40 plus ttc 2 losses should I just give up?

[goingmadwaiting]

I've fallen pregnant twice in the last year. I'm 43. One ended in ectopic and I'm now waiting to miscarry the second at 6 weeks due to falling hcg.

I'm beginning to think that I just need to forget the idea now. I am blessed to have one child already but would have liked another....

I’m 41, 2 losses and a 12mth DD.
We are trying again too. I’ve given myself until I’m 44 after that I will stop. It’s hard too know if it’s too late and to stop, but if you think you keep going, then I would.

Tabnks@Em39ma

I don't know if I can cope with the stress and heartache but I feel like I should keep going until it's definitely too late. 44 is a good cut off. I want to feel like I've given it my all ...

I fall easily they just don’t stick. With my first miscarriage I was actually on the pill, so didn’t realise I was pregnant. We were happy when we found out, but it only last 2 weeks. I then fell for my DD 2 months later, we then decided to start trying this feb/March. I fell straight away, had some bleeding which stop at 7 weeks and we saw the heartbeat. We decided to have an extra early scan at 10 weeks and the heart had stopped at 9 weeks. We have found it all a bit stressful and are trying again, so hopefully we get there soon.

I’m not 40 yet, I’m 38. I’m on cycle 12 on ttc now. I mc in jan at 9 weeks, and have had 2 more early losses since then.

I seem to fall pregnant ok, but my body doesn’t hold onto it. I’ve had fertility tests done and nothing wrong was found. All results great, oh’s semen analysis all good, scans showed a good egg reserve. So it likely comes down to my age and just poorer quality eggs.

I’ve been taking 200mg of ubiquinol daily for the last few months as I’ve read it can help improve egg quality in older women.

Like you I’m starting to struggle with the constant losses and have given myself until I’m 40, so 2 more years of ttc and then my partner and I have mutually agreed we’ll call it a day. I’m lucky enough to have 3 children already from my previous relationship so will just learn to be content with what I have.

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, I think you’ll know when you mentally feel done.

Sending hugs, I know it’s not easy, and I know only too well what the constant heartache feels like.

Hi, sadly I am going through this exact thing. I'm 42 soon, I fall pregnant easily, I've had 4cp and 1 MMC in the past 18 months. Ttc for 29 months. I have decided that I don't want to go back on contraception and that if I fall I fall. I'm just so scared that it is going to keep happening and i am not sure if I can cope with it.

So sorry to hear of your experiences @Meme69 @Moominmiss @Em39ma and thanks for sharing makes me feel less alone in all this!

I have decided that once my hcg levels drop to zero I'm going to have one last shot at it. I will take ubiquinol and Angus casta and follow the SMEP. I've also booked a consultation with a private clinic to see if they will prescribe me progesterone as my levels were really low in this pregnancy which the nurse said meant the pregnancy would not be viable

One thing the nurse said to me today really struck a chord she said that trying again after ectopic surgery was very brave and it took a lot of guts so I must really want another baby.

That made me think yes I really do so I'm going to try until my birthday I'm 44 next may and then if I haven't managed to conceive then so be it.

When I was younger I wrote down the names of my future children ( stupid I know) and there is one still missing that I feel is up there waiting for me. I just need the right egg and the right circumstances for it to happen.. putting my positive pants on!

Also have started bleeding today so miscarriage is under way thank goodness as I hate the limbo of waiting. Have poured a large glass of wine

Onwards and upwards!

X

@goingmadwaiting hugs. Drink up that wine. Sorry you are going through this. 44 feels like when I will give up. Although I'm not planning on ever going back on birth control as I love knowing my cycle and being aware of it.

I'm cd7 today and fertile next weekend hopefully and for once DPs shifts have aligned with my fertile days so hopefully we can get it on!

I’m not going back on birth control. The doctors have said it doesn’t work for anyway and I hate how it makes me feel. My DHhas said he will get the snip when I’m ready to stop.

I’m not 40 until January but I can relate to a lot of ladies on here. I’ve got 3 kids and have had 7 miscarriages - 4 before I had our 2 yr old and 3 since. We do discuss stopping but I desperately want another child so we are continuing to try for now. I said 40 would be my cut off but now I’m not sure. My husband is 43 so in some ways we feel it’s more about his age than mine.

So bad news from me. Hospital have called and said my hcg levels have risen after initially falling so they think it's another ectopic. They want me in for another scan tomorrow.

I'm terrified of it being another one and having to have surgery again. Hopefully it will be able to be monitored as my levels are only 212 or I can have an injection but that then means no trying for 3-6 months and I don't have that time to wait as I'll be nearly 44😩

It's so unfair ..

Sorry that is so crap on top of everything. And the unfairness really sucks. I’m also 43 with 8 mcs over the last 4-5 years, had all the investigations and too progesterone and steroids with the last few. We’ve kind of given up the last 7 months, not preventing but hearts not in it any more, still incredibly sad and missing the thought of a second child but coming to terms with it, plus my cycle seems to have completely gone up the spout the last 5 months or so so wondering if it’s peri menopause. If it happens and it sticks beyond 12 weeks it will be a miracle but I think we have been through so much we are accepting it’s not to be but too painful to have a sit down conversation around it. Big hugs for you and I hope the bloody hcg drops and you heal ok.

So sorry to hear of your losses @Widdendream77 that must be really tough.

How old is your dc? Mine is 7 so I do think that even if I do succeed it will be quite tough with a big gap and they won't have a traditional sibling relationship where they play together.

There are lots of logical reasons for giving up.. but my heart is not there yet!

Update from me dr said levels are low so gave me a week to see if it would self resolve rather than injecting so I am crossing my fingers that the levels have dropped by then and I can avoid the injection