After a beautiful and slow, natural lead up over a year to finally having sex with the love of my life, the condom overflowed at the base (lol, I’ll take it as a compliment) and I suspected pregnancy last month because I get almost no pms symptoms and am regular. The odds of having sex just one time and it leading into a pregnancy, right? I then calculated my ovulation date based on cycle lengths and low and behold, it was likely the day before or same day.
I got my little pink line, and then the positive only stuck around a couple days as bleeding began. I thought it was odd that I was in so much pain since my previous pregnancy did not involve so much early pain around conception time. I felt as though I had been stabbed. 
And realized what was happening.
Initially I was really worried how he would handle a baby since our relationship had been at a distance for most of the time, but he was devastated with me over the loss. I don’t think anything has hurt as badly in my life even if it was “chemical.” A life ended. We both realized how bad we wanted it, marriage proposal was had a few days ago.
I am on CD 22 and we did our best baby dance over the window of opportunity. I’m not sure if or when I ovulated but I strongly suspect I did, there was no opportunity to test or monitor. I had a faint cramp. Libido spike prior.
I have been mega nauseous and a steady 99°. My breasts are off and on tender and sore, but the low pang cramping day to day reminds me do much of the lead up to CP outcome. :( My moods are all over the place.
So far I haven’t had a positive test, but today I swear I got the faintest of any possible line. I am actively containing my explosive hope and am holding my breath. I wish I was one of those lucky people that can just get a positive on 8DPO. I can’t even imagine what my excitement is going to be when the digital says “Pregnant”. Especially knowing he wants it as badly as I do.
I hope this is the cycle. He suggested we use ovulation testing the next time if I want to. I didn’t think I’d ever be with a partner like this. But last month’s realizations and ultimate loss still hurt.