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Original poster

How to stay positive when TTC?

9 replies

Pempink · 28/09/2020 15:20

Hi all,

I am 31 years old and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for 21 months now. We were successful 16 months into the ttc journey however this unfortunately ended in a miscarriage. It is now 5 months on and am finding myself struggling to stay positive, stay strong as we are trying to concieve again.

I have a stressful job and regulary find myself feel down due to this and in addition with the ttc journey. I wanted to ask if anyone had advice on how to stay positive and strong when ttc.

Thank you Smile

OP posts:
CalmDown7 · 28/09/2020 15:24

I find that couples who already have a child find comfort in what they have already been blessed with but those who are childless and trying to conceive - it’s a lot harder on them.

I had two early losses so far this year and get down days, I try and pick myself up super fast so I’m not dwelling on my sadness. I believe God has a plan for me and I guess that’s what keeps me optimistic.

I’m sorry I can’t be much help but just wanted to say I feel you x

Chica1990 · 28/09/2020 15:47

@Pempink I feel your pain, also have a stressful job and wonder if this is hindering things sometimes. Sometimes I feel so so low about it and it’s all I can think about and can’t even describe why I’m upset.

I know it’s not a positive but people I know who have had miscarriages do tend to go into to have full term pregnancies. I think I am miscarrying now but this is the thought I’m holding onto.

I’m also going to try and set myself another goal alongside this to try and distract myself so it’s not all I think about. Maybe you could try setting a money goal or something like read xyz number of books by xyz time?

Do you go to the gym or try meditation? Are you a healthy bmi? Are you using conceive plus lube and their supplements?

TTCmyfirst · 28/09/2020 16:49

So sorry you're struggling! Thanks I'm in a really, really similar situation. It's really hard! Is there anyway you can change your job? I was hanging onto my very stressful job for maternity pay but eventually decided enough was enough!
Also I have tried to shift my mindset to what I do have versus what I don't have. To cherish my body and my health (rather than feel angry at my body) and to focus on my happiness, my relationship, my home etc. A gratitude journal could help.
Also trying to let go of the fear, telling yourself it WILL happen and that you have all the fun stuff to look forward to still Smile

Fizzl · 28/09/2020 17:10

Hi, I can also relate to your post. I'm the wrong side of 30 now and have been ttc since jan 2019 with one MMC and surgery along the way in dec 2019. We've had a couple of breaks during this time for various reasons but it's now been a year since I last fell pregnant and it's starting to wear us down a bit. I also have a stressful job and work a lot of hours. I have considered looking for something less stressful but I'm also reluctant because I do enjoy my work (most of the time) and also financially it feels like a mistake when I'm at the top of my pay scale with a fairly decent maternity package. I know finances aren't the be all and end all and getting (and staying) pregnant is my priority but I'm trying not to lose all rationality and sense just yet😂. That may change though...

Anyway not much advise to offer but I can relate to how you're feeling and it's hard 💐. I always told myself that I'd never let ttc take over my whole life and we'd have to keep enjoying ourselves etc etc but it's impossible. Not helped by covid this year either!

Kinder19 · 28/09/2020 18:56

Hi, we’ve also been trying for the best part of 2 years, had an early miscarriage at the start of this year and had a break after that and changed jobs. It’s difficult but I am hoping that the break has at least taken my full focus away from ttc for a while and maybe that would help you too. Even just a month or two? Try to use the time to refocus and find yourself again for a couple of months. I got to the stage it was all I could think about x

Original poster
Pempink · 29/09/2020 10:50

@CalmDown7 Thank you for your kind message, i am very sorry for your loss.

I will trust in God and have faith that he has a plan for us x

OP posts:
Original poster
Pempink · 29/09/2020 10:55

@Chica1990 Thank you for your response, its comforting to know there are others also feeling like i do, but will have faith that we need to persevere to get there.

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing Flowers

Definetely need to keep my mind of ttc and will take your advice to focus on a hobby x

OP posts:
Original poster
Pempink · 29/09/2020 10:57

@TTCmyfirst Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your experience - appreciate it Smile Flowers

OP posts:
Chica1990 · 29/09/2020 11:14

@Pempink no problem at all and thank you. Before I signed up here I have been close many times to posting really guy wrenching sad posts about what a bad place I’m in because of this, so it was reassuring to see a post that I feel so much.
It’s a desperate and lonely place where we are, what I need to remember when I’m really low is that other days are definitely easier.

Wishing us all luck! :)

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