* chemical pregnancy * - How do I cope now..?

[confusedcoco]

Hi all,

Sorry in advance if this is upsetting to some..

I found out that I was pregnant on Wednesday of this week (30th Sept) and I was so overjoyed.
The test was faint, but the line was there and I felt like all of my wishes had come true 🥺💓

That evening, I began to spot.. I was sure it would be implantation bleeding, and excitedly text my DP to tell him the good news!

Later that evening, I went to bed and saw I had blood all over my pad, underwear, and it had soaked through my clothes. I was and still am absolutely devastated, and have absolutely no idea how I can get past this immense feeling of loss and sadness.

Thursday came around, and I've never bled so heavily in my entire life. A tampon every hour or so, and again, I bled through a tampon, pad, underwear and work uniform.. I was so mortified when I stood up from my office desk to see blood all over my chair, clothes, and floor. I just didn't know what to say to anybody.

I wouldn't have been very far along at all, but still I had all the signs and symptoms and really felt pregnant. Now I feel empty and numb, and I can't stop crying 😔

How do you overcome something like this?! Everybody I've told (not many at all) tells me it's a good thing that I know I can get pregnant, or that it wasn't even a baby so why am I so upset..

😔😔😔 I'm heart broken.

Those people that say well it wasn’t ‘a baby’ I’m sure mean well but are missing the point. It’s that you saw a positive test, got excited and start picturing your new life in front of you and it’s ripped away and replaced with disappointment and sadness. Your feeling is normal, you are allowed to feel sad and this is your loss. I know people are trying to put a positive spin on it but it won’t force a positive feeling on you and unfortunately just leaves you feeling misunderstood and questioning yourself.

Read posts on here or google and read the messages from people who have suffered the same. Reading someone else write exactly how you feel strangely makes you feel less alone.

Try and remember this time will be hard and you can’t outrun the sad feeling so don’t be hard yourself for feeling it. It will however get easier in time. I have been so low in my ttc journey at points but have to remind myself some days are fine and will have says worse or better than others.

Do you know how far along you were? That is quite a lot of blood to me, have your previous periods been that heavy?

@Chica1990 thank you so much for understanding! As I wrote this, I was thinking it probably sounds ridiculous but yes, a loss is still a big deal 💓

I don't know how far along I was.. I got a positive OPK on 17TH September so really couldn't have been too far along.. but have never ever bled so badly in my life. Xx

I think all of the blood doesn’t help, that would be a real shock especially if you haven’t bled that much before.

I got a positive opk on 16th! I’m currently waiting on a second blood test to check if I am miscarrying normally (or by some miracle pregnant after a week of bleeding) so understand your pain. I just want to know where I stand.

I never imagined trying to have a baby would be this difficult or challenging.

@Chica1990 yes that's the thing, all of the blood is so scary.. and having had it so lightly for a good few hours, I thought it was implantation and was so surprised to see it had gotten so much heavier so quickly.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through similar. TTC'ing is so hard, I don't think it's spoken about enough personally. X

Hi, I’m really sorry to hear about your loss and hope you have the support you need.

It sounds like your bleeding an abnormal amount if your changing a tampon every hour - you also shouldn’t use tampons as they can cause infection , something I learnt recently.

I would call your GP first thing tomorrow if you’re still bleeding as much as you say you are.

virtual hugs xxxx

I’m sorry if that sounded a bit insensitive btw! I just read it back. Not my intention, just concerned. I hope you’re looking after yourself xxx

Sending you so many hugs. Stay strong, one day this will all make sense ❤❤❤

I went through the same thing in August. We had a positive digital test that showed we were about 5 weeks. A few days later the dreaded bleeding started. I was beyond devastated. Bled for about a week and it was heavier than my normal period wit lots of clots.

The feeling of loss is overwhelming especially after seeing my hubby and son so excited.

It’s really tough but don’t give up. It’s normal to cry and mourn an early loss. But don’t let it out you off trying again.
By your next cycle you’ll be planning to dtd and get another bfp. Hope you get a sticky one next time!
Just make sure you get an opk to be sure when you ovulate next time as this can slightly alter your cycle.
Sorry babe and good luck 🥺

@Mama1993 not insensitive at all - thank you 💓 I am going to call the doctors this morning just to check that everything's normal. It's really so surreal at the moment xx

@AMS19 thank you so much 💕 xx

@Lille4 I'm so sorry that you've been through the same. It's so hard, isn't it. I didn't ever think that trying for a baby would be so hard.. it's not going to put me off though! 💪 xxx

So sorry this happened to you. I had a very early miscarriage in July, a week after my positive test (maybe classed as a CP I don't know).

I rang GP originally and then 111 as it was a weekend when the bleeding got heavier. But they said to manage at home and then take a test in a few days. It was hard to hear them being so matter of fact but I guess it is such a common thing to them.

Look after yourself, you might not feel like it but you will get through it. I used an ovulation kit as I wanted to carry on trying, and actually got pregnant again the next month. I'm now 11 weeks but still very nervous until my scan in a couple of weeks x

@SazCat so sorry to hear that it happened to you, too. It feels like your world is crashing down all around you 😔

It looks like the bleeding has eased up a little now, and it's getting lighter. So fingers crossed I'm coming towards the end of it all now.

I was using CB ovulation tests last month, I'll keep going with those. Fingers crossed it all works out xx

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I'm sure everything will be just fine 💓💕

I have had a number of chemical pregnancies in the past 18 months. The first one was the most traumatic. You see that line and you suddenly have a different future. Your life goes off in this new direction, and then all of a sudden you start bleeding and that new life is ripped away from you. In as quick an instant as it changed before. It is horrible. To me each baby was exactly that, a baby. Not a bunch of cells, but a baby that had a place in my life.

All I know is that it gets better. You can move on and chances are you will get pregnant again soon, but it certainly doesn't feel like that now, I get that. Sending you massive hugs.

@confusedcoco I had this.
Had 5 positive pregnancy tests, one was a digital. Then AF due date came and I began bleeding, a week later the test was negative. This was back in July. We had been trying for 6 months. My parents said "at least you can get pregnant" I know they meant well. I was however on antibiotics the week implantation would have happened so feel that played a part. 4 weeks later, on the 1st August I found out I was pregnant again! Currently 13 weeks and all is going well. Apparently its a sign your body is getting ready for pregnancy. Take time out to be upset and start trying again when you feel ready. Noone can tell you how much you should be hurting, its all personal and we are allowed to be upset as little or as much as we want x

I had three on on the run before my first. It's actually very common when you're testing early. Disappointing yes but you have to just keep going. You'll more than likely get a sticky one very soon.

@Meme69 I'm so sorry that it's happened to you, too. It just feels like I can't see the silver lining right now. I know it will get better, but I just feel great sadness and loss at the moment 😔

It was a baby to me, too. My future, our dream and it feels like it's been ripped away from me in such a cruel way.

💓😔

@Spinksy9 so sorry to hear that you have been through the same. It's awful, isn't it. Feels like everything has been taken from you in a heartbeat.

I'm praying for our little miracle soon 💓

@batteriesgoing sorry to hear you've had the same, it is very disappointing isn't it 😔 hope I get my little bundle of joy soon 💓