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When to have second DC

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shreddednips · 03/10/2020 09:10

I'm dithering over when we should try to TTC for DC2. I'm 32. I had my first DS through IVF and he is now 18 months. We struggled with infertility for years as I had never had regular periods since they started- I would either have 4/5 months between 'periods' or bleed constantly for months on end. A cause was never found despite lots of investigations and both consultants I saw thought that I probably wasn't ovulating at all.

My DH and I agreed that we wouldn't do IVF again which is a decision I'm 100% comfortable with. However, for the last 6 months or possibly more, I've had a regular 28 day cycle like clockwork for the first time in my life. We both would like 2 children and I'm beginning to seriously think we should probably try sooner rather than later.

If I hadn't had fertility problems, I wouldn't be thinking about another DC until DS is a bit older, and DH thinks the same. It would be financially much more comfortable to have a bigger age gap and I assume possibly easier to have a baby with a 4 or 5 year old. However, I'm worried that if we wait I will miss the boat and regret not trying sooner. If it turns out that actually I am still infertile and DS is our only child, then I'm happy with that. But I would like to know that we had tried.

I talked to DH about this yesterday and asked how he felt about waiting until March or so, which would give me time to lose a bit of weight and let us get things in order first. He is happy with that and said that although he would prefer a 4 year gap or longer, this seems like the right thing to do given my previous problems.

This probably sounds really silly but I'm completely torn between getting ourselves in the ideal position to have a second child and the urge to take the opportunity while I have this regular cycle, I don't know if it will last. I also feel really guilty and uneasy that my fertility problems are dictating our plans and I feel bad for DH, although he hasn't said anything to indicate that he resents me for it. Any thoughts would be so much appreciated.

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