Anyone decided to give up TTC?

[CalmDown7]

Hey

I’ve been ttc since January this year. Had two early losses/chemicals in that time. In my opinion the egg got fertilised but there was a problem with the implantation side of things so I ended up bleeding when period would have came both times.

I’ve always used opks and never temped.

I’m exhausted, I’m grateful that I’m not childless and sometimes wonder if I should just give up.

Each month zooms by and is taken over by the fertile week, the two week wait and then loads of negative tests and period arriving.

I'm tempted. We've been trying since June 2019. I had a mmc in Jan this year. My cycles have been super long since and I don't think I'm ovulating. I'm waiting for test results from gynae so I'm going to see what they say before I decide whether to quit or not. It's so frustrating and exhausting and just takes over your life.

It’s been 3 years of mmcs, chemicals, an eptopic and termination due fatal fetal abnormalities.

I’m exhausted and truly spent, I’m starting to wonder what life would like like if I’d focused my energy, emotions and finances on other things....

I want to give up.
I’ve been trying for almost 2 years now. I’m 41. I’m so fed up with holding pregnancy tests in any type of different light I can find, squinting, squinting, squinting and then chucking another one in the bin.
I want to stop thinking about it.

Thanks for all your replies ladies. What are you all doing to help aid the process? I only use opks and nothing else. I read about primrose oil, folic acid, vitamin d, pre seed etc and wonder if I should try harder x

I've stopped trying to try, if that makes sense? Today's my first time on mumsnet in months, and I track when my period comes and goes, but that's it.

TTC after a loss is really hard, because grief can cause infertility. I haven't had any luck since we lost our girl at 24 weeks in January, but I've been happier since we stopped tracking ovulation and buying endless tests. I still have the hope month on month, and then the crash when AF arrives, but it's not so intense.

We're moving house now, I'm learning a new language, and I'm back to the gym trying to lose my "grief bacon" so I've got some other things to focus on when I feel my mind whirring about TTC. I don't know if it will work for us, it might even make us less likely to conceive, but honestly I need the mental break - and I think my husband does too!

I use opks everyday and I've been taking a high dose of Folic acid since December. I've just started taking vit d too. I'm not going to bother with any other supplements until I've heard back from gynae. I obviously have some sort of issue so don't want to make it worse.

@CalmDown7 have you tried taking a small dose aspirin? I had two MC and several chemical pregnancies and consultant advised me to try vit B, stronger folic acid and a small dose of aspirin. It’s worth a try. Also I am three years in TTC DC2 - I have often thought of giving up but I know I will regret it later. Also spending a fortune every month on acupuncture and TCM. 😣

I’m not at the giving up stage yet, but I am thinking I might give up mumsnet for a while. It’s helpful in loads of ways, but also makes me feel upset at times and I get quite obsessed.

Hey @AdriannaP, I’ve been looking at low dose aspirin too, what stage will you be taking it please? Just straight away or from BFP? And will you be taking 75mg?

I’ve just had a miscarriage and I’ve bought some hoping it will help me next time xx

Consultant told me to take it from ovulation. I take 75mg a day. It’s like 90p from Boots (a box of 50
or so) and you don’t need a prescription. Doesn’t hurt to try.
@Cafeaulait27

@cafeaulait27 I gave up mumsnet for a few months for exactly the same reason, I don't know why I've come back on it, as I'm back to obsessing again!

The best advice I can give (and I know it's super hard) but don't obsess - focus on yourself:
eat healthy, be calm and relaxed, do things that are good for you or make you feel good.
I know it's super hard and trust me I have cried many days over AF (and of course over my MC) Big hug.

I feel like mumsnet can be unhelpful in many ways, as can constantly googling. Although it’s good to get help on here sometimes, you also constantly get other people’s good news shoved in your face whenever you stumble across a thread that shows someone getting a positive test or complaining about pregnancy symptoms.

Not knocking mumsnet at all (and I’m on it a lot at the mo) but with me having recently had a miscarriage I feel upset when I read about others pregnancies and sort of feel like it’s a bit of a race to get there too when I’m always on here.

I do need to have a break from this...

@AdriannaP thank you! I’ve bought some and think I will do the same, I’m not getting anywhere with the nhs. Do you take progesterone or anything as well? Or will you once you get pregnant? Xx

I went to a private consultant after 2 MC - sorry to say but the NHS is useless. Only after 3 MC in a row will you get some help. Seems very cruel to me.
@Cafeaulait27 I take progesterone twice a day also since I ovulated. I have pregnancy symptoms now so hoping it worked (still a bit too early to test).

@AdriannaP I feel the same way about the nhs. I feel that care for women trying to conceive and in pregnancy is severely underfunded and researched, and I don’t think that’s just due to the fact that the entire nhs is underfunded. I believe that the distribution of funds may be causing this lack of funding in this area, and causing unnecessary trauma as a result.

I have an appointment with a private fertility specialist next week and hoping they can shed some light and prescribe me some progesterone for next time and also get me some blood tests. It’s so eyewateringly expensive though! Xxx

@Cafeaulait27 completely agree with you. I got very bad care during and after my MC and I am convinced they should have taken me more seriously earlier.

Yes unfortunately playing privately is a big hit. Fortunately I could claim some of it on my private insurance (that I have through work), but still spent about £2000 so far. Still waiting for AF so really hope the progesterone helped and I am pregnant this month. Xx

Keep me posted too!

@AdriannaP hope it works for you this month! 🤞 I can also claim a little back through my work health scheme (only £250 though which is pretty much just one appointment!) but it’s better than nothing.

It’s worth it for something as important as this I think. Good luck xxx

it’s so hard when you’re struggling to conceive, and if you’ve suffered a loss I can’t imagine how you feel. I’m so sorry for all those who have.

I took over a year to conceive DD on the wrong side of 40. After doing acupuncture and all the supplements, I eventually got pregnant after a couple of sessions of hypnotherapy! It also helped me cope emotionally, because a year of trying at that age had left me feeling it would never happen, and by that stage I was desperate and consumed by bitterness and anger.

It’s definitely worth getting the bloods done, though mine showed no problem, it was just put down to age. But if they do show something it might be a relatively easy fix.

Keeping fingers crossed for you all.

@Cafeaulait27 thanks
I think I will always regret it if I don’t try everything now.
Fingers crossed for too xx