. I mostly ignore the way I feel now but sometimes it really gets to me.

I feel even worse because I actually had a termination in February 2019, and I feel like that was my chance and I've missed it. I know it's my fault and I don't get to be upset about that because it was my choice, but I found it so traumatising that I'm actually fairly sure I have mild PTSD from it, which makes it even harder when I get my period every month. I get flashbacks sometimes.

To make matters even worse my sister is now a few months pregnant, her and her husband have a few times laughed about how easy it was to get pregnant, it happened straight away for them. No one knows we've been TTC so I can't blame her and I want to be happy for her, it just feels like a knife in my stomach every time I see her or hear from her. Unfortunately she tells my mam and I about virtually every tiny thing that happens, and she keeps sending pictures of all the baby stuff she's already bought, etc. Probably irrational but now I almost don't want to get pregnant because in my family ill be seen as copying her and no one will care about it as much as they care about her being pregnant. I especially don't want to be pregnant at the same time as she is, but then I also think I should get over myself and get on with my life.

But clearly, after this long, it's probably not meant to be. We should just give up shouldn't we? I'm sorry if you've read all this, I just had to get it out somewhere.

OP posts:
Bouncycastle12 · 20/10/2020 13:28

I hope you’re ok - it is a brutal time. It can just take time though. I got pregnant after 13 months first time, and that felt like forever. And had the same thing with my (younger) sister. Def felt like the “first grandchild” was more exciting. It can take time for your body to adapt after the implant and if you took a break too, that also reduces the “trying” time but vent away! It’s so stressful.

SparkyLauz · 20/10/2020 13:41

So sorry that you're feeling this way, its good that you've spoken about it and hopefully now you feel a bit better that you've acknowledged it/written it down. Everyone here is really supportive and we're all on the same journey together. If you've been pregnant in the past then you know that it can happen for you especially with it being last year. It may just be that your body is still getting 'back to normal 'after the implant. Xx

Monday55 · 20/10/2020 13:49

Sorry you're going through a tough time. I've been ttc for over a year too with no luck and it's frustrating.

Ladies on other ttc thread encouraged me to get my 21day bloods and I just got them done today and GP will call me Thursday to discuss results.

You should definitely call your GP and ask to have blood tests related to conception. No gynaecologist is required for that.

Dinosaurus86 · 20/10/2020 14:10

It definitely doesn't sound like you should give up, but I would try to get in at the GP for tests. If you've been pregnant last year then it seems unlikely there are serious issues but it might put your mind at ease. If you can afford it, I would also try to see someone else to help with the anxiety. I've just started acupuncture, which has been helping me to cope with the mental stresses of TTC and also is thought to help with fertility.

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